It's the bullying. The horrible nature that so many teens have these days. the need to pick on people who are a bit 'different' or who don't comply with what's considered 'cool'.
My friend's son has just started his first year of high school in August. He's 12yo and 6ft. He is i suppose 'quirky'. But not a spiteful bone in his body. He used to do kickboxing for two years, (my friend wanted him to learn some self defense after being horribly bullied at primary school) but gave it up before starting high school.
He loves high school. He has enrolled in several lunchtime clubs such as chess, computer and quiz club. And he's signed up for gym club once a week after school. He loves having different classes/subjects every day, and loves learning new things.
However, since his first week he's had names hurled at him while walking through the corridors. Such as 'giant', 'freak', 'gay', 'geek' and other much cruder things.
He's taken this on the chin. But after a few weeks, it started getting violent. people throwing bits of food at him in the canteen. People tripping him up in the corridors. Then it started getting really violent when walking home from school. Children would arrange 'fights' with him then call him a 'pussy' for not turning up at the designated time/place.
So then the fights started taking place at intervals/lunchtimes/walking to classes.
He never initiates the fights, as teachers point out to my friend, but he does defend himself.
Last week, someone (a boy who used to bully him at primary) ran up to him and smacked him across the head with a full can of juice. Friend's son grabbed the boy as he was running away, lifted him up, then threw him back onto the ground. He hurt his head of the wall, but no serious damage.
Friend's son was giving a detention that day during which he had to write 'I must not fight', and state what he has learned from his actions and why he must not do it again.
My friend is livid of course. The bully got the same punishment. She feels that her son was just defending himself. What else was he supposed to do? She has warned the teachers that she knows her son is an easy target and bullying might be an issue. She has told them that she does not agree to any more detentions until she's spoken to the HT about this.
She has been given an appointment for 2 weeks time.
This town only has two high school. there used to be 6, but they've all been knocked down and merged into 2 recently. And both are as bad as each other to be honest. Neither of them handle bullying well. And friend can't move out of the area for another school. And the next nearest one is much too far (1hr 45 minutes to get there). So she's basically got to put up with this for the next 5-6 years.
Her son assures her that he's fine. And that it doesn't bother him. And that he isn't scared etc.
This bullying issue is one that occurs in almost every high school. I'm absolutely terrified for my dd already. In 5 years time, it'll be her turn to go to one of these horrible schools. Even if i've moved out of the area by then, it'll likely just be the same regardless of what school she attends. High school is bloody awful. Really bloody awful.
Why the hell do bullies bully in the first place? Why is it still seen as such a non-issue? Why can't parents teach their children to be civil to their peers? Why can't school staff nip things in the bud before they escalate?
i really am terrified. 