To deny my dd the pet she has wanted for 4 years?

[jennifersofia]

She is very keen to have a rabbit, has been for years. She is a sensitive soul, and conscientious so I know she would look after it, or at least as well as an 11 year old could.
However - I do not want a rabbit. I don't want to pay for one, I don't want to clean out the cage. We have a small garden with no grass, I feel that really we should have 2 rabbits, not one, so it wouldn't be on its own.

I have also heard that rabbits are not great pets - dull and scratchy, which I don't feel is encouraging.
I feel like I am failing her by denying her something that she wants very much. Another type of pet such as a guinea or hamster just won't do.
AIBU?

My friend, who works in animal care has had five rabbits. None of them have survived past a year. Two got eaten by a fox who got into the cage and spread their entrails across the garden, one burrowed under the cage and escaped, one was accidentally poisoned by the neighbour's child and one was too small to survive.

I always had a soft spot for rabbits, so offered to look after some of them when she was on holiday. I have to say the experience wasn't as great as I thought it would be - I found them to be extremely nervous creatures, despite their loving owner. They literally trembled every time I tried to show them affection.

I changed their straw every day too, even though my friend said I didn't need to do it that frequently, because the smell was bad and quite frankly, I wouldn't relish sitting in my own shit, so why should they?

The experience put me off having rabbits.

Aaw expat our last hamster was black and white. We started off giving her the nickname of Panda, but then she became a Badger (she was quite badger ish in looks).

Hamsters bring something out in me. They make me call them weird names. The last one, aside from Badger/Panda, was called Podge regularly and I'd talk to her in a funny voice (This probably shows a lot about me and my sanity).

Your DD2 sounds very helpful!

Arrow, we have a tradition of naming our Syrians people names you probably wouldn't give a person. :)

We just changed out her bedding.

I had never seen a black Syrian. DH spotted her in the cage and was like, 'There's a black one!' Well, had to talk DD2 round, as naturally she wanted one that looked just like her deceased hammy, but they were all males and the second the employee went in, Frances woke right up.

Aw!

They are just lovely pets for an older child and easy to socialise. Love how she greets us and fun to watch, too.

I agree expat

Our first hamster was called Rudolph, does that count as a person name you wouldn't name a person?

We found out we were related to the man who brought back the Syrian hamster to the UK. Then we found out we'd made a mistake tracing the family tree and he was nothing to do with us We were so excited.

just as a random fact, all Syrian hamsters are descended from one female and her litter who were found in the wild a long time ago.

They were found in the wild by that bloke who isn't related to Aarow!

I love house rabbits when they "THUMP!" on the floor and then do a massive dash round the house, so funny.

I agree with Stumpetron. They are fab pets if allowed to be and definitely as house rabbits. Imo Lops are by far the most gentle natured as well, I have never met one that wasn't gentle and affectionate

I have. My lop is a bitch

We gave our hamsters people names too. We've had:
Dean
Dave
Chris
Steve (my fave)
Plus some more pet type names including Vlad, Fat Mish and Rhino.

Get a cat OP. They are the best pets!

I had a rabbit as a child and although he was 8 weeks when we got him he was never tame enough to handle. On one occasion my dad had to pick him up and he kicked out with a back leg and opened my dad's arm up from wrist to elbow.

I have also known the odd soppy rabbit but I wouldn't like to chance tbh.

After much nagging from 9yo DD we acquired a pair of female guinea pigs recently. After much discussion they were the only pets that we could agree on and that were practical. I was never a big fan as a child and thought they'd be really boring tbh.

I couldn't have been more wrong! They are ridiculously cute and each has their own very distinctive personality. In 6 weeks they've totally become part of the family - even DH is besotted .

Have you tried taking her to the local pretty shop to look at the rabbits and GP's? Ours were fantastic with lots of support and advice and handling workshops before we committed to getting ours.

Local pet shop!

Will also add that DD is only just 9 - the GPs were her birthday pressie - and she has been fantastic so far at looking after them.

She goes out every morning first thing to check and feed them even though it's got cold and dark since they arrived. I've only been allowed to clean them out once. They also come indoors for a bit most days and she'll pack their run away and hoover up after them.

My soppy rabbit booted me in a similar way and I've still got the scars! He just got far too excited about going back into his hutch after a cuddle and was kicking out

Mine did the 'love purr'. We thought she was a girl up until this point... then she squirted some funny stuff on my dog

The dog and rabbit were best of friends, she used to try and eat from his bowl and she'd chase him around despite him being massive.

Thanks for the helpful replies. It has helped me to feel less guilty! She is especially fixated on rabbits - we used to have a guinea, but it wasn't a very good experience, to be honest. We aren't allowed a cat or a dog (rental property). Perhaps I will look into Syrians, or maybe re-ask the landlord. I really do think she would look after it, but I just don't think it would be fair to the rabbit (or to me!).

If you do decide to go for a small animal please don't buy one from a pet shop.

