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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Encouraging right handedness in toddler

337 replies

Pearlsaplenty · 25/11/2013 08:13

My 2 year has been showing a preference to using his left hand so I have been encouraging him to use his right hand by passing him thing to his right hand, kicking balls to his right side etc. I know it is very bad to force right handedness and I would never do that.

I would prefer him to be right handed as I know it is easier for general everyday living and also I have family members/friends who have said that it is more difficult to be a left handed when it comes to music eg learning guitars upside down if there is no left handed one to use.

Would I be unreasonable to ask his nursery to also encourage this?

OP posts:
prettybird · 25/11/2013 12:50

Littlebearpad - dh and I are like you - we use the mouse in our left hand but don't swap the buttons over. When we first started using computers regularly old gimmer alert Blush, they were usually a shared resouce, so we just got used to the button set the right handed way. Might explain why I rarely use the right click though! Grin

ButThereAgain · 25/11/2013 12:58

Good lord, some incredibly over-the-top responses to the OP as the thread has progressed. She didn't say there was anything wrong or inferior about left-handedness, she only thought there might be some practical difficulties in a right-handers' world.

She just made a mistake about what was malleable and what wasn't.

That plus a bit of forgivable pfb over-involvement -- which we are most of us guilty of, even in our ostentatious display of leaving little johnnie undirected to explore his handedness and craft skills in pure creative freedom.Grin

LuciusMalfoyisSmokingHot · 25/11/2013 13:01

My DD is left handed and shes perfectly capable, kids adapt easily to things, and your DS will be fine.

rugbychick · 25/11/2013 13:13

Ida child is destined to be left handed no amount of you trying to show preference to your child's right hand will make a difference. This is 2013, not 1913. You are bvu

TalkativeJim · 25/11/2013 13:13

OP I can see you're worried about this, which seems utterly nuts to me but thought I'd check in to give you a bit more data on the plus side.

I'm a left-handed academic who has lovely handwriting, is a good knitter (I knit right-handed, because that's the way I was taught), I play a couple of instruments (not very well I have to say) and have never in my life noticed any difference in how I have to manipulate objects/use machinery/do anything else as a result of being left-handed. Oh, and I'm a champion paper-cutter-outer-of-shapes too (probably using 'right-handed' scissors as we've certainly never bought special lefty ones.

You're worrying about a problem which simply does not exist, and trying to change something which a. cannot be changed and b. actually might hamper your son's development if you try and 'encourage' him to use objects in a way that does not come naturally to him.

AnyBagsofOxfordFuckers · 25/11/2013 13:14

Jimi Hendrix was left-handed. I've heard that he could play the guitar quite well. Hmm

My DH and all his brothers are southpaws, and they all play the guitar, plus other instruments and have had zero problems from being left-handed, except for smuding ink now and then when writing. My brother is right-handed and actually plays a left-handed bass, as he finds it easier.

AnyBagsofOxfordFuckers · 25/11/2013 13:15

smudging

ouryve · 25/11/2013 13:17

Yes, you would be very unreasonable. You would be pushing him into a life of never being quite as good at things as he could be. It is easier to use your left hand well when you are left handed, than it is to use your right hand, so your thinking is extremely flawed.

I'm left handed and it has caused me no problems, whatsoever, save a period of constantly having inky fingers.

Fuckingfacebook · 25/11/2013 13:22

Another sinister lefties here. Shocked at this thread in this day and age.

fancyanotherfez · 25/11/2013 13:30

My DS is left handed and showed a tendency from about 2 as well. I fretted about it right up to his school, thinking his writing would be terrible and he would just find everything so difficult. I always mentioned it when he started pre school and actual school. No teacher thought it was an issue at all. Now he is in year 1, his teacher commented on how lovely his writing is, and he is fabulously artistic, which I think is a trait. It's not like it was in our day ( I don't know how old you are- I'm very old!) when children just had to cope. There are left handed scissors in every classroom and apparently 10% of children are lefties, 3 in each class. It will cause more harm than good to try to make him right handed.

Slatecross · 25/11/2013 14:03

My three year old is fully ambidextrous. It's very cool to see but ever so slightly unnerving! Grin

MammaTJ · 25/11/2013 14:12

Are you going to cover his dominant eye too?

I ask this because cross dominance, that is where the opposite hand is dominant to the dominant eye, causes real problems with co-ordination and sometimes even makes it hard to learn to read and write.

