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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be blubbing over those donkey and general animal charity ads but the starving children ones...

113 replies

CaptainTripps · 22/11/2013 13:12

and suchlike leave me cold.

I mean ffs what is wrong with me? It should be the other way around.

Have I got an human empathy chip missing? I feel really bad about this.

OP posts:
custardo · 22/11/2013 13:16

perhaps the childrens charities need to get the animals charities PR company?

they obviously need to shoot more horrific shots of children dying of hunger, malnutrition, diahorea, preventable disease and lack of clean water

DameDeepRedBetty · 22/11/2013 13:18

I hate to say this but I'm beginning to be horror-proof with starving babies Sad. Ever since the '80s when I was as sickened as anyone else by the Ethiopian famine, there have regularly been images of suffering children both on the news and in charity adverts - and now I just don't 'see' them anymore.

I think it's related to the way that all through my childhood, there would be regular news reports about bombs and other atrocities in Northern Ireland. Which by my teens were such a routine thing that I didn't really notice them anymore.

Original poster
CaptainTripps · 22/11/2013 13:23

Custard - I don't think it would make any difference.

But that donkey staggering around and nearly collapsing under its heavy load makes me want to do something. It upsets me. It makes me rail against all the cruelties towards animals.

OP posts:
custardo · 22/11/2013 13:24

oh fgs.

Original poster
CaptainTripps · 22/11/2013 13:26

Think that may be a part of it Betty.

OP posts:
capsium · 22/11/2013 13:28

I think you have to circumvent your emotions, which you would admit seem a bit out of kilter, and decide to be moved by both.

Emotions can be unreliable sometimes. You might be subconsciously trying to distance yourself from the horror of a starving child.

FreudiansSlipper · 22/11/2013 13:35

yes you lack empathy

some would say it is that you have seen too much suffering you have become descensitized, or maybe you just do not care either way you are unable to show empathy

seeing a child living in the streets that is so hungry and fighting over food in front of you is the most distressing thing I have ever witnessed

getdownshep · 22/11/2013 13:38

I'm the same, I feel sorry for the children but I do get very upset at the animal charity adverts.
It doesn't make me a cold person, I'm just moved more by suffering animals.

Original poster
CaptainTripps · 22/11/2013 13:39

That's an interesting thought, capsium, and rather more insightful than custard's worse-than-useless response(s).

Part of me feels that animals are the poor relatives of fund raising but there will always be someone to look out for the children. I dunno.

But my emotions are out of kilter with what they should be - and for that I feel bad.

OP posts:
Original poster
CaptainTripps · 22/11/2013 13:41

Freudian - I am an empathetic person. So is it fair to say I lack empathy? I asked this of myself earlier. I honestly don't know. All I know is what I am supposed to feel when watching these ads I am not getting or feeling.

OP posts:
capsium · 22/11/2013 13:42

Ah Tripps You've recognised it, the emotions being out of kilter, so you can counteract that. No body is perfect, recognising your fallibility is good and crucial to putting things right.

SilverApples · 22/11/2013 13:45

Part of it might be the sense of helplessness, and the apparent ineffectuality of aid to change long-term problems.
For example, back in 1984 there was a huge famine in Ethiopia, and a mass push from the West to raise funds to help. FF to 2010 and there is still endemic famine, children starving and dying with treatable diseases, and the population has doubled. So the children saved back then now have starving children of their own.
What is the solution?

capsium · 22/11/2013 13:47

Solution? Do what you can.

Hayleychopper · 22/11/2013 13:50

I'm just the same, cant bear to see any cruelty to animals and have to switch off/leave the room when any of those appeals come on. The starving children ones just dont have the same effect on me, I do feel bad about that and often wonder if there is something wrong with me.

There are so many charities and appeals for hungry children etc and poor vulnerable animals seem to be forgotten a lot of the time.

If I was truly honest I would have to admit that I prefer animals to people most of the time.

WooWooOwl · 22/11/2013 13:52

I don't think you lack empathy just because you don't feel moved by adverts about starving children.

If you didn't have empathy and understanding, it wouldn't even enter you head to notice that you feel differently about suffering animals and suffering humans.

You shouldn't have to doubt yourself as a caring person because of the way you react to an advert.

FreudiansSlipper · 22/11/2013 13:54

you asked the question I answered it for you

for whatever reason you are unable to show empathy towards starving children

there could be a number of reasons (gave two) but you did ask

Original poster
CaptainTripps · 22/11/2013 13:58

No - I appreciate your response Freudian. It's giving me pause for thought.

Thanks Woo and Hayley because your replies made me feel a bit more positive. This has been preying on my mind for a while. I knew I'd get some insightful replies on here. Good old MN.

OP posts:
caruthers · 22/11/2013 14:03

There are so many good and needy causes and all of them worthy.

Just do what you can when you can.

the Donkey and Bear adverts get to me too.

FreudiansSlipper · 22/11/2013 14:07

people lack empathy in all different areas of their life at times it is too much to be able to be empathic can remind them and and take them back to a time they felt vulnerable and so on. are victims of violence always emphatic to other victims no

trying to understand why in this situation shows that it is something you are not comfortable and wanting to change

sorry reply was a little harsh but that is my issue around what I have seen

Original poster
CaptainTripps · 22/11/2013 14:09

Thanks caruthers. Damn - had forgotten the bear one. It's another awful one. Feel so helpless.

OP posts:
curlew · 22/11/2013 14:11

Yes you are being unreasonable.
HTH.

ElleMcFearsome · 22/11/2013 14:12

Old article but in 2008 people certainly did care about donkeys! www.theguardian.com/society/2008/apr/24/voluntarysector.charitablegiving

curlew · 22/11/2013 14:12

"There are so many charities and appeals for hungry children etc and poor vulnerable animals seem to be forgotten a lot of the time."

Really? Just have a look at the levels of donations to animal and human charities.

capsium · 22/11/2013 14:13

curlew

No one is reasonable all of the time.
HTH.

SplitHeadGirl · 22/11/2013 14:15

I wonder if it is because animals suffer from deliberate cruelty...it is humans causing their agony and so it stirs up feelings of rage and shame, as well as dep sadness. Whereas with starving children, much of it is as a result of drought, war that we have no control over, poverty...things that just ARE. I feel desperately sorry for the starving children in the ads but the animal ones I can't even watch.