Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this Headmaster has been overly harsh on my DD

78 replies

pinkmoomin · 19/11/2013 21:02

My DD In Y5 was caught reading a Harry Potter book during the start morning lessons. She had got to an exciting part in the storyb and couldn't tear herself away. The teacher had specifically asked for books to be put away, so it was only right she was punished for not doing what she had been told.

She had to stay in at first break time and then stand outside the Deputy Head's office. I have no problem with this. The Headmaster walked past and asked what she had done wrong. She told him that she had been reading her book in class and was 'addicted' to it. He replied that he was "disappointed" with her and he would like to spend the day at home reading rather then doing jobs at school.

At lunchtime DD was sat in the dining hall eating her dinner and the Headmaster walked over to the table and in a strict voice said "hope you had a better lesson than this morning" in front of her group of friends.

After lunch, headmaster collers DD again in the corridor. She is on her way to girls' football practice and is member of the squad. Headmaster says "do you think badly behaved children should represent the school at football?" when DD replied "No" he said "well, think about it!"

I think he has been extremely harsh. I could understand his threat for really bad behaviour, but for reading in class! Especially ironic as it's book next week and the school are doing their upmost to encourage a love of reading.

DD is upset and doesn't want to go to school tomorrow, which is unlike her.

OP posts:
Bakingtins · 19/11/2013 21:06

Sounds totally OTT. It should have been dropped after his first comment. Losing a break seems a reasonable punishment for reading in a lesson, threatening to take her off the team completely unreasonable.

strruglingoldteach · 19/11/2013 21:07

Reading in class when you've been asked to put your book away is pretty rude and disrespectful. I don't think the HT was particularly harsh. He made a few comments to reinforce the teacher's expectations and to remind her to improve her behaviour. I doubt that the comment about sports was a serious threat.

AmberLeaf · 19/11/2013 21:08

He sounds like a right wanker.

YANBU.

bluecheeseforbreakfast · 19/11/2013 21:10

I think yab a little u.

It doesn't matter what the action was, your dd disobayed her teacher and disrupted the class. If she was reading her book and the teacher had to repeat the information your dd missed meanining the other children missed 2/5/10/15 minutes of the lesson is that ok just because your dd was reading a book rather than playing on a phone or lookin out of the window?

The headteacher seems involved and he has clearly provoked thought in your dd.

nennypops · 19/11/2013 21:10

I so feel for your daughter, that's exactly the sort of thing I used to do. So far as I remember, all that ever happened if I was caught was that I was told to put the book away: I suppose the school took the view that there are far worse crimes that a child can commit, which is what should have happened here.

Not sure what you can do about it though: if you make an issue of it, it will only escalate. Perhaps you could get hold of the Head fairly casually and say she's been thoroughly punished, can we all take it that the incident is over and done with?

NoComet · 19/11/2013 21:10

Way OTT
Surely the teacher just saying stop reading a second time in a stern voice would have done.

It's hardly the crime of the century.

If DDs DF had missed break every time he was caught reading at the wrong time, he would have been on negative play times.

DziezkoDisco · 19/11/2013 21:10

What a bastard.
Hardly crime of the century. She was punished fairly, so move on.

BopsX3 · 19/11/2013 21:13

YANBU

As a previous poster said, he should've dropped it after the first comment. She'd already been punished by her class teacher, no need what so ever to carry it on through the rest of the day Hmm

Topseyt · 19/11/2013 21:13

Rather OTT perhaps, as the matter had already been dealt with.

There may be more to it though. I never assume I have the whole story from children, either my own or any others.

I'd leave it. Put it down to experience. She shouldn't have carried on reading the book, and he didn't actually take her off the team. He was ramming the point home, possibly a little harder than needed.

nennypops · 19/11/2013 21:14

Reading in class when you've been asked to put your book away is pretty rude and disrespectful.

Yes, and being made to stay in at break and stand outside the deputy head's office was the appropriate punishment for it. I think most teachers would tell you that on the scale of rudeness with no. 10 as the worst level, this comes in at around no. 2. Arguably in going on and on about it this Head was undermining his own teachers by implying that their punishment was inadequate.

SconeRhymesWithGone · 19/11/2013 21:14

If she has a history of being well behaved at school, it is definitely OTT.

thebody · 19/11/2013 21:14

are they McGonagglev and Snape? is she at Hogwarts?

well OTT.

shouldnthavesaid · 19/11/2013 21:15

I feel for your DD, I still remember being five and being pulled into headmaster's office yelled at for wearing pink tights to school. I was utterly terrified of him. I know I was a bit younger but it's a horrible feeling being told off at any age (I had to fight back tears after a headteacher shouted at me when I was on a uni placement!!), and it sounds as if he's been a bit too harsh with her - one punishment is enough. I'm not sure what can be done (in my case, my Gran I think - as she was a teacher there too - queried it). I think if it carries on tommorow, I'd tell the teacher.

HotDogSlaughter · 19/11/2013 21:16

What an idiot.

She was duly punished he needs to shut the fuck up and move on!

shouldnthavesaid · 19/11/2013 21:16

Paha, that's not written well - query it with class teacher sounds better!

FunkyBoldRibena · 19/11/2013 21:17

Punished for reading - excellent way to go Headmaster! Whoop whoop...

thebody · 19/11/2013 21:17

is football quidditch??

hope this is a joke op? if not apologies.

ChippingInLovesAutumn · 19/11/2013 21:22

What an arse.

He could just have said 'It's hard when you really, really want to read your book but there are other things that have to be done. it takes self discipline to do, what you know you need to do. I hope you realise it was rude to keep reading and I wont see you here again :)'

He didn't need to comment again - that's just being an arse.

I'd hate to see how he carries on with the really naughty kids!

WorraLiberty · 19/11/2013 21:23

It sounds as though he perhaps reacted that way because your DD tried to minimise the disobedience in the same way that you are.

She tried to minimise it by offering up an excuse about it being 'addictive' and you're doing the same by mentioning it's "ironic as it's book next week and the school are doing their upmost to encourage a love of reading."

Disobedience is disobedience. You don't get to pick and choose.

Salmotrutta · 19/11/2013 21:27

Well it all depends on what, exactly, your daughter's responses to the HT were when he spoke to her initially.
Perhaps there was a bit more to it?

Even the flattest pancake has two sides - to steal a phrase I read on here once.

ThisIsBULLSHIT · 19/11/2013 21:29

Very harsh IMO. One or two comments ok, but the one about badly behaved children representing the school is a particularly unkind comment. Missing playtime is a pretty severe punishment in my school, not one I would dish out lightly, or for reading!!

I feel sorry for her. I would drop it though and encourage her to try to learn from it and move on.

ThisIsBULLSHIT · 19/11/2013 21:29
Salmotrutta · 19/11/2013 21:30
Original poster
pinkmoomin · 19/11/2013 21:31

No, unfortunately this is no Hogwarts but a bog standard state school in
Surrey, home of the Dursleys.

OP posts:
justanuthermanicmumsday · 19/11/2013 21:32

Head teacher sounds childish, making little comments whenever he spotted her very unprofessional.

I think it's ott losing a break for reading a book. It's hardly the crime of the century. Yes it was wrong but utterly rude appalling behaviour not at all. If I was the teacher i would have warned her and confiscated the book till the end of lesson or the school day. There was no need for head teacher involvement. I would only seek head teacher help for exceptionally bad behaviour, reading a book is hardly up there with bad language, violence, or blackmail is it lol