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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Encouraging right handedness in toddler

337 replies

Pearlsaplenty · 25/11/2013 08:13

My 2 year has been showing a preference to using his left hand so I have been encouraging him to use his right hand by passing him thing to his right hand, kicking balls to his right side etc. I know it is very bad to force right handedness and I would never do that.

I would prefer him to be right handed as I know it is easier for general everyday living and also I have family members/friends who have said that it is more difficult to be a left handed when it comes to music eg learning guitars upside down if there is no left handed one to use.

Would I be unreasonable to ask his nursery to also encourage this?

OP posts:
Retropear · 25/11/2013 10:27

Feel sorry for the op,she has done nothing wrong.Confused

Original poster
Pearlsaplenty · 25/11/2013 10:29

Ok I'm leaving this thread now so no point replying tht iabu anymore. I'm not cruel or over controlling. I just like him to try new things like craft or else he would never do it. He stops when he wants and we only really do a craft activity for 5- 10 minutes at a time. I thought it was good for him to experience new things and be stimulated rather than just play by his own choosing.

He is good at football but his dad also plays a lot with him and I'm sure this balances out things.

OP posts:
specialsubject · 25/11/2013 10:30

wow - a time traveller from the 1950s! How are you getting on?

being left handed makes NO DIFFERENCE AT ALL. Your family and friends are also time travellers.

speak to someone from this century and you will find out modern thinking.

carry on with this and you can stuff up your child royally. As in the stammer that George VI had because this was done to him.

DazzleU · 25/11/2013 10:30

Eldest was 6 and not still not very dominant- her school and nursery described that as late but all said they would work with what she did.

Other two DC one is very much right handed from get go the other was about 3 before it was really noticed.

ToriaPumpkin- interesting just read a book where a character couldn't surf for same reason - I wondered if it was true.

I use to go to leave the craft stuff to toddler groups or craft days at various places- where they could go and do it if they wanted and the clear up wasn't all on me. It was a good way of seeing what other DC did as well as I had very little experience of what was normal development for DC.

FrauMoose · 25/11/2013 10:33

Spouse is left-handed. Went to elite university. Heads national professional organisation. Also good carpenter and picture framer.

Lots of bizarre postings on Mumsnet of course. But this is definitely one of the more peculiar ones.

Retropear · 25/11/2013 10:37

Pearls don't listen to the competitive hysteria.

Those saying it makes no difference are deluded,it does with handwriting in the early days.I had twins(1left and 1 right) and could see first hand if you'll pardon the pun.

Piano teacher has mentioned a slight issue too(right handed twin is a grade ahead).

Long term when he has learnt to compensate I can see no problem what so ever with anything for my leftie.

ToriaPumpkin · 25/11/2013 10:40

thebody yes, they call it Goofy in the snowboarding world apparently. As soon as someone told me to do what came naturally I started facing the opposite way to the rest of the class and spent a lot more time upright! I then had it marked on my little learning record thing. Whenever I've hired kit since they've asked if I'm goofy. It could just be a snowboarding thing, I've spoken to a friend who's the same, he is left handed though!

lottiegarbanzo · 25/11/2013 10:42

'Should I offer new activities' is nothing like the same question as 'should I encourage right-handedness'.

OddFodd · 25/11/2013 10:42

No one is saying it makes no difference Retro, they're saying that over the long term it's not going to significantly affect his life chances and that 'discouraging' his natural tendency is probably not a good idea.

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 25/11/2013 10:43

My Grandma was one of those children forced to write right handed.

It's terrible! OP you shouldn't even care which hand he prefers, it's not a choice. And at 2 you won't be able to tell yet which hand he prefers, he'll know in a couple of years. Leave him alone!

Jeez, what is wrong with some people....?

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 25/11/2013 10:44

Oh, and life may be easier because you're right handed, if he's left handed it certainly won't be easier for him if you force him to be right handed.

Binkyridesagain · 25/11/2013 10:44

Toria DH is the same, just couldn't get the hang of staying upright, went 'goofy' and his arse has stayed a lot warmer.