No decent, caring breeder would let their animals go to a shop where they can be bought on a whim.

Rabbits are the most neglected of the small pets
For all the reasons listed above- the size of hutches they are put in
Owners not realising how much space they need
Being kept in solitary care
They can be bitey

We have two guinea-pig boars (actually belong to DD but we share the care. I clean , she feeds. We all cuddle. ) they are fabulous but hard enough work

Rabbits are lovely pets if you put in the time to make sure they're socialised well with humans and get plenty of attention to build up a proper bond. Yes, it's better if they live in pairs, but if you spend lots of time with them then they can live quite happily on their own.

We had a rabbit who was just lovely, more like a little dog than a rabbit, iyswim. We used to let him have the run of the garden and we would leave the back door open so he could come into the house to see us whenever he wanted. He loved being with us and would follow us around the garden, and sit with us for snuggles. He died a few years ago at a ripe old age and I still think of him fondly from time to time when something brings him to mind.

Rabbits aren't good pets for young children but they're great pets for older children. The problems start because people expect them to live happily while stuck in a hutch all the time without exercise and without attention from their owners. A little bit of effort will give them a lovely life and make them much better companions.

I think there is a special happiness that comes from having an animal friend, particularly for sensitive children. If it were me, I would get her a pair of rabbits from a rescue, or one rabbit with a view to lots of attention from her, every day. But I love animals anyway and would have a house full if I could.

I wouldn't recommend a hamster, tbh. They are SO loud at night, running on those hamster wheels, and they are definitely a useless pet in terms of what you get back from them. Not worth the effort or the money, IME. But I suspect that it depends on how much time you spend building up a relationship with them. I just couldn't handle all the noise at night, it used to keep my girls up. They don't live all that long, though, 18 mos - 2 years, I think, so at least it's not a long-term commitment.

If you want a good small pet, get a couple of rats. They are very cute, very smart and will really engage with you. Males are better than females, more docile and not quite as inquisitive and 'busy'. Females do make great pets, too, though.

If you hate the idea of having a pet, and will resent having to be ultimately responsible for it as the adult of the household, then of course I wouldn't recommend you get one. But if you're just unsure that it would add anything to your daughter's life and happiness, then maybe it's worth reconsidering as I believe it could greatly enhance her overall contentment.

My daughter is the same age as yours and the same long fixation about rabbits too.

I don't want another one (hubby and I had a number of rescues, all our animals are rescues, before she was born).

I don't feel guilty about that at all. My house, ultimate responsibility and therefore my decision. No big deal

Sorry, I got carried away with thinking how lovely my rabbits are and didn't really answer the question.

No, you're not being unreasonable to avoid getting a pet if you're not keen on the idea. It's really something that the adult of the household has to be committed to, no matter how much the children want it, otherwise it's not fair to the animal.

Also I just re-read and realised I didn't have very good comprehension skills this morning. That's what happens when I read before breakfast! I'm sure you know what's best for your household, and lots of animals suffer because parents give in against their better judgement, so of course your decision is the right one. And your daughter will be ok. I want a dog very badly but I can't have one right now, and I'm ok

My sister had a lovely rabbit, very friendly, loved cuddles etc but......

he cost an absolute fortune in vets fees and food due to health issues. He ended up having all of his teeth removed so had to have a special diet, had something wrong with his kidneys and was all in all a very expensive pet. She has since had 2 more rabbits and while they are health (or appear to be at the moment) they are totally different in personality, dont like being fussed and are not what I would consider as suitable pets for a child, thankfully DSis doesnt have children.

The question isnt "Is she old enough for a pet?" or whether you a denying her something. The question is "Am I prepared to do everything required to give this pet a good life?" Many children do end up losing interest and you would be left with caring for it. I am not prepared to take care of a pet, so we dont have one despite my children begging. I tell them that when they are adults in their own homes they can have as many pets as they like! Saying yes to a child when the parent isnt committed to caring for the animal is why rescue centres are over run.

I used to have a house rabbit and he was a wonderful character but he was not an easy pet. He had the run of the house with the cats and dogs (everyone got on really well), used his litter tray but chewed a lot of things. His favourite chew were live electric wires (eeek!) and he would play with me by stearing at me working at the computer and then as soon as I would look away he would run over bite the computer cable and run off! He was very bright but not particularl cuddly, e.g. he would sit on the other side of the sofa but not on my lap. He had a harness and lead and would go for walks in the garden. Because he was long haired he needed a lot of brushing which he hated so that was not fun.

He also had company but he outlived two good friends and the third rabbit I got him hated his guts. I had to keep them separate but one day she managed to get into his area and kill him which was extremely sad. He was 10 years old but I think he could have lived a lot longer.

Pain in the arse for you when she gets bored of it. I used to ask my parents for a rabbit all the time. My dad used to say "My mate Bob will get you a rabbit" (Bob was into shooting and would've got me a [dead] rabbit using his gun). Glad my parents didn't cave now as I know I'd have lost interest. Don't bother.