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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think that people should have been quiet for 2 minutes

42 replies

TwoTearsInABucket · 10/11/2013 23:22

in the supermarket at 11am this morning?

I was with my two DCs in the supermarket and there were two announcements, first one at 10.45am, about observing the 2 minute silence at 11am.

At 11am most people stopped but there were quite a few who carried on shopping (couldn't see that they were making a point or anything), talking loudly and then looking confused when they saw people stopped and not talking.

Could they not have thought about it, stopped shopping and shut up for two minutes?

OP posts:

GandalfsPointyHat · 10/11/2013 23:25

We were at a coffee shop in a garden centre, i asked the waitress when we ordered at the counter if they were diing anything at 11, she said not to worry, there wouldbe a tannoy announcement to remind us. Was mortified to realise people coming back from a little huddle/ gatering just outside the restaurant, looked at clock and realised we missed the whole thing :( we also chatted and ate cake right through it. I felt so ashamed. Perhaps they just didn't realise...

Joysmum · 10/11/2013 23:27

I will pay my respects how I see fit, just like I don't need to visit a grave to be thinking about loved ones I've lost.

Tbh, I've been feeling pretty uncomfortable with the thought police and lack of freedom for people to mark or not mark armistice day as they want.

...and for the record, I do support it. I just am very uncomfortable with the level of thought policing.

BruthasTortoise · 10/11/2013 23:28

I always thought the two minutes silence was at 11 on the 11th? I personally don't observe it but in would stay quiet for the sake of others that do. Maybe they didn't realise? Or maybe they were just rude.

KerwhizzedMyself · 10/11/2013 23:29

Not everybody will understand it. I've lived abroad and didnt automatically know all the traditions etc so maybe the people you saw today didn't know for similar reasons.

MistAllChuckingFrighty · 10/11/2013 23:30

To be fair, if you feel so strongly about it why weren't you at a Remembrance Day Service instead of shopping in a supermarket ?

You can't have it both ways

xCupidStuntx · 10/11/2013 23:30

Agree with Joysmum 100%

Original poster

TwoTearsInABucket · 10/11/2013 23:31

I did wonder if people were doing it on purpose, but I don't think they were. Fair enough if they didn't notice but some did, looked embarrassed and carried on anyway.

I didn't see it as being the thought police, just as a reminder that it was 11am and the supermarket were marking the occasion.

OP posts:

AngelsLieToKeepControl · 10/11/2013 23:33

^ what mist said. Some people would find it disrespectful that you were even at the supermarket. It's down to individual choice, as long as you are happy with the way you chose to pay your respects then I really wouldn't worry about anyone else.

Original poster

TwoTearsInABucket · 10/11/2013 23:33

I don't feel strongly about it, but if it is being requested then I will observe it.

OP posts:

usernameunknown · 10/11/2013 23:34

I remember sitting in a cafe on Remembrance Sunday one year and the group of hungover lads next to us were laughing and saying 'oh wow it's like a zombie invasion here with all these silent people staring at us, what are they all doing hahahahaha'. It took about 1 minute and 50 seconds for one of them to realise and shut the others up! Awkward

BackforGood · 10/11/2013 23:35

I go to a Remembrance service every year - always have, so I do think it's important, but I think it's almost become a 'fashion' in recent times and this new(in Modern times, I know it used to happen just after the wars) thing of having a silence wherever you go doesn't sit comfortably with me.
For example, my dd had a football match on Sat morning. It was cold, raining, and - er - it was a football match, on Sat 9th. It wasn't the 11th, it was the 9th. I was cross they made all the players stand getting cold for that silence before the football match. Yes, I know soldiers in the trenches stood for hours in the rain, etc.,etc., but my dc and I do take the time to think about that on 11th November, and also we opt in to going to a Remembrance service on the nearest Sunday.
I'm not comfortable with several silences being forced onto people as they try to go about their business.

