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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset about friend commenting on my breastfeeding.

86 replies

NachoAddict · 15/11/2013 23:06

I went round to a friends house after I put the kids into bed so about 8pm.

Friends is two doors down from us. I had a two glasses of alcho pop with lemonade, friend had 1 - 1.5 bottles of wine and we had a good chat.

Dp rung me at 10 as Ds had woken up. This was the arrangement as although Ds will go down without feeding, when he wakes in the night he only settled with bf, he doesn't have a bottle, never has and gets quite cross if you offer him a dummy.

So I said to friend right I will be off then, ds is calling.

She replied He is 16 months old, I cant believe your still feeding him it's wrong. He shouldn't be sucking on your boob. I said he's just a baby and he needs me. To which she replied no you need him. You will still be feeding him at school.

I laughed it off because she had drunk a bottle of wine and wouldn't usually be so rude but should I have said something else?

AIBU to be still thinking about it and letting it worry me?

Also AIBU to drink two very weak alcoholic drinks while aI am breastfeeding?

OP posts:
mumteedum · 16/11/2013 18:28

Op - if you're happy and baby happy then there's no problem. Ignore drunk friend. She has no experience of bf & doesn't understand. Sadly lots like her. I'd say try not to be upset with dh. He's chosen not to say anything till now so he has supported your decision to continue in a way. Think most men feel same if they're honest. Maybe feels bit left out.

I've stopped bf ds now. He stopped v gradually and I knew we were both ready. He was 2yr and a bit. So so happy I didn't stop earlier. It was the nicest way to stop. (don't offer, don't refuse, great advice from mn!) No tears just happy memories and happy to be moving on. Hope it's same for you when you're both ready.

Original poster
NachoAddict · 16/11/2013 20:24

mumteedum that is lovely and I really hope that is how it goes for us too.

I'm not cross with dp, whatever he thinks he openly admits that while he doesn't necessarily agree he knows we will drop when we are ready.

OP posts:
TheRealAmandaClarke · 17/11/2013 06:32

Sorry willow I only asked because I like to have a glass on a Sunday (rock n roll) and I was wondering at what point other women worry.
My DS has a little enamel gap on one tooth. I don't know why.

LovesBeingHereAgain · 17/11/2013 06:45

She doesn't understand bf and has watched too my Little Britton

ipswichwitch · 17/11/2013 06:48

I bf DS until he was 16 mo, and only having bedtime feeds by then. He just dropped it by himself - no tears, no tantrums, just one happy little boy. I did get quite a lot of comments bout stopping sooner and how it's would be "better for me" (funny how everyone knows what's best for me, obviously I don't have a clue being a grown woman in her mid 30s Hmm)
I did tell one interfering relative that they would get a say in how long I bf him for when it was actually them doing it. I just don't get why these people are so rude and obstructive about something they have nothing to do with.

lagoonhaze · 17/11/2013 06:57

I weaned dd at 22mths. Sleep was a major issue i was failing degree and work from pure exhaustion.

Id lost support of DP who had lost focus on the benefits.

All of my friends who had issues with my daughter feeding either didnt attempt breastfeeding or openly admit social reasons for stopping. It really is their issue but a bit of recognition for how well Ive done (after not feeding dc1 for long) would be nice. Otherwise butting out and

lagoonhaze · 17/11/2013 06:58

..... minding their own business id be happy with

rednellie · 17/11/2013 07:14

My favourite response for when anyone asks you when are you going to stop feeding them? Is to say: oh, in about ten minutes. And smile sweetly.

'Still' feeding my Dtwins at 20 months. I'm one of the few natural term bf I know despite all my mates startingoff bf. But my mum fed me till I was 3 so it seems totally normal and lovely to me.

nickelbabe · 17/11/2013 13:41

yy nellie
mine's usually "I don't know really, if she drops off to sleep, I'll take her off, or until she starts faffing around" Grin

rabbitlady · 17/11/2013 16:25

for goodness sake, don't let some ignorant neighbour put you off doing what you and your baby know is right. very few adults go to mum for a feed, i'm guessing, so every breastfed baby must give up eventually.

my daughter was four years three months and we gave up by agreement, because she was ready. we planned to give up when she was four (we talked about it months in advance) but she had a cold after her birthday so it went on a bit longer. she'd definitely stopped by the time her father and i officially split up, at four years three months.

i don't regret one moment of being a breastfeeding mum. although i'm aspie and probably undiagnosed bi-polar and though she's had loads of my mh issues to put up with throughout her life, she has never doubted that i love her and she is first in my life. that's what extended breastfeeding does for you.

and when she had her own baby, at the age of 29, breastfeeding wasn't a problem because she knew exactly how it was done. baby is still feeding, two years old this week.

follow your baby. he'll know when he's ready to stop.

womblesofwestminster · 17/11/2013 20:29

oh and no she didn't breastfeed, she has said all along that she couldn't do it because of the amount they feed and how reliant they are on you

This says it all.

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