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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To deny my dd the pet she has wanted for 4 years?

73 replies

jennifersofia · 11/11/2013 23:56

She is very keen to have a rabbit, has been for years. She is a sensitive soul, and conscientious so I know she would look after it, or at least as well as an 11 year old could.
However - I do not want a rabbit. I don't want to pay for one, I don't want to clean out the cage. We have a small garden with no grass, I feel that really we should have 2 rabbits, not one, so it wouldn't be on its own.

I have also heard that rabbits are not great pets - dull and scratchy, which I don't feel is encouraging.
I feel like I am failing her by denying her something that she wants very much. Another type of pet such as a guinea or hamster just won't do.
AIBU?

OP posts:

BigArea · 12/11/2013 00:01

My vet friends said a rabbit is the worst possible pet in terms of health problems, biting, scratching, chewing, digging.... the list goes on. I actually don't think you are being unreasonable at all unless she is old enough to do the work herself. We have guinea pigs now and they are lovely, but I got them because I was happy to look after them myself.

foreverondiet · 12/11/2013 00:03

My DD is 10 and wants a dog. She can want and want. She went to the dog show at earls court yesterday with her Dad (DH) and told everyone there about her mean mummy who won't let her have a dog.

But I don't want a dog, as I don't want to pay for the food, the vet or take it for walks. She is a child. When she is an adult she can get herself a dog.

You are only being unreasonable for feeling a need to ask strangers.

thegreylady · 12/11/2013 00:05

We bought our 10 year old dgd a rabbit for her birthday after 2 years of pleading. Her parents bought the hutch . The rabbit is now a much loved family member. She lives inside as well as out and uses a litter tray. Dgd's birthday was in May and her interest hasn't flagged. She does all the work herself.

hottiebottie · 12/11/2013 00:11

I agree - never really seen the attraction of rabbits, as they just sit there and...well...sit there. Now Syrian hamsters, on the other hand, are friendly little critters that interact with humans - they'll scamper over to the corner of the cage when they see you, in anticipation of a treat and possibly a cuddle. I generally get more sense out of our hamster than everyone else in the house put together.

Seriously though, if she's been that keen for that long and you know she'll look after it, then maybe now's the time? Pets are great for teaching children about taking responsibility. My only concern (and I'm no expert on bunnies) is the lack of grass. The rabbits I've known like to have some exercise in an extended run on grass - not sure if this is the same for all breeds, though.

uselessinformation · 12/11/2013 00:17

Rabbits need a lot of room and they don't really like being cuddled. I know someone will say 'oh mine likes cuddles' but really they have their own personalities and you can't guarantee it. They are more intelligent than people think and they like to stretch out flat like a cat. (ours in front of the fire!) They chew wires and they can jump high. They can use a litter tray and ours sits looking at his bowl waiting for his food when it is time. They can drop dead from stress. The adults of the household need to be prepared to look after it.

Rosencrantz · 12/11/2013 00:18

It's not your child's house, it's yours. You get to choose what lives in it.

I was denied a dog throughout my childhood. Did me no harm. Bought a dog when I got my own house. Love him so much more because he was decades in the making.

uselessinformation · 12/11/2013 00:25

Also they don't like to be hunched up in a cage all of the time. They will 'just sit there's and be grumpy if they have no room to move and stretch out. If you spend time watching them you get to know their little personalities. we got ours when my son was 11 but it is a family pet and he just lets it be. He is nervous about handling animals but the rabbit likes him best! They suit each other!

expatinscotland · 12/11/2013 00:28

Rabbits are little shits! I'm so with you, hottie, Our Syrian has so much personality.

Weegiemum · 12/11/2013 00:36

We've got a fantastic house rabbit, but I wouldn't recommend it.

Speedy MacReadie came to us as his second rescue home, as we'd had rabbits in the past. He needed lots of settling in about 14 months ago, and he formed a very strong bond with dd1, who is now 13. So strong that he learned to climb up to her loft bed (coming down didn't work so well!).

He's free range in the house, has a litter try he (mainly) uses, can go through the (newly installed, for him) cat flap into a safe, fully enclosed garden.

We don't pick him up unless he's happy (no chasing or scrabbling for him) and he often voluntarily sleeps on our bed in the sun (dd1 keeps her door shut but he still adores her, sleeps in front of her door at night!).

We have girl guinea pigs - they're never in with him, he's so much bigger, but he likes to lie beside their run in the garden.

I must impress : this is a very unusual rabbit. Especially as a 2x rescue. Most of it is down to him being so madly in love with dd1!

Guinea pigs are fab, but do get a pair (we actually have 6, 3x sibling pairs). My ds is 11 and is devoted to his piggie-girl. They love cuddles, they talk to you, they can be well tamed to not hiding - though I love our Speedy rabbit, my heart truly belongs to the Guinea pigs (my lovely big girls Sosua and Cabarete) who I was surprised with on Mothers Day in 2011!

Weegiemum · 12/11/2013 00:39

Expats comment on Rabbits might be down to Speedy ignoring her when she was here. He hates visitors!! Either hides under the sofa or sprays on them!

See, rabbits are not great!

sparklysilversequins · 12/11/2013 00:46

I had a house rabbit too . He was just fab. A big one with lop ears. He had a cage but used it as his litter tray and just lolloped around the flat all day long. He seemed very happy tbh, very affectionate and loving. He would jump up on the sofa and lie full length beside me, licking my arm if he felt so inclined. He was a lovely boy.

