To let the squirrel in to play the Xbox, and while I'm here - do cats understand lawnmowers?

[ThreeInEachLobe]

Yes I am sober.

We have a few regularly visiting squirrels, i feed 'em nuts as i quite like to see their happy little squirrely faces jumping around the garden. One squig though always seems to stay around when the xbox is on (you can see it from the patio doors). I've just turned it on to have a sneaky go at minecraft - squig is eyeballing me again. Tempted to pass him a controller and see what he can do. That's perfectly reasonable isn't it?

And on the cat thing. Last time I mowed my lawn, cat (not mine) just kept moving a little bit away rather than buggering off somewhere else. I swear it was tutting at me as well every time the mower got near him. Don't they understand I'll be mowing the whole lawn?? For notoriously lazy animals, he created quite a bit of work for himself there. Its been bothering me.

TIA for any sage advice in these pressing matters.

[SquirtedPerfumeUpNoseInBoots]

If Mrs B has any sense, she'll be hibernating. It's Baltic here tonight.

[AnyFuckersfrogslegs35]

Aww no sparkling not scabby fox :( I hope its not him.

Do you reckon Mrs B could of called Womens aid and got the fuck out today?

[CuriosityCola]

Aw, poor wee scabby fox.

I have visions of fat Barrie sitting back munching chips whilst watching the telly. Mrs will be cursing him from the side somewhere, 'he hasn't even noticed I've left yet, fat b!'

Still no squirrels here today. Just the magpies. Going to have to improve my food offerings I think. I want some hedgehogs in my garden. Not foxes though, they plagued us in our previous house in London.

[SummerRain]

RIP scabby fox

[Sparklingbrook]

Poor Scabby (if it is him) , he won't get to go in the spaceship now.

[SummerRain]

Maybe he drew the short straw and was the test pilot for the prototype model.

[AnyFuckersfrogslegs35]

Arf @ Summer - poor poor Scabby Fox, RIP (If indeed it is you)

[Sparklingbrook]

I will go and investigate in the morning. I think I would know Scabby if I saw him.

[AnyFuckersfrogslegs35]

Yes Sparkling someone simply must identify the body and I'm quite sure you would be classed as next of kin kind of :)

[Sparklingbrook]

OMG. IT WASN'T SCABBY!!! He has just been for his supper!!

Sorry to scare you all like that.

So who is the deceased fox? Duh-duh-duuuuhhhh.........

[MooseBeTimeForSnow]

There are black squirrels in Vancouver. They look like they stepped out of the pages of Japanese anime. All very ninja-ish. The black fur is due to high levels of testosterone, which makes the little fuckers even more feisty.

[SummerRain]

Oh yay, scabby is alive and safe

They must have coerced another fox into testing the beta model.

[landoflostcontent]

So happy Scabby Fox is still with us but we must not forget the squished fox was some mother's cub :( who was possibly duped by the squirrels into testing the prototype spaceship. So I think we should all pause for a moment and reflect on this.

[MrsBennetsEldest]

Sparkling, if the park in Chester you mentioned earlier was Eton Park don't be fooled by those squirrels, they like to lull you into a false sense of security before they attack. One happily accepted a dog treat from me and then held my dog hostage, by the throat, until I gave up the rest of the treats. Mugged by a bloody squirrel...in Chester of all places....if we had been in Blacon I would have been expecting it but not Eton Park.

Whilst the spaceship theory is plausible could they possibly be recycling....I'm picturing scabby fox rolling his eyes at having to sort out the plastics from the foil night after night.

[landoflostcontent]

Mrs Bennet do you really think the squirrels would be into recycling? They may have duped poor scabby fox into thinking he is saving the planet but the common theme throughout this thread is the Machiavellian behaviour of the squirrels. I note the Vancouver squirrels have even acquired a smart black uniform and that never ends well :)

No, I think it is the spaceship (or world domination) and did we ever discover if they had taken Summer's lightbulb for the spaceship?

[Sparklingbrook]

It was Grosvenor MrsB. They are shameless. Chester is my favourite place in all the world though so I will have to forgive them.

[MrsBennetsEldest]

Land of, what was I thinking....I had completely overlooked the squirrels influence over Sparklings garden gang.

Sparkling, are you aware of any neighbours lightbulbs disappearing? Surely a bona fide spaceship would require more than one. Could you check with the Police?

Come to think of it, I can't find our stapler and the glue gun has disappeared from the garage....I'm off to check the study for the double sided tape.....

[Sparklingbrook]

Can you imagine?

'Hello Officer, i would like to report a furry theft'.

[MrsBennetsEldest]

Chester is lovely Sparkling, though my dog is not of the same opinion since the mugging.

[MrsBennetsEldest]

Yes I'm sure they would think you nuttier than squirrel shit ( see what I did there

[AnyFuckersfrogslegs35]

Yey! It's not Scabby :)

[Sparklingbrook]

Well, the plastic tray is still there this morning. Peas and carrots have been left.

I will try and produce a better supper tonight.

[CuriosityCola]

Glad to hear scabby fox is ok.

They are getting a little cheeky snubbing the veg though aren't they?

[landoflostcontent]

"nuttier than squirrel shit"

[SummerRain]

The veg gets stolen from the compost bin by crazy magpie here... The lid blew off in a storm last year so it's open at the top and the little bugger takes all the best bits and hides them in gutters. I dread to think the mess whoever buys that house will find when they clean their gutters