Housework should be split 2/7th to 5/7th

[Sleepyhoglet]

According to my dh housework should be split 2/7th and 5/7 ths with him doing less. He works away during the week so thinks as I am in the house on weekday evenings I should do considerably more . Like him I work full time so am only at home during the evening. This week I did about 4/5 hours of housework during the evenings. I was really cross when he disturbed my lie in today saying I needed to get up and join him doing house work. He doesn't think it fair that he should have to do housework at the weekend if I am not. Who is being unreasonable ?

You can do bugger all housework in the week when he's not around. Before children, my house was always about half an hour away from being tidy. Now with three DC, it's more like two days away from being presentable. Sounds like you're doing far too much housework, however it's divided up between you.

Normally we handle it better but the bug situation has created more jobs eg sorting out cupboards, moving out all big furniture, 5+ loads laundry, hpovering everywhere thoroughly every day

Still, surely it was his choice to be doing the cleaning in the morning.
Unless you both had agreed a specific time to start, why wake you up?

Even if you agreed with him about the division of housework, getting you out of bed like that is not on. You're not his slave.

And surely, if you've done your 5 days, then it's his turn to do his 2. Or does he really mean that he does 2 days to your 7?

If you've been dealing with the bug infestation all week then it's his turn to deal with it at the weekend. Is he being punitive because the bugs came from your pet which he dislikes or is indifferent to?

If you live on your own during the week, exactly what housework is there to do really.

I think it's weird, in fact, I think the equal leisure time principle is weird too.

If hubby has things to do, he aims to do them so it doesn't impact on our time together so we get quality time together. Visa versa. I like to get as much done when he's not about so we get as much time together as we can. Anything else, or keeping count shouldn't be needed should it?

well to my reckoning, if he is their two days a week and you are there for 7, then you should clean up your own mess during the week and then you should split the joint mes at the weekend - so that makes 6/7 to you and 1/7 to him, so I would say he is being generous.

However, he shouldn't be needing to disturb you to get ytou to do it to his agenda.

In the main though, i think you need to grow up. You also need to decide if you should be a couple if you can't do things for each other without keeping a tally, or automatically splitting the care of your home.

Well apart from the special bug circumstances.

Why don't you just not do any and do it all on the weekend?

That is what we used to do when there was just us and both working full time.

How much can there be as an ongoing concern?

He doesn't see you all week yet he'd rather get up at the weekend to do housework than stay in bed and cuddle/shag you. I find that odd

You have no children and he woke you from your lie in to do housework? If go fucking ape just for that alone

Ok so it was 11am when he woke me up! Maybe I am being a little unreasonable. This week has been extra stressful dealing with the fabric bugs that I just wanted to have a fun/ chilled weekend. We are always out on a Sunday so Saturday is my only chilling day. Once all this mess is cleared up I will set up some sort of rota. To whoever asked whether we want to be together feh answer is yes! We've been married over 4 years but clearly all relationships have stumbling blocks, mine being housework and tidying.

Solid gold- not from a pet. Just bugs that destroy carpets and clothing. Disgusting.

I'd be livid about being woken up. I hate that 'if I'm suffering you must too' attitude, or 'its convenient to me to do it now, so, with no thought to your convenience, it must be done now.'

In reality, he could have got his bit done and you could have done yours later, or he could have done something else then and waited for you.

As for the rest, we've always shared the bulk of housework at weekends.

In the week, whoever is here does what's needed at the time, which, pre-DC that was cook and wash up and, um, that's it. Laundry, hoovering, bathroom etc was all shared at weekends. Not so different now except more weekday laundry, hoovering and tidying to keep things ticking over.

You see I don't think his fractions work, because, according to me, cleaning bathrooms, floors and doing laundry need doing once a week, however much time anyone has spent in the house. It makes no difference who is away or for how long, unless you were both away entirely.

So you live there - cleaning needs doing once a week. He's there two days - even if he lives alone and especially if he brings laundry home, cleaning needs doing once a week (yes, some tasks are arguable there but it's not far from reality). Cleaning is a constant, divided by the number of people who live in the house.

Who is cleaning up after him during the week? If he's cooking, ironing and doing it all himself at another residence, I start to see his point. If he's staying in a hotel he's getting a free ride and should be grateful and happy to get back to domestic warmth and normality, with all it's mess, imperfection and obligations.

If he gets three hours a night to relax totally (for example), for four nights, then thats 12 hours you should be clawing back!!

Oh also, if he wants to get all technical and precise about it (rather than adopting my 'just share it once a week' rule, thus saving much calculation time) then...

Got to work it out by the appropriately weighted 'domestic hour' Mr Hoglet. You're in the house, shedding skin and hair, treading dirt around, moving stuff, pouring stuff, splashing stuff, using stuff, for more hours of each day at the weekend than is Sleepyhoglet during the week.

You can argue with me about exactly how often the hoovering and toilet-cleaning need doing when you've worked through those numbers, for typical and atypical weeks, with weightings for heaviness of use, including differential shedding, then subtracting a constant for any habitual wiping and tidying as one goes along.