Totally agree with Hissy
My toxic in laws have treated H terribly for no reason that we could see. When pushed, his mother said that the reason she insisted the whole family boycott our wedding was because the invitations were black, so that proved we didnt want her there.
Nope, we couldnt work that one out either!
Toxic people have personality issues that mean that they simply do not see other people in the way that you or I do. They do not accept that anyone else has thoughts or feelings that should be considered.
Often the person who is the victim of the toxic family is the person who threatens them and their insular view of the world. My H for example did not want to live on the same street as his mother and siblings, as he mother insisted he should, he did not want to do the job she was pushing him into, did not learn to drive when she said he should (after forging his signature to apply for his provisional for him!). He moved away, got a different career and then some years later, married the wrong person (the wrong person being anyone he married who wasnt a dd of one of his mums friends, so I as a divorced mother was never going to be approved of).
They have cut off every member of their extended family, many many friends and their treatment of H and me has caused the few that were still involved to cut them off. But they are still in the right......
So the fact that OP has been excluded is more likely to be because she has a mind of her own and challenges the little bubble that they have created where they are right and everyone else is wrong. In a weird way, being the victim of the toxics is actually a compliment because they know that you are better than them and cant cope with that!