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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this is crap advice re: depression?

62 replies

fridayfridayfriday · 13/11/2013 20:59

If only it was that easy.

Was googling about it as need to read about it as my brother is v. depressed but refusing diagnose/treatment. I came across this:

Depression is not real. It is something that exists in people’s minds. It can not be seen or touched or identified by sight or spirit in the real word. It’s all in people’s heads. Psychiatrists, in stereotypical attempts to make what they do look relevant, identify endless causes for depression, and for each cause there is an unnecessarily complex solution. My contention is that there is but one true cause, and it has to do with your centre.

I just feel sad. My career isn’t going well. My kids don’t talk to me. My dad was an alcoholic. I hate my job. I hate my life. I’m fat. I’m ugly. I don’t have many friends. People don’t like me … are the sort of typical comments that we hear from the depressed. Nowhere in there is there a mention of other people. It’s all about you.

As humans we get in this state of sadness over very real psychological issues and we think about them endlessly, feeding them and making them worse than they ever needed to be. This creates emotions and chemical reactions in the body that doctors diagnose as ‘depression’.

Doctors see depression as a chemical imbalance in the brain that causes negative thoughts, but this is not actually the case. There are chemical imbalances, yes, but they are caused by negative thoughts, not the other way around. Doctors will prescribe you medication to correct the chemical imbalances, thinking it will therefore correct your thoughts. What you actually need is to correct your thoughts, and you will in turn correct your chemical imbalances. Think positive and you will feel positive.

Why in poor countries are reported rates of depression significantly less than in western countries? We have everything, they have nothing. You’d think that somebody who doesn't have food for their family would feel pretty fucking depressed, yet no, it’s the western businessman with everything who feels depressed. The superficial reasons could be many, but ultimately it comes down to one thing: the poor man doesn’t have the time to sit there thinking about himself. The poor man spends his time trying to feed himself and/or his family. This gives his daily life meaning, and it removes that infamous word ‘I‘ from his thoughts.

If you’re depressed my advice to you is to stop thinking about what you want, what you don’t have or what others have. Focus on something greater than yourself, be happy for what you have and what you are and cherish it. Remove the word ‘I’ from your vocabulary and you will find a happiness that you haven’t felt since you were a child.

Cherish the smallest moments that life offers, like sitting under a tree on a beautiful day, the breeze against your skin, with not a thought in the world. Remember that by focusing on yourself and your ‘depression’ you’re making life harder on you and on those who love you. They have to deal with your self-inflicted bullshit the same way you do. It’s not fair on you and it’s not fair on them, and at the end of it all, when you do snap yourself out of it and ‘suddenly’ feel better, the truth will come to light. And that truth?

Your depression was all in your head. It wasn't real. You were never actually depressed. You were just being selfish. And if you refuse to admit that you were simply being selfish, then you still are.

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 13/11/2013 21:05

There are people on the internet who believe all sorts of bollocks. Close doctor Google and get some advice from real HCPs.

ReallyTired · 13/11/2013 21:11

There is plenty of crap on the internet as anyone can set up a website.

Poor countries have less depression than the UK becuase there has not been a break down of family structures.

CBT is an effective way to combat mild to moderate depression in many cases. More severe depression requires drugs as therapy is completely ineffectual on its own if you are seriously ill.

LimitedEditionLady · 13/11/2013 21:12

My relative has unipolar disorder and I doubt that was caused by them wanting things etc...
The phsyciatrists drugs and identification of the imbalance have changed their life and I doubt theyd cope without this help.Cherishing anything will help nothing for them so if there is any truth in this then it definately doesnt apply to every person,if any.

puntasticusername · 13/11/2013 21:13

That's a huge pile of steaming shite, is that.

puntasticusername · 13/11/2013 21:15

(the op, that is!)

Heartbrokenmum73 · 13/11/2013 21:15

Total bollocks, OP. Problem is, depression manifests itself differently in different people. When I was diagnosed after DD was born 12 years ago my DP (now my ex) more or less said I didn't have depression (despite the diagnosis coming from Health Visitors and my GP because (and I quote) 'he'd had depression and I wasn't crying all the time like he did'.

Some people don't believe in it full stop and others don't believe it can be as severe as it is for some. I would advise visiting the Mind website. They're the official charity for mental health. Lots of useful advice and links there.

