To be in dilemma how much to pay to the priest?

[Brokensoul]

My two DD's are getting baptised in RC church. We are at the moment in a bit thight place with the money and I know priest is expecting monetary donation.
I am in dilemma how much is appropriate. Please can someone advice me?! Thank you so much.

I asked before the first of my children was baptised, and I was advised that the amount we would normally spend on a family meal would be appropriate, as HedgeHogGroup said above.

I am quite sure, especially with the new pope, that your priest would be horrified that you were thinking of giving more than you can easily afford. Maybe that's the point of making it a donation? I'd make it a fiver myself, with a nice note saying you are skint but the thought is there.

Interesting, audit, a fiver is around the cost of a family meal, maybe even rather generous for that!

Have just mentioned this thread to DH, (who's a vicar), and he's got a bit cross. He says that baptisms shouldn't really be charged for and its bad form to insist on a donation. (To be fair, its not really a donation if there's a price tag attached!) When he does baptisms he tells the parents that he would like to put a collection plate at the back and will ask the congregation during the baptism to consider donating something to cover the heating/lighting costs of the church. It's then up to individuals to put in what they want.
Dont put too much pressure on yourself OP. Just give whatever you can afford.

I'm a bit by all the respondents who are suggesting that the "donation" should cover the heating and lighting costs of the church. there arent any additional heating and lighting costs for a christening, unlike a wedding or funeral.
if you feel you would like to contribute a bit extra then why not put some additional money in the collection when it comes round?
All this talk of passing money directly to the priest in an envelope sounds faintly sinister, as though you're bribing him to christen your children

Some christenings are stand alone, that's to say they aren't an actual mass themselves, in those cases there won't be a collection during the service.

sorry , I'm not familiar with RC practice, squoosh. I don't quite know what you mean by not having a collection if the service isnt a mass. Is that the same as communion? In our church we celebrate communion once a month, and we don't do christenings at those services because they tend to be longer and more formal. But we take collection whether it's the ordinary Sunday service (with or without a Christening) or the communion service. Does that mean RC churches only take a collection if they have a communion service? Must start reading more about contemporary Christian practices

Squoosh is right. For the last 4 years DH can count on one hand the number of baptisms he's done during a normal service - and 2 of them were our DD's! It's a shame really that this has become the norm, but for a variety of reasons it seems to be. So if you're opening up the church for a stand alone baptism, you have to refire the boiler etc, so it does cost.

Sometimes he has been passed an envelope - nothing sinister about that, normally its that someone wants to give and doesn't want anyone to know what. People can feel abit self conscious when the offereing plate is thrust under their nose - I know i did during a time when times were exceedingly thin. I felt really embarrassed to be putting a bunch of change in the plate as that was all we had left by the end of the week.

I donated about £20 to our priest. There were about 4 families being done at the same service after mass one Sunday. The service took about half an hour. Therefore, if we had all given £20 that would have been £80 untaxed for half an hour's work. Damn good renumeration in my book.

We gave £50 but £20/30/40 would be fine too because it's a donation and you give what you can afford.
Any priest who turns his nose up at a smaller donation is in the wrong job.

Any priest worth his salt would prefer you to donate nothing than go into debt to pay for the christening!
^this

Omg £150?? You give what you can afford.

I'd put what ever you can in an envelope and just give it to the priest. Don't worry if it's not much. If he's a decent priest he'll understand.

Well my church CofE the baptism is in the regular service and just put in the collection tray what you normally would.

I gave £100 and the priest telephoned to thank me for my very generous donation so I was rather under the impression we had donated more than the norm. But we could afford it and were happy to pay it, and the baptism service was a private service outside of the normal Sunday mass. in fact, I think it was on a Saturday. The priest was also very grateful for a piece of christening cake which I took after mass the following day- he seemed touched to be thought of.

In the RC church, sacraments cannot be bought. Baptism (like marriage, first communion etc are sacraments). There should be no fixed 'donation', whatever you can afford is appropriate. But I think it should be what you can afford- I.e. it wouldn't be on to claim you couldn't afford much but then throw a big party afterwards IYSWIM. Your donation can be handed to the priest in a sealed envelope after the baptism- he won't open it in front if you. Most RC parishes don't have a parish office with staff- you just deal with the priest.

why do you have to pay the priest? they are just doing their job for which they already get a salary?

I had a conversation with our vicar and the woman who is incharge of bookings about baptism last week.
I was told "some people don't bat an eye at dropping £500 in and some give £10, but whatever you can afford"
I think I'll probably donate £50 per child. I have 2.

Priests don't get a salary, they may get a stipend but they aren't allowed to keep money . Their housing , food etc is generally paid for by the parish or their order.

Priests have a vocation, not a job, and as such are not salaried. They do receive some 'pay' through their parishes bit it is ot a salary. Traditionally, the collections at Easter and Christmas are for the priest, plus top ups from other services such as baptisms, marriages and funerals.

You give what you can afford, £20 would be fine.

The money gets paid into church funds. Catholic priests use some for living expenses but don't draw a salary.
Church funds (along with diocese funding) pay for all bills for the church and house.

am at the idea of having a baptism outside a Sunday service. Is that a RC thing? Apologies, don't want to give offence if that is the "norm", I've just never hear of a "private" baptism. I belong to a church where baptism is, amongst other things, a way of welcoming a new person into the life and body of the church, and the whole congregation makes vows to support the child (as well as the God parents). That's been the case in the last 3 churches I've attended so I presumed that was the norm. I can't imagine why anyone would want a private baptism for their child except the Royals, to keep out the hoi polloi . But as I say,I don't know anything about the RC services and practices. I'm rather intrigued now. Does that mean you don't get a service with hymns etc? Not necessarily a bad thing, our minister let my DC choose the hymns at their christening and we all ended up singing "One more step along the world I go" which I could really have done without....
I still think, as someone said above, that no priest would want a "donation" that was a financial stretch for the parents.

All baptisms in my parish are done outside the service , can't think of an RC baptism I've been to that hasn't been.
Have also recently been to a Methodist baptism (don't think it's called that?) outside the service.
Didn't consider it to be 'private' and DD has met the congregation anyway at Sunday mass.

As for the 'service' it's quite a lengthy ritual - that and mass beforehand was about 2 hours.

I am shocked that there is any mention of money being exchanged at a ceremony to receive a child into the church. Can't imagine JC being too impressed with that.

Just give a fiver per child OP - it should be a token, not a bloody contribution to the priest's 'salary'. The RC church, like the Anglican one is worth £millions. Your donation is a tiny drop in a vast ocean, and really just a gesture.

You know what, it's a donation, you're committing your child to the church and will give more at some point in the future. I'd give £20 if things were really tight. It IS a donation that counts x