Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Housework should be split 2/7th to 5/7th

68 replies

Sleepyhoglet · 09/11/2013 17:46

According to my dh housework should be split 2/7th and 5/7 ths with him doing less. He works away during the week so thinks as I am in the house on weekday evenings I should do considerably more . Like him I work full time so am only at home during the evening. This week I did about 4/5 hours of housework during the evenings. I was really cross when he disturbed my lie in today saying I needed to get up and join him doing house work. He doesn't think it fair that he should have to do housework at the weekend if I am not. Who is being unreasonable ?

OP posts:
OutragedFromLeeds · 09/11/2013 18:21

You are both being unreasonable and doing far too much cleaning.

You should tidy/clean up the mess you make during the week. Everything else can be split 50/50. It really shouldn't be that much.

Or get a cleaner?

natwebb79 · 09/11/2013 18:22

Blimey, housework took me about an hour a week before kids. With just me it was 10 minutes an evening maintenance! To be fair if I lived away 5 days of the week I'd probably expect the person there all week to do most of the housework...

froubylou · 09/11/2013 18:23

How much housework do you do?

I had a cleaner at one point. She could blitz the house and do all the ironing in 3 hours. That's a 2 bed house with 2 adults and a child.

If it causes you so many issues get a cleaner.

TidyDancer · 09/11/2013 18:28

His ?/7 calculation is screwy, but tbh I agree with him in principle. You are there the overwhelming majority of the time and therefore will create the most mess etc. Although I also agree with whoever it was who said who much housework can be created by two adults who both work full time, one of which doesn't even sleep there for most of the week (notwithstanding the bug issues this week, that would be an exception).

That said, he was definitely being unreasonable by getting you up to do housework.

TidyDancer · 09/11/2013 18:29

how much housework! Not who much! Bloody iPad.

Harryhairypig · 09/11/2013 18:30

I would do the bare minimum during the week then, the cheeky sod, anyone woke me for a lie in I would be livid. Tell him you are prepared to do housework for an hour or two, at the weekend after 11am, and then do minimum in week. However much he chooses to do then is up to him. Although if you plan to have children then you need to make it crystal clear that him working away in the week does not mean he does 2/7ths of the childcare at weekends!

Harryhairypig · 09/11/2013 18:31

I mean you should tidy up after yourself in week and do laundry, but not all the heavy cleaning if he's going to insist you clean at the weekend as well.

VivaLeBeaver · 09/11/2013 18:32

Blimey. When I was single I could go for a couple of weeks without doing housework no problem. How much is there to do?

Even now I don't spend my weekend doing housework. Today I've done three loads of laundry and I won't do any housework tomorrow apart from maybe some ironing. I hoovered in the week and the bathroom looks clean!

ITCouldBeWorse · 09/11/2013 18:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lweji · 09/11/2013 18:34

I think you should do whatever you need to survive during the week, i.e. meals and clean up and tidy up after yourself (e.g. dishes, stove, bath), then split up the work during weekends: laundry, washing up, cleaning the house, gardening, etc.

Lweji · 09/11/2013 18:36

For two single people, it shouldn't be much more than 2-3 hours of work each over the weekend. Not necessarily done at the same time. He can do some in the morning while you have a lie in.

Him waking you up sounds very twattish and as if he wanted to punish you.

Ragwort · 09/11/2013 18:37

Blimey. When I was single I could go for a couple of weeks without doing housework no problem - I can still go for a couple of weeks without doing much, even though I have a DH & DS Grin - just how much housework do you do Confused?

Moreisnnogedag · 09/11/2013 18:40

What mess are you making?! I too thought if you had DC then it's a bit much asking you to do more cleaning at the weekend too.

But I would be pretty cheesed at being asked to clean up mess generated during the week if I worked away (not including vacuuming and dusting, garden jobs etc).

heidihole · 09/11/2013 18:42

what does he do in the evenings after work?

I think you should clean up after yourself in the week (do your own dishes and bleach your own loo) but anything thing "extra" like mowing lawn, ironing clothes should be split.

custardo · 09/11/2013 18:44

so you are in the house alone
no children

and it takes you 5 hours a week

dya live in a fucking mansion?

my only opinion on this matter is - if my dh told me to do anything - i would tell him to kiss my arse

apart from that - i think you are clean freaks with shit all else to do - go see a movie, get drunk , bake a cake, learn to juggle

arethereanyleftatall · 09/11/2013 18:44

Bug infestation aside , how much mess can you generate? One set of clothes each a day = one load each a week. Do it when you like. You're only cleaning up your own food mess presumably of an evening? so that's your Job. Then vacuuming/bathrooms once a week, what, one hour each? Split and do whenever you like. Not really worth arguing about.

MammaTJ · 09/11/2013 18:47

How much housework does he cause when he is away all week?

Phineyj · 09/11/2013 18:51

6 hours a week?!! Either I am a total slob, very efficient or your joint standards are way too high.

dreamingbohemian · 09/11/2013 18:52

I can't believe he woke you up to do some cleaning. Who even thinks that way??

My advice is to stop thinking in the abstract, make an actual list of all the weekly household tasks, and divide them up more specifically.

I think in your situation I would ask DH to do a weekly hoover, wash and iron his own clothes, share any deep cleaning or DIY tasks, and split cooking/dishes/tidying 50/50 on the days he's there.

If it's just you during the week I can't imagine you have to spend that much time cleaning up.

TheDoctrineOfWho · 09/11/2013 18:55

Does your DH do any housework at the place he stats during the week?

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 09/11/2013 18:56

What the hell are you doing getting up and doing housework at the weekend when you have no kids?

Pre-DC, DH and I would stay in bed and shag, emerge sometime before noon for bacon sandwiches and then progress to doing some jobs sometime in the afternoon before opening the wine! Grin

kim147 · 09/11/2013 18:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

redskyatnight · 09/11/2013 19:01

If it's just you there during the week, presumably you just wash up your breakfast and dinner dishes after eating and do general tidying as you go along - hardly any time.

Then one of you can do hoovering and one can do bathroom and kitchen at the weekend - an hour max. Doesn't seem worth having a system over.

Or am I missing something?

I'm not sure the equal leisure thing works here - if DH is working away, he may have leisure time in the evenings but be stuck in a hotel in the middle of nowhere so not actually able to do what he wants with it iyswim.

Original poster
Sleepyhoglet · 09/11/2013 19:07

It has been the bug infestation and tidy up operation that has created so much extra work tbh

OP posts:
kim147 · 09/11/2013 19:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.