jellyboatsandpirates · 10/11/2013 23:36

That could have been me a couple of years ago. Out shopping with someone in town, didn't know the time and we entered a small shop chattering away, looking at stuff.
Didn't click why the only two people in the shop were stood silent and carried on talking.
Only when we went to pay afterwards did the shopkeeper say it was the silence and that's why the two were silent,
We were absolutely MORTIFIED and couldn't stop apologising, I remember saying you should have SAID, or given a signal or something (point at your watch or something!)
Wondered why the two were giving us evil eyes, just put them down as strange.
They must have thought we were disrespectful too.
We really aren't. I ALWAYS observe the silence and wear my poppy with pride.
Maybe they just didn't realise like we didn't. I never shop now if there's a silence due!

jellyboatsandpirates · 10/11/2013 23:38

That was a random weekday one, think it was a Wednesday or something,so not automatically obvious Sunday silence!

Original poster

TwoTearsInABucket · 10/11/2013 23:44

I don't remember it not being observed wherever you were on remembrance sunday. Not sure why anyone would do it on another day, unless it was 11th November.

Fair point about going to a remembrance service if I feel that strongly about it.

Maybe I just felt embarrassed myself for people who sounded like they were talking so blinking loudly about pasta.

OP posts:

MistAllChuckingFrighty · 10/11/2013 23:46

I get the sentiment of extending the 2 min silence to everything but fail to see why and how it can be reasonably expected nor policed

everything in it's place, I say

go o a Remembrance Day Service next year, you will be moved and touched and it is nothing like shutting your gob for 2 minutes in Sainsbury's, I promise you

MistAllChuckingFrighty · 10/11/2013 23:47

*to

thebody · 10/11/2013 23:51

ah well arnt we the lucky ones to be able to discuss this. or anything really.

arnt we the lucky free and alive ones?

KeemaNaanAndCurryOn · 10/11/2013 23:54

I always thought it was 2 mins silence at 11am on the 11th day.

So there you go.

Bunbaker · 11/11/2013 00:08

"I always thought it was 2 mins silence at 11am on the 11th day."

Originally it was, but Remembrance Sunday is also observed.

In fact I think it is only recently that it has been kept on the 11th of November. I don't remember stopping what I was doing on 11th November at school or work back in the 70s and 80s.

I don't get why people think they are being persecuted by the thought police. If most people want to observe the 2 minutes silence I think it is disrespectful of others to be noisy.

For the record both my parents served this country in WW2 - my dad was in the RAF and my mum was with the Free French. I feel it is my privilege and duty to pay tribute to those who lost their lives during all the conflicts our country has been involved in (whether I agree with the conflicts is another matter).

I suspect that those who couldn't care less are several generations away from anyone who was involved in the war.

FortyDoorsToNowhere · 11/11/2013 00:13

I would love it if 11/11 was a bank holiday and has the same trading policy like Easter Sunday.

I will do the 2 minute silence tomorrow on the actual date and not on a Sunday.

ToysRLuv · 11/11/2013 02:15

I don't think that the several family members we have lost in the wars would be bothered about a 2min silence in Sainsbury's. That said, I don't think it's a bad thing, and will keep quiet.

ToysRLuv · 11/11/2013 02:18

Ah, actually, DS is going to pre-school tomorrow. I wonder whether they are going to do the silence.. Maybe the primary is?

Morloth · 11/11/2013 07:07

Poor DS2 was properly freaked out at the shops today at 11am.

Here in Oz though we only do it at 11 on the 11th.

The eeriness is part of it I think. The way everyone stands and stops and the music plays.

For just a moment we all shut up and think.

BlackholesAndRevelations · 11/11/2013 07:12

The primary where I work does, the caretaker rings a bell. I think foundation stage only have to try and be quiet for one minute as they're still so young and it won't mean anything to them anyway.

I was working in a shop on 9/11 and the day they did the 2 min silence for 9/11 victims, I was horrified to see people flicking through CDs loudly and just getting on with their shopping despite the announcement (they didn't just walk in and find everyone silent). So what if you don't want to observe the silence; respect those who do.

So, yanbu.

chocoshopoholic · 11/11/2013 07:17

I went to Manchester's service yesterday. If you want disrespectful try Metrolink, they drowned out the last post with announcements about cancelled trams due to the service in the square.

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