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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my friend is being a bit self entitled re Christmas leave

72 replies

Arabesque1 · 22/11/2013 13:30

She has two children under ten and works full time. Normally she takes leave over Christmas but this year a few colleagues, who usually provide cover because they have no children or their kids are grown up, are complaining and saying they want time off as well. As a result my friend has to go in on 28th and 29th Dec but will have 30th and 31st off (as well as having Christmas, Boxing and the following day off). She's kicking up murder and was on the phone to me for ages last night complaining about it. I made sympathetic noises but AIBU to think she's being a bit selfish about all this? Where I work we take turns, and everyone's needs are treated equally.

BTW her mum lives nearby and is always happy to take the children so it's not a child minding issue.

OP posts:
MrsRajeshKoothrappali · 22/11/2013 13:33

28th and 29th are NOT Christmas. Just keep repeating that.

I've worked with people like this though (care work). They usually phone in sick Christmas Day.

Hmm
Piffpaffpoff · 22/11/2013 13:35

YANBU. any sensible workplace should have a rota with everyone getting a turn at getting Christmas off, or at least be offered the option. Someone at my work puts in for (and gets ) the entire holiday each year and it's so selfish.

ChippingInLovesAutumn · 22/11/2013 13:37

She is being a total prat and someone needs to get her told.

WooWooOwl · 22/11/2013 13:37

I'm struggling to understand the problem. She's not working Christmas!

Anydrinkwilldo · 22/11/2013 13:37

We have a similar issue in my work place. The people who didn't have children were expected to cover Xmas eve and all the rest of the Xmas days (off Xmas day, Boxing Day etc). Some of these women had 'children' who were teenagers! We finally kicked up and boss had to take his head out of his a$$, solution everyone allowed 2 days if too many want same day it goes into a draw. Your friend is being very self entitled and should realise its everyone Christmas not just hers.

Stinkyminkymoo · 22/11/2013 13:38

I think it's so unfair that it's done on a 1st come 1st serve basis when you get people who put in for it on the 2nd jan straight away. Grr

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 22/11/2013 13:38

SIBU! People without kids are entitled to Christmas off too. There are some people where I work who have never worked it. It pisses me off.

attheendoftheendofmytether · 22/11/2013 13:38

Yes totally entitled!

comemulledwinewithmoi · 22/11/2013 13:39

What's she moaning about? As long as she has Christmas Day off?

PrincessScrumpy · 22/11/2013 13:40

haha, see my thread re holiday. dh gets christmas day new year's day off - I'm actually happy about that as previous years he's worked Christmas day.

dfil always has to work school holidays as his kids are grown up - what his company fail to recognise is dmil is a teacher and can only take school holidays! Just because your kids are grown up doesn't mean you don't do anything at Christmas but sounds like your friend has got too used to it and by kicking off this year she'll probably have to work even more next year as everyone will be so annoyed with her!

PenguinsDontEatPancakes · 22/11/2013 13:40

Thankfully we never had this problem at my workplace as there were a couple of people every year who were either saving holiday for a big holiday or who liked working the 'quiet' days and using their annual leave another time. And we were an office so shut Christmas day, Boxing Day and half day Christmas Eve.

But she is being stupid, entitled and quite frankly bloody rude. The personal life of someone without children is no less valuable than someone with children. Almost everyone has relatives or friends that they want to spend time with over Christmas, and everyone who wants to book holiday should have equal priority, on a rota if necessary.

bundaberg · 22/11/2013 13:41

yep, she is. although if you're used to doing it a certain way i guess you come to view it as normal and expected.

my friend is a nurse and HAS to work christmas regardless. it's just the way it works innit?

Beastofburden · 22/11/2013 13:41

Poor ickle princess. Why shouldn't she work her fair share? You are quite right.

I suspect she has got used to having a lovely break at Christmas and has not really given any thought in the past t what it has been like not being her. Agree that the pearl clutching about the children is a red herring.

CoffeeTea103 · 22/11/2013 13:42

People who think they should have priority because they have kids just piss me off. Every one should have turns. Your friend is being entitled.

