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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To hate star of the bloody week

55 replies

ScariestFairyByFar · 08/11/2013 16:45

I collect my friends 5yo from school every Friday and every week there are various degrees of strop from the kids who haven't won and anger at the one whose won

OP posts:

NynaevesSister · 08/11/2013 16:47

Wow that's badly handled by the teacher. The kids used to come running out of class excited for whoever won it when son was in year one.

Bluetone · 08/11/2013 16:49

Really? The school my children attend have Class Star every week too. I've never witnessed any negativity from other children. They seem to have grasped the fact that they can't win every week at age 4/5/6.

farrowandbawl · 08/11/2013 16:50

Then Star of the day is a good thing as it will teach them that they can't have everything their way all the time.

It will or should motivate them to do some work.

They will have to learn to be a good looser.

Harsh lessons but they need to be learnt.

WorraLiberty · 08/11/2013 16:51

That does sound very badly handled by the teacher

farrowandbawl · 08/11/2013 16:54

How is this the teachers fault?

tolittletoolate · 08/11/2013 16:54

My dd's old school had star of the week and despite her being very well behaved, polite, punctual etc she never won it and it really upset her especially when 'naughty and disruptive' children got it just for not hitting someone that day...

StealthPolarBear · 08/11/2013 16:55

Really? Star of the week seems to be won by all children at some point in our school (if I didn't know better I'd suspect a fix :o)

WooWooCaChoo · 08/11/2013 16:55

Oh I still remember the day I won star of the week at school, best day of my life!

Yabu.

ILetHimKeep20Quid · 08/11/2013 16:56

It goes down very well at our school

Squidwardtenticles · 08/11/2013 16:56

The ones who win it at my dd's school are the naughty ones who behave. Sadly dd never gets it.

FunnysInLaJardin · 08/11/2013 16:57

DS1 was star of the week the other week and he was very pleased. It doesn't cause any problems as far as I can see. DS2 is 3 and was the 'Special Person' the other day and got to sit on the gold cushion and ring the bell again no problems with the other children. They all should get their turn sooner or later

tolittletoolate · 08/11/2013 16:58

We did mention it to the teacher who looked horrified and gave it to her the next week, she was chuffed to bits :)
I think teachers need to know that well behaved children need to be rewarded too.

FionaJT · 08/11/2013 17:01

My dd worked out pretty quickly that everyone was going to get a turn at some point, so it did sort of lose it's motivating power, but I never heard of any negativity.

DiamondsAndRust · 08/11/2013 17:03

Used to do Star of the Week as a teacher and it always worked fine - my Year 1 class loved it. Agree that it needs to be organised properly/fairly though. Every child in my class got it at least once - it's a case of the teacher being observant, keeping track of who's had it and who hasn't (I used to write names in a notebook) and recognising the different contributions that each child has made throughout the year. A few of the really well behaved/hardworking children did end up being the 'Star' more than once, but no one ever had a problem with this.

WorraLiberty · 08/11/2013 17:19

My dd worked out pretty quickly that everyone was going to get a turn at some point, so it did sort of lose it's motivating power, but I never heard of any negativity.

That proves it can work.

Teachers will (or should) aim to motivate everyone to win it at some point...whether well behaved or otherwise.

craftynclothy · 08/11/2013 17:23

Dc's school does this really well. There's 2 from each class every week and ime they seem to pick one for a good piece of work and another for good behaviour. Everyone gets one at some point over the year.

BlackeyedSusan · 08/11/2013 17:24

it haas worked well for dd. she has had it the regulation twice a year.

ds had to wait all year before getting one in reception, and then only because I kicked up fuss that he had not had one and some of the other children were getting a second turn. he was quite upset about it at aged four.

bolderdash · 08/11/2013 17:29

YANBU I wish they would be fairer about it. It's usually the very badly behaved ones who get it at our school. Occasionally a very high achiever. DD's not had it once in three years.

dinnaementiontheprunes · 08/11/2013 17:44

In our school, it goes to all the children eventually, but yes, there is a marked correlation between who gets it that week and who's um overcome some behavioural challenges lately. I like that they're quite good about finding a different, positive reason for giving it (good collaborative work, helping others).

But I think YANBU as it's a bit of a farce really.

dinnaementiontheprunes · 08/11/2013 17:46

Having said that, I know some children find it really motivating so it would be a shame not to have it. (My own can't cope with it as he has to walk to the front at assembly to get it, and that's beyond the pale.)

WooWooOwl · 08/11/2013 17:51

I don't like it either. It's a lovely idea in theory, but I've seen too many children be awarded it when they don't deserve it, and too many children be overlooked.

teacherlikesapples · 08/11/2013 18:10

:/ Surely children need to learn that they can't have everything they want, whenever they want. Part of the point of it is learning to manage those feelings, have a discussion about why it was great that one child got something and for the children that didn't get it (but really want it) what they could try working on themselves. Maybe they could even ask the teacher to help them set a target- most teachers would be happy to have that discussion.

It's also not a fix if every child gets it at some point! Surely each child demonstrates personal achievement and deserves recognition of effort & persistence.

We have it at my school- we try and look out for something that matters to each child (a big personal achievement that is relevant to that individual) and we ensure everybody gets recognition in some way each term.

KerwhizzedMyself · 08/11/2013 18:17

This thing with the badly behaved ones getting it has been going on for years. I was good every single day as was my best friend and it took my mum going in and asking about it before we (and the other consistently well behaved children) got a merit badge. At secondary it was a trip to Alton Towers. If the badly behaved kids behaved for so many times a week, they got to go. There was no reward system for the well behaved ones. It's daft because you run the risk of the good ones thinking why bother?

Tailtwister · 08/11/2013 18:29

They have something similar in DS1's class, but they've all worked out they get it for fairly mundane reasons so they don't get very excited about it. The only fair way to do it imo is to ensure that every child gets it at some point during the term. It shouldn't be benchmarked against the whole class, but against the individual child's improvement, so it makes sense that if a badly behaved child gets it for an even small improvement in behaviour.

I guess it must have a positive effect otherwise they wouldn't bother doing it?

MollyBerry · 08/11/2013 18:51

I used to teach Year 1 and although we had a list and ticked people off so made sure everyone got it the children were so excited to get it. (Don;t think they had twigged everyone got it)

As people had said a reason would be found ot give it to 'naughtier' children however minor

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