Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this is crap advice re: depression?

62 replies

fridayfridayfriday · 13/11/2013 20:59

If only it was that easy.

Was googling about it as need to read about it as my brother is v. depressed but refusing diagnose/treatment. I came across this:

Depression is not real. It is something that exists in people’s minds. It can not be seen or touched or identified by sight or spirit in the real word. It’s all in people’s heads. Psychiatrists, in stereotypical attempts to make what they do look relevant, identify endless causes for depression, and for each cause there is an unnecessarily complex solution. My contention is that there is but one true cause, and it has to do with your centre.

I just feel sad. My career isn’t going well. My kids don’t talk to me. My dad was an alcoholic. I hate my job. I hate my life. I’m fat. I’m ugly. I don’t have many friends. People don’t like me … are the sort of typical comments that we hear from the depressed. Nowhere in there is there a mention of other people. It’s all about you.

As humans we get in this state of sadness over very real psychological issues and we think about them endlessly, feeding them and making them worse than they ever needed to be. This creates emotions and chemical reactions in the body that doctors diagnose as ‘depression’.

Doctors see depression as a chemical imbalance in the brain that causes negative thoughts, but this is not actually the case. There are chemical imbalances, yes, but they are caused by negative thoughts, not the other way around. Doctors will prescribe you medication to correct the chemical imbalances, thinking it will therefore correct your thoughts. What you actually need is to correct your thoughts, and you will in turn correct your chemical imbalances. Think positive and you will feel positive.

Why in poor countries are reported rates of depression significantly less than in western countries? We have everything, they have nothing. You’d think that somebody who doesn't have food for their family would feel pretty fucking depressed, yet no, it’s the western businessman with everything who feels depressed. The superficial reasons could be many, but ultimately it comes down to one thing: the poor man doesn’t have the time to sit there thinking about himself. The poor man spends his time trying to feed himself and/or his family. This gives his daily life meaning, and it removes that infamous word ‘I‘ from his thoughts.

If you’re depressed my advice to you is to stop thinking about what you want, what you don’t have or what others have. Focus on something greater than yourself, be happy for what you have and what you are and cherish it. Remove the word ‘I’ from your vocabulary and you will find a happiness that you haven’t felt since you were a child.

Cherish the smallest moments that life offers, like sitting under a tree on a beautiful day, the breeze against your skin, with not a thought in the world. Remember that by focusing on yourself and your ‘depression’ you’re making life harder on you and on those who love you. They have to deal with your self-inflicted bullshit the same way you do. It’s not fair on you and it’s not fair on them, and at the end of it all, when you do snap yourself out of it and ‘suddenly’ feel better, the truth will come to light. And that truth?

Your depression was all in your head. It wasn't real. You were never actually depressed. You were just being selfish. And if you refuse to admit that you were simply being selfish, then you still are.

OP posts:
tiredlady · 13/11/2013 23:16

Yes the OPs brother needs to stay in the room during the assessment, but you would be suprised at how skilled the team can be in getting wary people to open up and talk about things, even when they may first appear wholly reluctant.
Don't give up on your brother yet OP. You still have options. Good luck

munchkinmaster · 13/11/2013 23:20

tired lady is on the ball on this one. Listen to her OP. To double check you are in the UK?

As for the quote. Is it from Scientology? I disagree on the emphasis on selfishness and it being easy to shake of depression. I do agree that depression can be caused by a negative spiral of thinking (this is the cbt model) rather than a chemical imbalance. To be honest I don't think that's controversial - most psychiatrists would agree i think

Mylovelyboy · 13/11/2013 23:20

louise you are so right. You can make all the phone calls in the world to all the best professionals. But at the end of the day its unfortunately upto the person that is ill to make the decision to be assessed and actually sit there and tell these people what is actually wrong them Sad really. Most of them are not in the right frame of mind to actually do that. Makes me want to weep Sad

munchkinmaster · 13/11/2013 23:23

Lovely boy I get this is your experience but the op needs to try and I think calling services for help will be a big step, and she needs to think it might be worth it.

For what it's worth. I've seen lots of reluctant patients open up and there is also the simple fact that some people are too unwell to hide it.

Catnap26 · 13/11/2013 23:26

Obviously the writer has never had depression!

MostWicked · 13/11/2013 23:29

Poor people from poor countries who are struggling to feed their families, probably don't go and see a doctor about depression. They don't have that level of basic healthcare. That doesn't mean that they don't suffer from depression, but there would be no meaningful figures.

Just because a problem is in a person's head, it doesn't mean they are not real. Hormones are very real and they affect mood. An imbalance can be corrected with medication. And that makes CBT easier to do.

Mylovelyboy · 13/11/2013 23:33

munch I agree with you totally. She needs to call as many professionals as she can possibly think of. Yes reluctant patients can I am sure open up. But a lot of the time its actually getting the ill person to attend the appointment in the first place and to keep further appointments. My cousins son refuses to go. He has been to a couple and when you think you might be getting somewhere. The follow up appointment is then missed. My cousin cannot physically lift him up and take him. He is in his 20's. Very very frustrating situation.

Bluestocking · 14/11/2013 08:04

Friday, the situation sounds awful. Can I ask if he has sole care of his son either all or part of the time? Does his son's mother live with them? He doesn't sound well enough to be in sole charge of a child.

cory · 14/11/2013 08:04

re the cbt model: its proponents do not actually insist that depression is caused by negative thinking, merely that you can control the impact of it by controlling your thoughts

my dd has been seen by cbt trained professionals over a long period

nobody denies that her physical pain is caused by a chemical imbalance and that this probably accounts for a lot of the anxiety too

just like the lack of physio didn't cause you to break your leg when the car ran over it, but physio can help you recover the use of it

what they have been saying to dd is: using cbt techniques won't cure the cause of your anxiety or pain but it can help to make it more bearable

samandi · 14/11/2013 08:59

Erm, well obviously it's a load of bollocks. Much of the internet is full of the same kind of twaddle written by people with too much time on their hands and no understanding of the topics they write about.

samandi · 14/11/2013 09:00

You do have to wonder what their motivations are sometimes.

mrsjay · 14/11/2013 09:04

My friends brother told her her rheumatic illness wasn't real all she had to do was go to his friend and he would teach her to think positively and it would cure her Shock people have some really bonkers ideas and vocie them in RL and on the internet, it is probably better to google the particular website you are after not some random article, folk are bonkers sometimes,

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread