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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to assume that half a can of tuna is sufficient for a sandwich??

134 replies

Heymacarena · 09/11/2013 17:02

DSS has been round for lunch four times this week and making himself a sandwich.

WIBU to request that he uses only a half can of tuna for his sandwich??

Personally j would struggle to chow through a sandwich made with 140g of tuna.

It's over £1 per can.

OP posts:
ToTheTeeth · 10/11/2013 09:16

Dare to dream Diddle, dare to dream...

Petitgrain · 10/11/2013 09:16

What a tightarse you are. Poor boy. Hope his Dad is kinder than you.

jacks365 · 10/11/2013 09:16

Are you sure your dss is still entitled to fsm. You mention he attends college, has he just moved to college after doing gcse's? If it is a college rather than a sixth form attached to a school he will no longer get fsm, it might be worth looking into the situation to check.

My 16yo could happily eat a whole tin but thankfully does prefer more variety so wouldn't have more than once a week

maryannmarie · 10/11/2013 09:18

I eat the whole tin just because after it's been opened, it tastes naff a few hours later. However, I get three smaller tins for a quid from Poundland now so it's solved the problem.

gobbynorthernbird · 10/11/2013 09:28

TBH, given that the OP has also said there is often no bread/milk left, I don't think that just the tuna is the issue. It's expensive to feed an extra person (nearly) every day. It's a ballache to realise that person has left the rest of the house without basics. There is no talk of not feeding the stepson, I think there is a balance needing to be found between DSS eating, the household budget, and making sure there is food left for the people who actually live in the house and rely on the food that has been bought still being there when they need it.

QOD · 10/11/2013 09:31

1 tin does sandwiches for a BIG adult (dh) 2 days running, does dd tuna pasta and enough for tuna salad for me too.

Petitgrain · 10/11/2013 09:32

"People who actually live in the house"? He's her dh's son for god's sake!

gobbynorthernbird · 10/11/2013 09:33

Petit, it may not be anything to do with kind/unkindness. What if OP is on a tight budget? With all due respect, if the OP is worried about the cost of what DSS is eating, I'd guess that they can't easily afford it.

gobbynorthernbird · 10/11/2013 09:35

I know he's her DH's son. He's also having a more expensive lunch than her son. Do they spend a lot more so her son has the same, or ask the stepson to eat the same as they would?

Petitgrain · 10/11/2013 09:40

They let both children eat what they need/want to eat of course!

gobbynorthernbird · 10/11/2013 09:43

And if they can't afford it? If that happened in my house our shopping bill would double.

Petitgrain · 10/11/2013 09:52

If they can't afford it, obviously the first thing to cut back on is the children's food Confused?

VanitasVanitatum · 10/11/2013 09:56

petit read the thread.

OP has said one tin is obviously reasonable and she will find cheaper tuna. Really no need to be rude at all, calling her tight and unkind.

Petitgrain · 10/11/2013 10:05

Ok. I have already read the thread. I just wonder if the OP is actually resentful of the boy using "her" stuff, which she bought, because he isn't her child but her dh's. Which would be very unkind. Or whether she resents both children eating what she regards as too much. Either way, I feel for the kid(s).

Shonajoy · 10/11/2013 10:05

Wow. He's growing he'd rather come to yours for lunch and you're moaning about a quid. My son will have a can as a snack, it's a good lean protein.

Petitgrain · 10/11/2013 10:08

And that yes, of course she's backed down, to save face, because no-one wants to be regarded as mean, do they? But the fact that it was even an issue to her at all speaks volumes about kindness/empathy towards her dh's son.

melika · 10/11/2013 10:11

Yabu, my DS can eat whole can of tuna mixed with mayo and half a can of sweetcorn easily.

Tenacity · 10/11/2013 10:14

If he is 16, he's probably going through a growth spurt, and is very hungry.
Do you have any other food he can eat in the house OP, or do you just want him cutting down on the tuna? If its the latter, he will be left hungry...

fatlazymummy · 10/11/2013 10:15

petitgrain you don't seem to understand that in some families there isn't a limitless supply of food. If one person eats more than their share then others in the family may go short. Nothing to do with being mean or unkind.

Petitgrain · 10/11/2013 10:18

No, I do understand that. But children should not have to go hungry, is my point.

fatlazymummy · 10/11/2013 10:23

petitgrain well he isn't actually going to 'go hungry' on half a tin of tuna in a sandwich, is he? It's still more than what many people get to eat.

Artandco · 10/11/2013 10:24

Is this like a ' I can feed a family for a month on one chicken'?

How can someone above make x2 sandwiches, a tuna pasta salad and have leftovers from one tin?

Op- I would say its fine to eat a whole tin, if you can get it in. Otherwise do you have enough to add with it ie sweetcorn and cucumber etc

If I was to eat it by itself I would have a whole tin on baked potato/ in sandwich. ( I'm quite petite also). If I wanted it to spread to x2 people I would add half a red onion, a small tin of sweetcorn and chop up some cucumber and mix in.

gobbynorthernbird · 10/11/2013 10:25

fatlazy, exactly. OP has said there are other things for him to eat.

Petitgrain · 10/11/2013 10:40

Yes, there will be other things he can eat. The fact remains, I think the OP is being mean, possibly because it's not her child who wants the food.

fatlazymummy · 10/11/2013 10:56

petitgrain there is a big difference between 'going hungry' and 'being allowed to eat whatever the hell you want with no regard for anyone else'.
Just because some people recognise that (or have to run thei r homes , along those lines) doesn'take them mean.