Sirzy · 22/11/2013 13:42

I hope next year she is made to work christmas day too.

When my dad was nursing NOBODY was allowed christmas day off, they did shorter shifts instead to try to keep it fair. Generally those with young children were given the first pick of shift but that was as far as it went.

I think any system whereby the same people always get christmas off is very unfair unless someone is happy to volunteer to work that day

comemulledwinewithmoi · 22/11/2013 13:43

I've applied for a job, which if I get it will probably work Boxing Day. I am looking forward to escaping

Original poster
Arabesque1 · 22/11/2013 13:43

Thanks. Glad I'm not being unreasonable. As I said, we take turns in my workplace and there's none of that crap of people thinking their circumstances are more important than anyone else's. But I have worked in places where people assumed that because they had children or had to travel to the country over Christmas the same people would constantly cut their Christmas break short every year to provide cover. It always caused very bad feeling.

OP posts:
DameDeepRedBetty · 22/11/2013 13:48

This was one of the many, many reasons I decided to go self employed after taking time out to be SAHM until the twins went to school. Because I hated the way my co-workers who were parents would expect the rest of us to pick up the slack for their responsibilities whenever there was a sports day, nativity, etc etc., and didn't want to put anyone in the same place as I'd been put before.

BenNJerry · 22/11/2013 13:50

YANBU! Where I work we all have children, but even if people don't, I wouldn't have an issue with taking it in turns. The only days we are closed are Christmas Day and Boxing Day. Nobody is allowed to request leave in December as it is our busiest month at work, but we take it in turns to have a couple of days leave over the Christmas week. Last year I had the 27th off, so this year it is my turn to work it. Fair is fair.

magentastardust · 22/11/2013 13:54

I used to have this in my team at work -none of us had children but one girl's family lived a couple of hundred miles away so wanted the whole 2 weeks of Christmas and new year off to go home every year. Fair enough one year but then surely you take it in turns, or either get xmas off and work new year or the otherway around it isn't everyone elses problem that you live away from your family.
Who doesn't have family visits or family visiting them over those holidays -its xmas -everyone is entitled to a turn of the holidays.

HoratiaDrelincourt · 22/11/2013 13:54

SIBU and unrealistic. I've always expected to work at least one day between Christmas and New Year - sometimes even a bank holiday because of the nature of the work.

If they had asked her to work all the days it would not be U to be annoyed and complain, but that isn't what's happened.

IME it's those without children at home who are most likely to want/need to travel around Christmas anyway!

Beastofburden · 22/11/2013 13:58

Its one of the reasons i work where i do- we get good holidays.

I am lucky in that we close down completely from 23 December to 3 January.

Every year I save my other leave and take August off, which saves me a fortune in childcare. I plan my work very carefully and do a bit from home, and nobody has to cover for me. Two years ago, someone left suddenly and I had to cover her job as well as mine. Her job needed stuff doing in August, so I had to work August. If you work in an industry where people have to work over Christmas, then everyone has to do their fair share. If she doesn't like it, she can get a job where they shut for Christmas, like mine

girlywhirly · 22/11/2013 14:05

I remember quite a few staff at a company I worked at would look forward to a few days at work between Christmas and New Year, just to get away from their relatives, or use as an excuse not to travel to them!

Your friend is BVU and should take her turn working those days.

Sirzy, my dad was in nursing and often did a shift on Christmas day when I was young.

limitedperiodonly · 22/11/2013 14:11

She's selfish. We used to have people like that. Going in didn't bother me as much as being expected to.

I also worked with someone whose mother lived in Majorca who used to take three weeks over July/August to visit her and would whack it in the diary as early as she could. Only one person could be off at a time.

One year I couldn't go abroad and would have just liked one week when the weather was fairly likely to be nice in Britain seeing as the weather where she was going was pretty much reliable from April to October.

When I asked her to be a bit flexible she accused me tearfully of trying to stop her seeing her mum.

It was less daughterly affection and more the fact her mum lived near Magaluf where July and August is party time.

sashh · 22/11/2013 14:56

Someone is complaining about having to work on two normal working days?

I bet she has had the operation so she doesn't fart as well.