To ask you to help my sister and I plan an epic proposal to her DP?

[ExcitedEmmy]

My sister and her DP have been together for 6 years. He has two daughters aged 7 and 8 and she has a 7 year son plus they have a three year old son and one year old daughter together. They have loads of contact with his children and are sickeningly happy, to be honest. They have spoken about marriage and agree its going to be in their future but her DP is shy about proposing in front of anyone. However, he does like positive attention - just not instigating it (if that makes any sense.) My Dsis wants to plan a surprise proposal. For those of you who hate these things, please stop reading now rather than wasting your time commenting negatively.

Some ideas she/we have had are:

Planning a family photoshoot and having the children hold props reading out 'will you marry me?' Which he doesn't see until the photo

Her hiring a screen at the local cinema - it's really small and so inexpensive. She takes him out for a date (they never go out but have been meaning to for ages) and then the film is interrupted by a photo slide show with music and captions of their lives together so far. At the end it says:'will you marry me?' And when the lights go up it turns out their family/friends/kids have sneaked in and they then have an engagement party.

Opinions on these ideas and any other ideas would be Great please. I know not many women propose and some people don't agree with it, but thought I might get some great ideas here.

[ExcitedEmmy]

SirChenjin neither of them would feel thats very romantic or special. The two of them alone doing the cinema plan would be.

[SirChenjin]

So your sister knows that he wants a public proposal specifically, in front of all of your family? And that only a public proposal is romantic and special?

[saragossa2010]

For legal reasons he might be wise not to marry. I hope he will be given the chance to take legal advice.

[ExcitedEmmy]

SirChenjin - I've already said that shes decided it'll be just the two of them at the cinema. Future - he says when we get married, she says if, he's asked how she'd like to be proposed to - so it isn't a done deal. Why saragossa?

[olidusUrsus]

With respect, Excited this is your DSis and her DP. How did you become so involved in their relationship to know that he definitely wouldn't say no and 100% wants to get married?

She's asked for your opinion so give her it - but the general consensus from MN (inc. me) is that it would be twee, trite and OTT to go in all guns blazing on a public proposal and to spend lots of cash they don't have renting cinema screens or hiring photographers.

I don't understand why the idea of an intimate proposal is so unacceptable. If I were in her shoes I'd corral the kids into helping make him brekkie in bed with "marry me" written in jam on toast (or something else acceptably twee but private).

And anyway, why would you forsake the obligatory and celebratory post-proposal quickie that an intimate proposal allows!?

The fails video was hilarious

[SirChenjin]

My apologies Excited - I must have missed your post about it just going to be the 2 of them at the cinema

I'm afraid I'm still with futureforward, olidusUrsus and all the other heartless naysayers though.

[ExcitedEmmy]

futureforward - 6 yrs isn't that long to have been together to not be engaged or married really is it? I always think less than 4 years is too soon personally.

[Writerwannabe83]

Me and my husband were married within 3 years of meeting each other I'm currently pregnant with our first baby which will be born before our 4th year together. But, we wanted to crack on with it because of our ages as I was 29 and he was 30 at the time of getting married

[JollyGolightly]

This is such a pointless conversation, particularly as this is the 3rd thread you've started, and it's clearly decided that the proposal will go ahead in this form. So yes, YABU.

[MmeLindor]

Gosh, what a load of party poopers. Emmy was excited when she started this thread, but she probably isn't now.

She's said that is what her sister wants to do, so why don't those who hate the idea of a public proposal go and start a thread on how they are horrible and leave the romantic fools here to discuss ways to organise something special.

[BlingBang]

" 6 yrs isn't that long to have been together to not be engaged or married really is it? I always think less than 4 years is too soon personally."

Are you serious - but it's not too soon to have several children together in that 6 yrs - but you see getting engaged and married as a much bigger deal?

We were engaged and married within 18 months of meeting each other - really don't see the point of long engagements. Children came years later. Whether you decide to get married or not is a different matter.