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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think this Headmaster has been overly harsh on my DD

78 replies

pinkmoomin · 19/11/2013 21:02

My DD In Y5 was caught reading a Harry Potter book during the start morning lessons. She had got to an exciting part in the storyb and couldn't tear herself away. The teacher had specifically asked for books to be put away, so it was only right she was punished for not doing what she had been told.

She had to stay in at first break time and then stand outside the Deputy Head's office. I have no problem with this. The Headmaster walked past and asked what she had done wrong. She told him that she had been reading her book in class and was 'addicted' to it. He replied that he was "disappointed" with her and he would like to spend the day at home reading rather then doing jobs at school.

At lunchtime DD was sat in the dining hall eating her dinner and the Headmaster walked over to the table and in a strict voice said "hope you had a better lesson than this morning" in front of her group of friends.

After lunch, headmaster collers DD again in the corridor. She is on her way to girls' football practice and is member of the squad. Headmaster says "do you think badly behaved children should represent the school at football?" when DD replied "No" he said "well, think about it!"

I think he has been extremely harsh. I could understand his threat for really bad behaviour, but for reading in class! Especially ironic as it's book next week and the school are doing their upmost to encourage a love of reading.

DD is upset and doesn't want to go to school tomorrow, which is unlike her.

OP posts:
sonlypuppyfat · 19/11/2013 21:56

Oh I bloody love teachers little Hitlers.

clam · 19/11/2013 21:58

Head/Deputy - makes no difference. I don't see why the teacher couldn't have dealt with it herself.

But I disagree with worra that there is any need to take it further by going in to quiz the Head. Yes, feel privately aggrieved, tell your dd to chalk it up to experience (and as payback for all the things she might have got away with in the past! Grin ) but let it go. It's not worth it.

Original poster
pinkmoomin · 19/11/2013 21:59

Yes she's confident, but not cheeky. When he first spoke to her outside the Deputy's Office she had been crying.

Worra, think I will follow your advise and make an appointment to see him to find out exactly what is going on.

OP posts:
Squidwardtenticles · 19/11/2013 22:00

What a prize prick that headmaster sounds.
Your Dd was already told off, why continue the punishment with sly comments?
Some people can only pick on kids.

WorraLiberty · 19/11/2013 22:01

clam I would advise the OP and her DD to just get over it

But she said DD is upset and doesn't want to go to school tomorrow, which is unlike her.

Therefore, rather than just satisfy herself that the Head was OTT and in the wrong, it might be best to find out the facts.

Perhaps that way she can explain to her DD why the Head reacted that way (or not as the case may be).

Nanny0gg · 19/11/2013 22:04

Taking all this at face value, I think your DD's punishment was over the top. Why on earth did the Deputy have to be involved? Surely the teacher could have found something appropriate? Staying in at break was fine.

The HT was unbelieveably over the top. One comment was sufficient. The rest was totally over the top.

Trouble is, I would have been your DD. Once I was immersed in a book, it took a crowbar to prise me out of it. That's the trouble with the way reading is treated in schools. It's always for a purpose, never for pleasure.

Snargaluff · 19/11/2013 22:04

How odd! I'm a teacher and yesterday saw a lad reading in my lesson. I told him sternly in front of the class to put it away. Then I went up to him when class was working and sternly (ish) told him I didn't expect that again on my lessons, but then I smiled and asked what the book was about. I think it's great to see kids reading; I don't like it in my lessons obviously but I can't be angry about it!

clam · 19/11/2013 22:04

Yeah, well, it might perhaps make him think twice about being such a prick in future, I suppose.

Fairenuff · 19/11/2013 22:04

I would be surprised if there wasn't more to this. It's just such an unlikely reaction to a child that has never been in trouble before and is usually compliant. Especially, the comment about 'badly behaved' children representing the school. Something doesn't add up here.

TreaterAnita · 19/11/2013 22:05

I think he was being OTT. Yes, she was being disobedient and ought to be punished for that, but she already was being. The little comments from the Head sound entirely unnecessary to me, especially when he could have used it as an opportunity to talk about the virtues of reading, but the importance of doing it at the right time. I rarely agree that parents are NBU on these school threads (I only have a pre-schooler though, maybe my views will change) but on this occasion I'd be pretty pissed off I think, especially about the sports team comment.

It does strike me that she's perhaps one of the kids from whom disobedience is not 'expected' and he's hammering it home to make sure she doesn't do it again, but that's both unjust to your daughter and a fairly ham fisted approach from him.

ilovesooty · 19/11/2013 22:05

I think to bang on about it several times sounds OTT.

sonlypuppyfat nothing like a generalisation is there? Hmm

Alexandrite · 19/11/2013 22:06

I think all that was needed was for her to be told off at the time of reading the book and that it was ok for the head to ask why she was outside the office and say he was disappointed, but not to keep on picking on her. Shock

gloriafloria · 19/11/2013 22:07

Sounds way ott to me. My y4 dd has been caught reading in class at the wrong time and lost 5 minutes of golden time which seems fair enough. Your dd's punishment seems harsh in comparison.

clam · 19/11/2013 22:07

See, I don't even think staying in at break is appropriate. Children need that break to let off steam (otherwise some of them are even harder to channel afterwards) and I reserve it for more serious 'crimes.' Even then it would be for a maximum of 5 minutes, maybe a bit more if it's the beginning of lunchtime and they'll still have time to run about.

Alexandrite · 19/11/2013 22:09

Sorry if this has been asked as not read whole thread,but is it poss your dd was rude when asked to put the book away but has ommitted to mention this? It just seems such an extreme reaction for reading in class

neversleepagain · 19/11/2013 22:13

Surely this man has more important things to do with his day than hounding a year 5 girl for such a silly reason.

MayTheOddsBeEverInYourFavour · 19/11/2013 22:28

YANBU

The head sounds very OTT and a bit of a prick. Even if she had done something awful surely once a punishment is administered that should be the end of it not several comments and digs about it long afterwards

SkullyAndBones · 19/11/2013 22:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

clam · 19/11/2013 22:46

neversleepagain well he is clearly a Very Important Man and needs to jack-boot around his school for an ego-boost making jolly sure that everyone SEES. HIM. COMING. and stands to attention.

Original poster
pinkmoomin · 19/11/2013 22:48

Alex, no DD was not rude to her teacher. She accepts she was wrong to disobey the teacher and read in class.

OP posts:
Original poster
pinkmoomin · 19/11/2013 22:54

Agree with you there Clam, and he looks like aHobbit. Perhaps DD should read that next.

OP posts:
ninah · 19/11/2013 22:59

God I hate it when they say they are 'disappointed'. So ineffectual. I know a HT who says this .... to his teachers. Also, standing in the corridor is such a useless punishment.
Having said that, in Y5 I'd expect some comeback for disobedience. Is it a v small school?

songlark · 19/11/2013 22:59

There was no need for the headmaster to have got involved, it was being dealt with. I'm sure there's far worse behaviour at the school. How does he deal with bullies I wonder.

sonlypuppyfat · 19/11/2013 23:16

Probably a public flogging for forgetting your PE kit.

ninah · 19/11/2013 23:17

my ds's HT gave him lines for that 'I must remember my PE kit'
Sorry ds, the school's lost property system is obvs crap but if you'd told me sooner I'd have bought another

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