To be fed up that, as a 40-something professional, I can't afford my own home

[GinAndIt]

Just having a bit of a moan really. Before I start, I know that compared to probably 80% of the rest of the world, I'm very well off. I know this is, in fact, probably the definition of a first-world problem.

But ffs. I'm fed up. I pay almost 40% of my salary for a damp two bed flat which isn't even mine. Ds and I could get chucked out at any time. I can't change anything I don't like, I can't replace anything that doesn't work properly. My boiler is on the blink and I'm worried about telling the landlord in case he then decides that my rent is suddenly too cheap.

I actually pay below the (insane) market rate for my rental. I'm stuck, because I couldn't afford to move as prices have spiralled way beyond my reach. And as for buying? Never, ever, ever.

I am 40 years old and work full time in a frontline NHS profession. I earn a salary above the national average, though not by much. All I want is a bit of garden, and a kitchen I could fit a little table in. I'd like to be able to put pictures up without worrying whether I'll mark the walls. I just want somewhere that feels like it's mine. So why do I feel as if IABU?

Isn't private practice an option for you at all?

Or possibly a stint overseas- for a couple of years. The Middle East? Think what your kid would learn.

(Assuming you're a nurse or a doctor.)

It's a bit complicated with my parents, I don't want to go into details as it might out me. They do lots for ds and me in other ways but are drawing the line at sharing their home (or building me a big shed at the end of the garden ) and I have to respect that.

I don't really know anything about buy-to-let. Always assumed it would be out of the question if I couldn't afford a mortgage for myself... I can see how buying in a very cheap area might work as an investment, but it seems like quite an undertaking?

Jeez, Mizu, I bet you had to bite your tongue when he said that!

Totally feel for you, OP. Totally.
We're lucky to own a three-bed semi in a nice area of Oxford now, but we scrimped for YEARS to climb this bloody greasy pole. No fancy holidays, no expensive clothes, pretty much all kids' equipment either second hand or IKEA. We started off with a studio flat, then a two-bed flat, then this place. With each move we moved slightly further from the city. Didn't want to, but whaddyagonnado?

I'm thinking, for you, either shared ownership or getting a family mortgage when your children are adults. This latter is something we'll think about for our two....I'll be damned before I see them getting treated like trash by some sharky landlord.

Family mortgages....have a shuftie. They may be the next thing for people on the financial backfoot.

Courage, Madame, courage. It'll work out.

I lived in Germany for a while and pretty much everyone rents there - owning one's own home is very unusual.

However, the law is firmly on the side of tenants, and much property is owned by social 'trusts' as opposed to unscrupulous individual landlords. Rents are strictly controlled and leases are long. This all makes perfect sense especially when many families live in rented apartments or houses.

Sadly I can't see the UK going this way any time soon due to our market economy, which, unlike Germany's social market economy, puts property-owners (ie landlords) at the top of the hierarchy.

I fully sympathise OP. YADNBU.

YANBU. I do own but it's a tiny flat for a whole family. We don't have a living room because we sleep in there yet I feel so lucky to have this space it's bonkers

Owning your own home isn't the be all and end all, but it certainly seems that way when you've been private renting for years.

We are private renting. If we find a decent landlord we feel the luckiest people in the world it is really unnerving moving from one private rent to another because you have no idea how reasonable your next LL will be.

Our LL is crap at repairs but will happily take rent each month. We have the constant threat of an eviction notice over our head if we dare complain about the dodgy electrics (already happened).

All the advice we get is to move. How people think we can pull a couple of thousand out of our pocket to pay bond and rent up front is beyond me.
Even if we could, who knows if the next LL will be any better.

I know far too many people who are all in the same boat.

Same situation! Have always rented and once again I’ve got to move as landlord isn’t selling! Can’t buy as I don’t have a deposit nor can I save for one because I’m paying rent, which despite being a lot more than a mortgage would be I don’t earn enough to get a mortgage. HA priorities those on the council list or have ridiculous criteria( one HA wouldn’t let me rent because it was me and my adult working son. My place is cheap but looking now rent is so expensive plus most are through agencies so you’re looking at hundreds in fees before you even start! Fed up with it all now tbh

YANBU to be pissed off. It's a sign of the times sadly. Many people, no matter what they do for a job, don't earn enough to be able to buy their own place.

And I wouldn't touch shared ownership with a bargepole. You have a mortgage AND rent, you are responsible for the repairs and maintenance, and you don't actually properly own it. And you will massively struggle to sell it.

No advice sorry.

Totally sympathise.
I am also a professional of sorts and earn above nmw but three kids in the SE it’s a struggle. I’m very fortunate to have a HA house which I got as the result of a run of bad luck and being homeless but I’m so grateful for it.
I’d go in the Council list and consider more remote and less popular areas

Yes, it is shit OP. We were in that position and the only solution we found to own our own home was to move to the north east. It has been a wrench, and I miss my family and friends a lot, but you could get a nice house up here if you can get a job on a similar grade. My parents have now decided to buy a house up here as well and it looks like other members of my family are considering it too.

Oh, just seen this thread is from 2013! Hope you found a solution OP

I feel you. I’m a teacher, and I earn way above the national average but am single. I rang up the bank to enquire about a mortgage and they’ve laughed at me - apparently you have to have a household income of at least £40k to be looking to buy a £300k flat!

The disparity between north and south astounds me it really does. Astounds and upsets tbh.

I earn about 25k (less actually) and I have a 2 bed house in a sort of ok but not well off area. Northern obviously.

Admittedly I don't have children but I consider myself reasonably well off due to not actually being skint and not struggling to pay for things if I need them.

It's really disgusting that people can earn a good salary and not be able to afford to buy a home.

I agree op, it's a nightmare for us here too. I'm early 40s, dh late 30s and have above average salaries, but trying to get a decent deposit together is nigh on impossible. The only places we could currently afford are in rough, junkie filled areas, and we can't bring our ds up somewhere like that. It's so depressing.

Yabu it's an awful situation. I feel for the next generation too. We have our own property but think we only just did it in time before it got out of reach.

Hi I work for itv tonight. I'm looking for mum's nurses, police officers, firefighters working in London who can't afford to buy a home. please contact [email protected]

YANBU.
Alas, the comment that you are not alone is true on a global scale.
Even in supposedly communist China, housing is seen as an opportunity to extract maximum profit, with predictably nasty results for renters described by the urban government as "low-end people".
www.theguardian.com/cities/2018/aug/23/hundreds-of-thousands-displaced-as-shenzhen-upgrades-its-urban-villages
I realise you're not a "low-end" person, but, like those Chinese renters, you're treated as an opportunity to extract profit rather than a member of society who has to live somewhere.

So - at least you get a nice flat that you can decorate and have security, you can;t be asked to move out or gentrified out!

ZOMBIE