Most people are naturally dominant in the same eye as their dominant hand.

Talkinpeace · 25/11/2013 14:13

OP has gone (she said so)
but it does not take away that fact that she was being INCREDIBLY unreasonable
that forcing children to switch hands had clear links to higher risk of mental illness
and that statistically we lefties are brighter then you righties Grin

MaidOfStars · 25/11/2013 14:16

Think of the most famous guitarist that has ever lived.

Now tell me whether he was right or left-handed.

maddening · 25/11/2013 14:20

According to the psychologist who diagnosed me with dyslexia - the reason I am dyslexic is due to the fact that I am naturally left handed but was forced to be right handed. Yabu.

Talkinpeace · 25/11/2013 14:21

Maidofstars
Well Jimi of course, and I'm seeing Tony next month ....

prettybird · 25/11/2013 14:24

There are many left handers who are "cross dominant". I think they are often "hook handed" left handers like me - maybe so they can see what they are writing Grin

I know my mum (English teacher) and her grandad (architect) were right-eyed left handers. None of us, as far as I'm aware, had any problems with learning to read or write (I won the English prize at school and got 6 As for my Scottish Highers in a single sitting ) nor with coordination.

I do realise that that is anecdotal though Wink

I did have to remind instructors at clay pigeon shooting days that they should ask not what hand they wrote with but whether they are right eyed or left eyed. Grin

It goes back to the point I made earlier that there are degrees of left handedness/brain swappedness.

CoffeeChocolateWine · 25/11/2013 14:25

Yabu. I'm left handed and although rusty now, I'm a talented musician. Granted not the guitar but guitars can be very easily restrung. Jimmy Hendrix was left handed and was pretty good with a guitar! I did have to get a few left handed things like scissors but the most annoying thing was smudging my writing when using a fountain pen. Not such an issue now.

My DS is left handed and I wouldn't dream of encouraging him to use his right hand. I don't think it would work anyway.

CoffeeChocolateWine · 25/11/2013 14:27

Jimi even!

Atomiksnowflake · 25/11/2013 14:32

I am lefthanded ,i play the trumpet lefthanded and i write on a straight piece of paper with no smudging in a straight line.
My scissors are righthanded,i find it easier .

My mother was forced to change hands and still has problems with it.

Mitchell2 · 25/11/2013 14:38

As a left-hander I have never struggled with anything. I played 4 instruments at school, never had an issue knitting, my handwriting is fine, never had an issue with sports.

In fact I think that being left handed, especially when younger made me more creative and good a problem solving as if I was faced with a situation that was set up for right handedness I used to just figure out a way to make it work for me.

Seriously OP is this a wind up?

Walkinglikeazombie · 25/11/2013 14:40

Another leftie here (runs in father's side). Never had any problems for being a left handed, in fact felt a bit more special than other kids in primary school as I was the only leftie in the whole class.

My dad is also left handed, but writes with his right hand as my grandmother thought it "disgusting" for child to write with left. He is 50yo and still annoyed at her. Same goes for my hubby, writes with his right hand but actually a leftie, courtesy of his mum.

We just got a dd 16 weeks ago and my mil was already concerned that she may turn out to be left handed as we both are, but I made it clear to her that I'm not bothered by that, in fact I am rather hoping that she turns out to be a leftie herself.

Don't confuse your dc for no reason, there is NOTHING wrong with being a leftie. have a read

Minnieisthedevilmouse · 25/11/2013 14:42

This is too funny! What a weird thing to be in angst over. Does beg the question if DC shows a preference for boys what on earth will you do....? Of course without 'forcing'.

Two stops past barking!

Heartbrokenmum73 · 25/11/2013 14:43

I'm one of 4 siblings. Two of us are lefties and two are righties. We're all getting on fine in life.

As a rightie, I can distinctly remember a teacher at primary school (some 30 years ago now) trying to bend my fingers into place as I was holding the pencil 'wrong'. I never mastered the pincer grip, yet out of all my siblings I have the neatest handwriting.

Forcing (or 'encouraging') something like this is never the right idea.

SolomanDaisy · 25/11/2013 14:47

I am mystified by so much of this. I'm pretty sure my two year old is left handed, but I have never done anything about it. Although you do have a very unusual two year old, who can be assessed as well coordinated and very good at football, but still eats playdough.