to be shocked by this little girl

[runningbutnotfastenough]

Picked DD up from school yesterday, only to be confronted by one of DDs' friends' ( i say friend, i mean it in the loosest sense of the word, they are both 7)
she marched up to me and said ' runniing, could i have a word with you in private please' I had DD with me, and her friend who was coming round for tea. I told her no, i couldnt talk to her in private as there was nowhere private, she said ' i want to talk to you about your DDs behaviour, she was mean to me today'
i asked her what had happened and got a garbled thing which made no sense, so i asked if the school had sorted it out at the time, she said yes, so i said ' great, lets leave it at that then'

Questionned DD and the friend in the car, apparently this girl told a dinner lady my DD had said sometihng she hadnt, another friend had backed my DD up and so this girl ( the one that had a word with me) had got told off.

Im just utterly shocked that a 7 year old would come over and speak to me like that.... and would think i would take her ' side' over hers.

How the fuck is asking to speak in private and then saying the OP's dd had been mean 'rude'? The kid's 7 FFs. You are saying anything to try to disagree with me which is ok but I still think you are talking bollocks.

It wasn't rude.

It is rude because the matter had been dealt with in school so she had no need for 'a private word' with the OP.

Context is everything.

Yes, and the context is that she is 7

JONI I totally agree with you, it looks like u are going straight over OP's head Im afraid.
She conceded she has victorian values upthread, strangely then self asserted self as feminist,
The little girl spoke to her assertively and OP took umbridge and is slagging off a 7 yr old....... Eugh.

How is she slagging her off? She has said what happened.

I'd expect, at 7 and with no additional needs, that she should have some manners.

It's a fair point about 'madam' and sexism, which I should have thought of. I can think of lots of what might be termed madam ish behaviour in seven year olds that is amusing or precocious or just annoying, that I have seen, and I think it's something quite seven year oldish really, ime.
I think this girl was a bit of all three, and its quite funny and endearing, and I don't think any talking to - or lying to - the teacher about concerns is needed.

most people think it was rude.

It was rude. It wasnt just what she said, if she had come to me looking upset and wanting to talk about something, thats totally different.

But she didnt.

Bang that Feminazi drum why don't you, while you're at jingle a few bells too so they can all hear the call & come running -

goes of shaking head in fear for the future of feminism because it seems its not the OPs head it goes over, there seems to be an influx of drum bangers that would miss a point if it were sticking up their ass - [rollseyes]

No evidence to me of lack of manners !!!
OP has given many examples of how that Girl with the audacity to ask to speak to her is some school deviant....

It's not rude because she spoke to her - it was how she spoke to her.

I'd be proud of my dc if they ever turn out to be that assertive! Although the reason may be misplaced in this occasion!

i dont think its victorian to have some manners, there was no need for this child to ' have a word in private with me about my dd's behaviour'

shes 7, she doesnt need to address me in this regard, more so as it had been dealt with in school already.

I am not her peer and she doesnt have any say in how i parent my child.

Rude, precocious and self-important little brat, in my book. Even if she is 7 years old.

I say it was handled perfectly. She maybe hoped to humiliate your daughter (people will probably shoot me for that, but no matter).

The child didn't simply speak assertively. Her manners were poor and it was inappropriate to speak to an adult as if she were another adult.
Most children wouldn't do it, and if asked why they wouldn't, they would say that it would be cheeky.

If there was an issue with the OP's dd's behaviour then it'd be the teacher who should speak to her - not a 7 year old.

If she looked upset that would of be ok !!!
Aka if she was subserviant, apologetic, quivering at the knees you would have felt more comfortable with that dynamic ????
Oh well......

running

I think that you talk about her as if she was one of your friends, a contemporary. She is 7 and she doesn't know "the rules". I think that some mums of girls are overly emotionally engaged and judgmental of their girls' friends/classmates

I think Northernlurker said this earlier.

and i am a feminist, thank you very much. Im just not silly enough to turn a playground spat between two girls into the same thing as sexual abuse grooming.

I agree with Joni. I have seen loads of threads where people get enraged when a child is described as a "little shit". While "madam" isn't swearing, how is labeling a child a "little madam" any better? There is an element of sexism both in the description and in criticising a girl for having the confidence to politely address an adult.

YoutheCat

But the 7 year old doesn't know that. She made a mistake. She is 7

Must go know as I am repeating myself.