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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Housework should be split 2/7th to 5/7th

68 replies

Sleepyhoglet · 09/11/2013 17:46

According to my dh housework should be split 2/7th and 5/7 ths with him doing less. He works away during the week so thinks as I am in the house on weekday evenings I should do considerably more . Like him I work full time so am only at home during the evening. This week I did about 4/5 hours of housework during the evenings. I was really cross when he disturbed my lie in today saying I needed to get up and join him doing house work. He doesn't think it fair that he should have to do housework at the weekend if I am not. Who is being unreasonable ?

OP posts:
Jinty64 · 09/11/2013 17:52

Not enough information. What is he doing with his week day evenings? How many children do you have and what ages? What else do you do at the weekends? For a start.

kim147 · 09/11/2013 17:54

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NoArmaniNoPunani · 09/11/2013 17:56

How much housework needs to be done in the week if he's not there?

Tee2072 · 09/11/2013 17:56

And where does he get that figure? The 7 intrigues me.

You both deserve a break and you both should do some housework. Not sure of the split.

strruglingoldteach · 09/11/2013 18:00

I believe in the idea that you should aim for equal leisure time, equal lie-ins etc. So it depends what he does on weekday evenings. If he works long hours, I think it's reasonable to expect you to get some housework done so that you keep your weekends as free as possible. However, if he has his evenings free, he's out of order expecting you to spend yours cleaning.

Also, he is definitely being unreasonable to expect you to get out of bed if you don't have to- you could do your fair share later.

WowOoo · 09/11/2013 18:02

I think he is BU. You work full time and do the house work in the week when he is away.
So, you should do some to help on weekends but he should do maybe 60% to compensate for the time out of the home and to make it more even and fair. he doesn't do any Mon-Fri I assume. You both work long hours and you both need a rest though. Tricky.
(We had a similar 'discussion' yesterday about housework and who does their fair share if it makes you feel better.)

kim147 · 09/11/2013 18:04

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Original poster
Sleepyhoglet · 09/11/2013 18:04

7 days in the week hence fraction being ?/7. He lives away during the week. Housework includes tidying. No children.

OP posts:
Original poster
Sleepyhoglet · 09/11/2013 18:05

I would like to go out at the weekend but he wants to sort out the house ( but only with my help)

OP posts:
SolidGoldBrass · 09/11/2013 18:06

Yes, the formula for housework fairness is all the adults in the household have the same amount of leisure time. If you have been doing housework in the evenings all week, though, that surely means that you do none at the weekend, because he's had all his weekday evenings free.

(Also, housework beyond the minimum is a fucking waste of time and effort anyway. Most women do far too much and it's not that good for the environment, as well as being lousy for their mental health and happiness.)

ChazDingle · 09/11/2013 18:06

he's worked it out wrong if you are there 7 days and he's there two days you should be doing 7/9 and he should be doing 2/9

Original poster
Sleepyhoglet · 09/11/2013 18:07

I was really upset with him seeming not to appreciate what I do when he is not there. He has been kinder but hasn't apologised to me

OP posts:
Original poster
Sleepyhoglet · 09/11/2013 18:08

Also we got a house bug infestation so I had to do an awful lot of hoovering during the week and washing.

OP posts:
ConcreteElephant · 09/11/2013 18:10

Crikey - how much housework do you have? Two adults in the home, one out of the house all week, one out all day...

I agree with PP who said you should aim for equal leisure time. That said, if he's away in the week it might be nice to try to keep weekends as free as possible to spend time together? I can't imagine any housework being so urgent as to require you to lose your lie-in though...does he not fancy a lie-in too?

kim147 · 09/11/2013 18:10

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NoArmaniNoPunani · 09/11/2013 18:11

Aside from the bug infestation I don't see how you can create that much housework if it's only you living there in the week and you are out at work all day.

ConcreteElephant · 09/11/2013 18:11

Oh, that's harsh to make you do more this weekend when you've clearly had a much heavier week, with the infestation clean-up.

kitsmummy · 09/11/2013 18:15

Huh? No children and only 1 person at home during the week? This sounds like a big fuss over nothing.

But actually, yes you should both clean at the weekend. Don't do any during the week if it bothers you that much (apart from the basics like keeping the kitchen decent etc. god I wish I had problems like this...

kim147 · 09/11/2013 18:16

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Bluecarrot · 09/11/2013 18:17

I was fully backing you as I know with kids that a fair amount of housework is just putting right what the children leave behind, and this takes time away from bigger things.

I think with no kids though, unless you have health issues, you should be able to clean up after yourself during the week and keep it presentable. then tackle bigger jobs ( vacuuming whole house, cutting the lawn, deep cleaning a room, decorating) together in an hour or two on a Saturday morning

PenguinsDontEatPancakes · 09/11/2013 18:17

His maths is really rather dodgy. 2/7ths, 5/7ths makes no sense. If it is based on days around, you are around 7 days and he is around 2, so it's a fraction of 9. You 7/9th and him 2/9th. Surely?

PenguinsDontEatPancakes · 09/11/2013 18:18

Oh, and what everyone else said.

Jinty64 · 09/11/2013 18:18

Don't do any during the week then you can both do the same amount at the weekend. With just the two of you 2-3 hours over the weekend should do it unless you live in a castle.

kim147 · 09/11/2013 18:20

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TheFallenMadonna · 09/11/2013 18:21

So you tell him you did your 5/7 on the days he wasn't there...Confused