Raddy · 12/11/2013 00:46

That rabbit sounds amazing, Weegiemum!

Weegiemum · 12/11/2013 01:14

Speedy sounds like sparklys rabbit - down to the lop!

But it's a hit and miss, I'd not bet on it!

Mogz · 12/11/2013 04:04

Rabbits are great pets, for adults with a lot of time, space and money. They are most certainly NOT good pets for children.
Why does your DD want one OP? Perhaps you could get her to do some research about their behavioural and habitat needs to show her it's not a sensible option right now.
Do you have a rescue centre near by that she could help out at once or twice a month so she can spend time caring for them (and finding out just how much the little beggars poop! And how jolly hard they can kick when you have to do something they don't want, like trim teeth or nails) and learning about other small animals too?

SecretLimonadeDrinker · 12/11/2013 04:26

Weegie and sparkle, your buns sound fab!

We have 2 bunnies, one is a rescue, they are fab but hard work, they hutch is huge and they have free rein of the garden and a cat flap into the conservatory. I've always had pets growing up but do think hamsters are a great first pet as they are. Much easier pet iykwim. Def second the idea of helping out at a rescue centre if pos or looking after someone bunnies whilst they are on holiday if you can.

BlackholesAndRevelations · 12/11/2013 05:41

If you don't want one, don't get one! End of! It's a big responsibility looking after an animal (in addition to your children! ) Animals remain entirely dependent, whereas kids grow up, too, so you might end up holding the bunny while she goes out with friends/has a life of her own.

Like pps have said- she can get what she wants when she moves out.

rabbitlady · 12/11/2013 05:46

i have four rabbits. they are seven and a half years old and could go on for another ten years.
they live in the house. they have destroyed carpets, wallpaper, vacuum cleaners, the music centre, anything with a wire etc...

do n o t get rabbits for your child.

ever.

they are 'exotic' pets, according to vets, and cost a fortune to keep properly.

i love my rabbits. if i didn't, they'd be ex, former, departed rabbits by now.

sussexmum38 · 12/11/2013 06:20

We resisted for years on a rabbit. Gave in on the basis they would look after it. The thing scratched, bit and if course we did all the work. Had to give away in the end. No more pets.

expatinscotland · 12/11/2013 09:03

No, Weegie, SIL had The Rabbit from Hell. His name should have been Chopper.

hyenafunk · 12/11/2013 09:33

I wasn't allowed pets when I was a kid as much as I begged because my M didn't like animals (always concerned for people who dislike animals ). And yes I felt like I missed out. We had a pet day in school and I was so upset I didn't have one to take along. I was allowed the odd fish but they died within days so were absolutely pointless. My mum did cave when I was about ten and allowed my Dad to get me a hamster but I hated it because it always bit and then it died after a few months.

I finally got a cat for my thirteenth birthday and I absolutely doted on him. My M proclaimed to hate him but I think she secretly had a soft spot, she nursed him back to health after he had a bad incident where a dog bit into his back end anyway and paid off the vet debt for months. Then he ran away three years later .

So I don't have much luck with pets! . I love animals though and when my DC are older plan on getting at least one. Rabbits aren't my favourite as pets though, I do believe they're better in the wild. I don't think they're the biggest fans of humans tbh, probably due to the fact some people still put them in pies...

ZooTimeIsSheAndYouTime · 12/11/2013 09:38

I think it's a shame she can't have a pet I see what you mean about a rabbit not being very interactive though. We thought about getting a rabbit or guinea pigs for dd2 but couldn't see much point in a pet that'd be huddled outside mainly. So we got (another) cat. Now a cat is a magnificent pet

Normalisavariantofcrazy · 12/11/2013 10:17

We have rabbits and they take more time care and attention than a dog does.

Saying that. They are lovely pets, as long as you neuter them, keep them paired, and don't over handle them.

We keep ours on the patio due to their habitual digging.

Rescuing is cheaper than buying as they come neutered and vaxed

teenagetantrums · 12/11/2013 10:18

We had rabbits when i was younger, i believe my poor mum ended up looking after them when we became teenagers, my kids have had gerbils and hamsters and we have two cats that are technically theirs, however when i got the pets i knew i would have to be ultimately responsible or them, that's fine. We still have one hamster that my teenage son deals with but i have to buy its food and sawdust ect. Dont get her a pet unless you don't mind looking after them If you want two rabbits though my friend has two that she is looking to get rid off, they are only 6 months old but her kids have lost interest and she does not like them very much.

hellsbells99 · 12/11/2013 10:21

We have 2 rabbits. They seem to have lived forever. My DDs are now teenagers and have lost interest in them. We also have cats. They are much better pets and take minimal looking after. They give lots of affection too.

lottieandmia · 12/11/2013 10:22

The main thing about deciding to buy your child a pet is that you have to accept that you will be the one to clean it out when you take it on. And if you don't want to do that then don't.

I would agree with others that rabbits are not good pets for children. They are actually quite complex and intelligent animals and can go a bit crazy if they don't have the right input. Guinea pigs are much better (we have two girls) but they do require cleaning out. I am happy to do this and it only takes me about 20 minutes.

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