Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

To thnk that its a certain breed of woman (or man) that joins the pfa!

50 replies

LEMisafucker · 14/11/2013 09:55

I think so (disclaimer - i am on the PFA and very much fit into the following stereotype).

Our school is quite middle class i suppose (or at least people like to think it is). However, most of the people on the PFA are slightly rougher round the edges, salt of the earth types. Especially the ones who actually get on and do the donkey work, as opposed to those who sell a few raffle tickets and think they have single handedly saved the school playground from condemnation.

Oh and its bitchy, VERY bitchy - i have never known anything quite like it.

What are the PFA members like at your school?

Our cake making guru is lovely though and makes the bestest cakes in the world - no ldc or but potentially a CFC

OP posts:

Tailtwister · 14/11/2013 09:57

Is PFA the same as the PTA? If so, I have no idea what they're like as I stay well clear! However, I do volunteer for the bigger events and man stalls, bake etc.

redskyatnight · 14/11/2013 09:58

No bitchiniess at our one. It's made up by parents who genuinely support the aim of fundraising for the school and really put themselves out to do so.

mrsjay · 14/11/2013 10:00

I assume you mean PTA I was on dds when they were in primary I was a bit of a doer helped and the discos went round to ask for donations for raffles, I wasn't really in the inner circle so to speak but I didnt mind I just got on with it there were people who looked VERY VERY busy but did eff all which used to drive me insane they liked the admiration of the headteacher and called her by her first name I just didnt get into any bitching and probably really didnt fit in sometimes but just kept my head down and got on with it because I enjoyed doing it

DameDeepRedBetty · 14/11/2013 10:01

redsky do you live in some amazing alternatitive universe?

I was Secretary and later Chair at ours - mostly very pleasant although we did have trouble with a clique at one point.

Shesparkles · 14/11/2013 10:03

Ours wasn't bitchy but was a very tight knit clique, with "it's our way or no way" as their motto.
I gave up after just short of 2 years-and I was the chair!

Orangesarenottheonlyfruit · 14/11/2013 10:03

The PTA at our (private) school is amazingly bitchy. A couple of my friends joined and I started to get involved but we were all disgusted at the sniping and squabbling. I was an events producer for a number of years and offered my services to help with the school ball but any ideas I had were robustly shot down. "It's always been this way" was the prevailing attitude. Understandably my friends flounced after a stunning email bitchfest that was then sent to everyone. I have avoided getting involved subsequently. I dutifully attend the events though and refuse to get dragged into the bitching.
Glad to hear we're not alone as otherwise it is a lovely school.

mrsjay · 14/11/2013 10:04

I was a member of the PTA on and off for 12 years and it did go in peak and troughs and one year it was just awful with cliqueness (sp) I did leave for a bit and just helped out

ZombieMonkeyButler · 14/11/2013 10:05

It's quite common to have a PFA now or a PTFA even. The F stands for friends. I spent 8 yrs on the PTFA at Ds2's school. I am neither middle class nor bitchy!

mrsjay · 14/11/2013 10:05

OH ok I didn't think it was a typo ZOmbie i just didnt know what it meant IYSWIM

Bunbaker · 14/11/2013 10:05

When I was on the PTA, (not PFA whatever that means) it wasn't the least bit cliquey or bitchy. It was just a group of parents and teachers who wanted to support the school. Our PTA didn't fit the MN stereotype at all.

LittleMissGerardPoppyButler · 14/11/2013 10:06

I was on ours for a year, then I couldn't take any more bitchiness! There were a couple of hard workers who were lovely, the rest of them were just horrible.

The final straw for me was being left by myself in a room with 3 stalls and having to run them by myself while the others went on the easier stuff and there was 2 of them on each thing. After that I thought fuck that for a packet of biscuits, I wanted to help and you took advantage of me.

Apparently now it's much better, but I won't be going back to find out!

redshifter · 14/11/2013 10:07

I looked at this thread as I thought it was going to be about football.

FutTheShuckUp · 14/11/2013 10:08

The people at our school who are in it are the typically self obsessed do anything or recognition look at me aren't I a saint type people

mrsjay · 14/11/2013 10:13

It was the school board (scottish govenors (sp) ) i had problems with they were so bloody important and so smug I wouldnt have gone near the schol board with a barge pole lots of very busy dads giving their time and lots of rushing about to go to meetings then back to work

Original poster

LEMisafucker · 14/11/2013 10:19

I think the board of governers take bitchyness to the next level

OP posts:

unlucky83 · 14/11/2013 10:19

Our PTA isn't at all bitchy - we are just desperate for new ideas/ new blood. I do think we may come across as cliquey though - mainly because we have all been doing it for years and so know each other really well - if only we could find people to take over we'd be long gone .
Our PC did a survey thing and it came out that they were thought of as cliquey - most of them are just like the PTA, done it for years, desperate to escape...
(I do have to say I am amazed in general at the lack of bitchiness in this community though - unless it just goes over my head)

NoComet · 14/11/2013 10:21

Ours wasn't bitchy, within PTA meetings. Everyone who is willing to help gets one just fine. We all knew what we were good at and got on with it.

(This is not to say the PTA are angels, they are not. Some of them are horrific gossips about teachers, parents, pupils and anyone else in the village. Fortunately they don't let this stop them getting the job done.)

Over the years are stalwarts have been both very MC (DCs now at nice private) and more down to earth SAHM and part time working in admin mum's

Only ever had 2 dads one both I suspect graduates, although one having gone PT to do school run.

NoComet · 14/11/2013 10:23

Very difficult area to get Dad's because so many commute. They might make 8pm meetings, but a lot if stuff needs doing just after school

mrsjay · 14/11/2013 10:25

unlucky maybe that is why people think they are so tight knit because it is the same faces year in year out and trying to get people involved , there was no bitchyness in ours just some of the mums liked being pally with the teachers no biggie really if that is what they liked doing although thei dc did get picked for everything

Bramshott · 14/11/2013 10:27

I thought all parents were automatically members of the PTA and there was no need to 'join'??

mrsjay · 14/11/2013 10:28

well they could be automatic members it is just getting them to do anything that was the problem ,

mrsjay · 14/11/2013 10:30

I remember an OUTRAGE from parents as we were having to cancel a school disco at very short notice as we had no supervision well not enough when I asked if anybody was prepared to stay oh lots of tutting and watch looking and umming went on , a few did step forward but..

Unplastered · 14/11/2013 10:38

I would love to join our PTA.
I am a 'joiner-inner' as my DM puts it, and I like to get involved. However the PTA as our school seems to be much geared to only to open to SAHMs or those who only work in school hours. Every meeting is at 3.15pm, or even at 9.15am once! If I wasn't at work till 5 I would join and help like I do with my other community groups.

Mim78 · 14/11/2013 10:39

I'm v wary of taking part in our school association (same thing) because I think it will be bitchy. I am not good at joining in with groups of Mums or organising events. I think I am better off just saying I will help as and when and not trying to be in the cliche!

There are lots of things I would be willing and able to help the school with but these are never asked for. It is usually something like bake a cake or organise a stall and I am bad at those things.

I will be buying dd's raffle tickets myself as I would never get time to go round selling them.

mrsjay · 14/11/2013 10:40

ours was always in the evening I think if you are unhappy about the PTa then you could mention to the HT that you would love to take part but you have to work I think a 3 pm meeting or morning is excluding lots of people

Flip

1 2