KissesBreakingWave · 13/11/2013 21:16

It's not advice. It's a religious proselytisation pitch for a reiigion with a whole lot of celebrity adherents (who notably google for references to themselves and threaten to sue.) Part of their pitch is about how utterly wrong psychiatry is and how joining them will cure all your mental ills. They like to disguise what they're doing when they trawl for new converts.

pianodoodle · 13/11/2013 21:30

Load of old bollocks. Pretty much saying "Oh cheer up and remember there's always someone worse off" except they've used too many words.

Possibly one of the least helpful things you could say to someone with depression.

Joysmum · 13/11/2013 21:36

Sounds like a great bit of advice for someone who is sad and unfulfilled, not at all applicable to depression though. Depression is way beyond sadness and is chemical imbalances.

lookatmybutt · 13/11/2013 21:37

I have depression and I like trees! It's nice to like trees, but it doesn't help with depression.

That sounds like a load of arse written by a scientologist.

KittensoftPuppydog · 13/11/2013 21:39

Depression is all in the head???. Where else is it supposed to be? In your elbow?

fridayfridayfriday · 13/11/2013 21:39

How can I help my brother when he denies there is a problem? he is at the stage where he thinks his home is bugged, his calls monitored, people, even strangers, are against him etc. He is paranoid and delusional.

I will admit I don't know anything about depression apart from the normal blues that go away after a day or two.

The whole family is worried but we don't know what to do.

He has that vacant look in his eyes. He never listens but just hums and nods and jumps back in the conversation with a completely different subject!

He is not a bad person and I just want my brother back. I don't know why this happened.

How can you convince someone they need help? It's been going on for a while and he is deteriorating to an alarming degree.

OP posts:
Heartbrokenmum73 · 13/11/2013 21:40

lookatmybutt - I was thinking scientology too.

Heartbrokenmum73 · 13/11/2013 21:40

OP, check the Mind website, they can help.

Bluestocking · 13/11/2013 21:44

You know it's utter crap, OP. To take just one point, many poor countries have massively high rates of depression, but very few doctors to formally diagnose it.
Re your unfortunate brother, is he a danger to himself or anyone else? Have you considered having him sectioned?

LunaticFringe · 13/11/2013 21:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LEMisafucker · 13/11/2013 21:53

oh well, thats me sorted then HmmGrin

Of coure its all in my head!! Thats where my fucking brain is - unless my depression come from my liver!

Mylovelyboy · 13/11/2013 21:53

Its absolute crap. People can have many good things in their life, ie family, money, friends, good job etc etc. Depression is something that you cannot control. It is a black cloud that hangs over you and does not go away no matter how many people tell you how fortunate or lucky you are. My cousins ds aged 28 has all the symptoms of your brother. The anguish is has caused not only him but other members of the family is heartbreaking. He has seen mental health professionals and alot of the time he does not turn up for appointments. Unfortunately he is an adult and therefore he has to make the decision himself to get help. Our family have tried all different avenues. With regard to sectioning. It is not as easy as you think. I do not know how to advise you. You can contact all the organisations going ie Mind etc etc but at the end of the day they will tell you that he has to go to these places on his own accord. Very very sad

mrscog · 13/11/2013 21:54

Rubbish advice for depression, some good advice (not all though) if you're feeling a bit down/miserable with stuff. I was very down at one stage of my life and that mindset did help enormously. Unfortunately the writer has confused an illness with feeling miserable.

Really hope your brother gets the help he needs soon and you sound like a lovely sister to him.

Meglet · 13/11/2013 21:55

yes, it's bollocks.

Your brother sounds very poorly. You can see his GP and let him know how worried you are. The GP won't be able to discuss his confidential information but having a relative airing their concerns might make them put more support into place.

dreamingbohemian · 13/11/2013 21:55

OP I don't think your brother is depressed, that sounds much more acute and dangerous.

ouryve · 13/11/2013 21:57

Anyone can write anything on the Internet. It does not make it true.

Ignore and get proper, constructive, face to face help.

Lilacroses · 13/11/2013 21:57

A complete load of bollocks! "It's all in your head" riiiiiiiight! This cannot be someone who has suffered from depression surely?

SeaSickSal · 13/11/2013 22:02

There is a kernel of truth in there. In that CBT can help cure some depression by changing negative patterns of thinking.

But it's not selfish, no.

Aarow · 13/11/2013 22:02

Wtf is that writer on about? I sincerely hope that none of their family/themself are affected by depression.

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