(I'll have to ask him if he knew he was goofy, this is the first time I've heard it called that, I just thought he was weird)

sheldor · 25/11/2013 10:49

I've noticed that left handers(ones i have known) are very artistic.My dd(5) is left handed.Me,dp and her 4brothers are all right handed.She's doing just fine in school,her left handedness doesn't hold her back atall

PicardyThird · 25/11/2013 10:50

Dh is left-handed and trained himself to write with his right (says it was entirely his own choice). He does most other stuff with his left. My brother is left-handed and it never held him back. If either of mine had been left-handed (they both had a pretty clear RH preference from quite early on and I was a teeny bit disappointed actually) I can't imagine it would have occurred to me to try and encourage them away from it.

Oh, and (I find this bit almost more concerning than the handedness stuff actually) show me the 2yo who will do any craft activity for more than 5-10 minutes at a time. In fact, at that age it is fantastic going.

He's 2!!! Playing things of their own choosing is how they learn about the world.

dustarr73 · 25/11/2013 10:51

Im left handed and in school i was forced to write with my right hand.Now ive crap writing cause my left hand wasnt used.Please dont do this to teh child.Let them use their preferenced hand.Makes it easier all round.

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 25/11/2013 10:51

My DS eats with his left hand and draws with both, it's quite exciting that he could be left handed as he shows a preference for it. Do I care which hand he turns out to use? No, and neither should you OP.

LittleBearPad · 25/11/2013 10:52

YABVVU and completely ridiculous. Poor little thing - just let him be.

And what's the obsession with playing a guitar.

Forcing children not to be left handed led to all sorts of psychological troubles - why on earth would you mess with your son like this.

and I'm left handed so even more offended Angry

To the other poster who asked about left handed stuff thrn scissors can be a bit of a pain if they are obviously made for right handed people. So are tin openers (although not really used by small children!). The only thing I do different is to use my PC mouse with my left hand - I don't swap the buttons though.

HesterShaw · 25/11/2013 10:53

Oh look it's a "pile on and kick the OP for pages and pages even though she got the message on page one" thread.

My grandma was ambidextrous as a result of being forced to be right handed in the twenties. She could even write perfectly with both. Me, I can't even wipe my bum with the wrong hand.

Retropear · 25/11/2013 10:54

She asked a question and she is right,in the early days it does have a difference,learning to write is harder.

Missed the bit where she said she was going to tie his hand behind his back and force him to write with his right.Hmm

Retropear · 25/11/2013 10:55

I know Hester it's hysterical isn't it.Competitive outrage at it's worst.

Retropear · 25/11/2013 10:57

Lets see who can put the most VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVs in!

AnnieJanuary · 25/11/2013 10:58

"I know it is very bad to force right handedness and I would never do that."

Only, you are. Leave the poor kid alone and be happy about it.

HesterShaw · 25/11/2013 10:58

Actually, if I may be tedious for a moment, what Toria says about being left footed is true, but there are far more left footed people than left handed. And we are all either one eye or the other dominant as well. When I learned rifle shooting, I was right handed but left eye dominant. Caused no end of problems until the instructor spotted that one.

senua · 25/11/2013 10:58

I'm surprised at the number of people, especially lefties, saying that they never thought about how they passed crayons etc to their DC. I purposely passed things dead-centre so that DC was the one to make the decision to take it in the left or right hand.

Most of the time being LH is not too much of a problem but I wish that LH keyboards were more of a standard product - they cost a fortune. I use a stand-alone numberpad instead as a cheaper way to work round the problem.

FloatingFree · 25/11/2013 10:59

Oh look, it's a lone poster coming on to show how different they are by not having the same opinion as everyone else... Wink

Hester - I am ambidextrous too and can write with both left and right hands. On the other hand (do you see what I did there?) I can't imagine being prevented from actually being left handed we are all superior and how that would have felt. It makes my brain hurt a bit to write with my right hand, even though I can do it.