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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to wanna call social services on neighbour??

35 replies

HankEpankie · 15/11/2013 00:11

I've got this delightful neighbour who has one ds around 2/3 years old.

Now I appreciate that everyone is entitled to parent in their own way and i hate gettin involved in other ppls business etc but sometimes it's necessary ( I mean we r talking about a child) ...Her behaviour makes my blood boil..

Firstly, she is always screaming at the kid, not just normal tellin off I mean callin him a c* , tellin him to f off etc at the top of her lungs, day in day out - so loud I can hear every word through my walls (and he's only little)

She also smokes weed - in and around her house and I've actually been walking past before and she's been on the doorstep with him on her lap while she's smoking a joint!!

She's forever arguing with her latest boyfriend /playing very loud music until all hours most nights even though she has a baby in the house- police are always getting called there for whatever reason

The first time I ever met her ws when she knocked at mine with her ds askin if I had a cigarette- when I said no, she asked me to hold him for a sec while she knocked at the other neighbours houses and I kid u not
She did not come bk for about 4 hours!!!!! She had no idea who I was, and she just left her kid with me without even askin if it was ok - when she finally came bk she was drunk and said she got chattin to a neighbour and had "a few brandys" - no apologies nothin

Then again tonight the police were at hers cos she left her ds in the house & ws outside arguin with her bf and she managed to lock herself out! And ds ws inside scared and screaming cos he ws on his own!!!!

What the actual fuck!?? Should I just call them,? I am really concerned about this child, I can't just stand back and watch him be abused and treated this way!

OP posts:

lessonsintightropes · 15/11/2013 00:13

Disengage, call SS and the police if she pulls the same stunt again.

lagoonhaze · 15/11/2013 00:14

just call them tomorrow and follow up with phone call on every further concern

Canthisonebeused · 15/11/2013 00:16

Call social services though I'm pretty sceptical that police involvement to this scale has not alerted any kind of safeguarding alerts.

Original poster

HankEpankie · 15/11/2013 00:39

I am also suprised that police haven't followed up ...but in the area i live in they seem to be used to this kinda thing and dont really take much action

I've had to call them on a number of occasions and I'm not the only one, I know she has had several visits from the council regarding her behaviour but they r useless they just give her warning after warning about breaching her tenancy but don't actually follow through ..

She's even had the RSPCA round loads of times cos she also has a dog that she treats appallingly !!

I'm just gonna call them tomorrow - I feel it really is affecting him, everytime I see him he looks miserable and the weirdest thing is he doesn't speak - not in a shy way, i dont
think he can actually say any words for a 3 yr old that's not right!!

OP posts:

OralB · 15/11/2013 00:50

Call them. Poor boy

salsmum · 15/11/2013 01:50

I would say call SS AND the RSPCA...I would rather be a possible 'saviour' to that poor child than look the other way and wait for the worse . please do update us x

ohms11 · 15/11/2013 02:33

I would say you must call them. She may not be able to keep her child safe and meet his needs when smoking cannabis and drinking. She may be neglecting him. She is definitely emotionally abusing him. In my area that would be grounds for his name going on the child protection register.

StrawberryGashes · 15/11/2013 02:34

If the police have been called for domestic issues while he's been there then SS will have been notified, she maybe just hasn't told you, but call them if you have concerns.

BodaciousTatas · 15/11/2013 06:47

SS will be aware as police report all incidences involving a child I would however call and have a word with them anyway as they may be unaware of this other information.

mewmeow · 15/11/2013 07:14

Like others have said, im sure the ss must already be aware by now after all those police visits. You do what you think is right though if not convinced.

baskingseals · 15/11/2013 07:18

You are doing the right thing by calling them. You could also call the NSPC for advice as well, they are there to help you.

I am so sorry for this little boy, please call.

Dolallytats · 15/11/2013 07:32

Call them. I had to call them on my neighbour and what she was doing was nowhere near as bad as what you are describing. My neighbour would scream almost continuously at her children, although the eldest used to cop it more (that's how I learnt her name ).

It seems to have calmed down now, although she does still do it.

pumpkinsweetie · 15/11/2013 07:36

What scum, poor little boy!
I would phone them

wherethewildthingis · 15/11/2013 07:52

I hope you have already called social care but if not, please do. They will have an out of hours service so you don't need to wait for office hours.

Original poster

HankEpankie · 15/11/2013 08:02

I called the out of hours service just after posting this thread - the lady was really helpful - obviously they couldnt tell me if she was already known to them but she did say there are definite grounds for a spot check visit -hopefully they are sending someone around soon

I'm also going to call the RSPCA for that poor dog once offices are open!

OP posts:

ocelot41 · 15/11/2013 09:45

Good on you, OP. I know (now happily adopted) children who were neglected - it does them a lot of harm so you are right to report.

Poor kid and poor you having to live next door to this too

NotYoMomma · 15/11/2013 09:49

im shocked at the amount of people saying 'I'm sure SS already know'

errr it's attitudes like that that mean children fall through cracks

you must call OP even if they do know, you must call

Gileswithachainsaw · 15/11/2013 09:49

Well done for calling. What a horrid horrid mother. I hope they take the kid and the dog and put them in loving homes :(

StrawberryGashes · 15/11/2013 10:06

im shocked at the amount of people saying 'I'm sure SS already know'

Nobody is saying don't call them, plenty of people have said call them as well if you have concerns, but it is just being pointed out that the police report to SS if a child is involved in a domestic.

Collaborate · 15/11/2013 10:20

You'll notice the police calling but SS don't advertise their presence.

Do speak to them though. You may be able to give them information they don't already have. They will respect your confidentiality.

Babyroobs · 15/11/2013 11:33

I wouldn't hesitate to call ss, poor child.

theyoniwayisnorthwards · 15/11/2013 11:38

Even if they already know the LA will have to build a case to convince a judge to grant a care order if that is what the child needs. (Now or in the future). Your phone call provides further evidence and helps them out together a better picture of the risks to the child. Always always call if you are worried about a child.

KitZacJak · 15/11/2013 11:45

Well done for calling and please keep calling every time something happens.

lardydahdydah · 15/11/2013 11:52

thank you for calling them, but keep calling with each new problem.

i have and would continue to do so.

my justification is always... you are an adult you can deal with me if i am wrong. they are a child, i never want a kid saying to me... why didnt you DO something?

littlewhitebag · 15/11/2013 11:56

If the police have been involved then the likelihood is that SS are aware of this family as they usually submit a report to SS when there is a child in the house.

However that should not stop you calling SS to pass on your concerns as they usually need to build up a picture over time of what is going on in the family. A number of concerns about the same things over a short period will be a flag to do a visit and maybe initiate other safeguarding procedures.

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