To hate star of the bloody week

[ScariestFairyByFar]

I collect my friends 5yo from school every Friday and every week there are various degrees of strop from the kids who haven't won and anger at the one whose won

My dd came home with the star of the week trophy today. She and I were both chuffed to bits (I didn't even know they did star of the week until today!), all her friends were excited too.

As far as I'm aware we get it once a year, both DDs have always received it in the first month of the Autumn term so I think they are rewarding the well behaved kids early in the year. The school seems to give out loads of awards, we're still discovering awards that they've got for the first time. Some for individuals and some for the whole class. It seems to motivate them even if as an adult it looks like at least some of them are given to everyone eventually (admittedly there are others that are clearly for achievement rather than effort, like the 'awesome speller' that goes to those who get 10/10 in their spellings).

DD loves star of the week. I don't.

It would appear that one person from each year gets one each week. DD is full of anticipation every Friday and every Friday is disappointed. Pleased for the friend who got one, but disappointed for herself. Already in her year there's at least one child who has had two since September. DD has had two ever.

I feel so sad that she is overlooked time after time because she is neither academically brilliant nor in need of positive reinforcement with her behaviour.

'I think teachers need to know that well behaved children need to be rewarded too.'

I think parents need to know that well behaved children are rewarded too.

We use our 'stars' (or whatever) of the week are role models for the other children.

dolly I think that's really bad. I agree with star of the week but it should be given out so that everyone gets it once first

Molly DD isn't aware of this and of course I wouldn't tell her. I know she'll probably get one before the term's over. I just get a bit pfb about her at times [pfb mother emoticon].

Fortunately dd's class teacher has a great in-class reward scheme going. Not in front of the whole school but in a way that, to me, seems far fairer.

Ds's class had this in reception but he never had it, despite being really well behaved and doing well. He used to ask me why he hadn't got it, it's very hard when that happens.

DD started school in September and has eagerly awaiting the award of Star or the Week every Friday. She's never won it. The same little girl has won it 4 times now (they have their photo on the class blog when they win).

My year 11s love it

At Ds3s school, they do 'star of the day' in each class, so I would guess every child is the star a few times during the year!

I hate it too. My hardworking but quiet DD hasn't had it yet but the naughty, noisy kids all seem to be getting a turn. Way to show her what kind of behaviour gets attention. :(

In nursery they had a best listener award. One mum was alway indignant with rage when her PFB didn't get it. She used to say it was her child upset but he was fine while she was fuming.

I had 2 DCs who each went through 7 years of primary school. All classes did SOTD. Neither of mine were ever SOTD. You'd think there would be a rota, at least in the first couple of years, surely...? Both DCs have turned out very cynical. Just saying.

SOTD = SOT Week

I love star of the week, have it in my class. However, I do ensure every child has it by keeping a list, and I give it at this time of the year to a mix of children who need positive reinforcement and those who always do their best etc. I was one of the children in school annoyed others got rewards for doing what I did automatically so I guess that colours my approach in looking for those less noticed children to reward.

Unplastered That's harsh.

We've been back in school for 9 weeks. How could all children in a class have been awarded star of the week? To please parents, maybe we should have 30 stars of the week o the first week of term, then we wouldn't have to bother any more.

My kids school have smiley awards. They get smilies for various things, good listening, helping to tidy up etc etc and the one who gets the most smilies gets the award. I think its quite a fair system.
Dd and ds1 have both won their class awards this week

Nor me, everlong. All our children clap the winners quite good-naturedly!

It seems to work really well at DDs school, and it is very visible, a child in each class is given a golden school jumper to wear for a week, the children come out as a PP said, happy for whoever has got it. It is always a different and very specific reason to get it, sometimes quite obscure, so not sure how well it works as a motivator? There are a range of different systems for rewarding behaviour, 'spotty tickets', 'golden time', and good or very improved work can be taken to show the headmistress and you get a certificate for that. Sounds like a lot of bribes when written down!

My dds' school does this. Dd2 has been SOTW twice since September. 1st time the certificate and prize pound shop tat was given to her a week late. The 2nd time was the week before half term, and she has still not got her certificate or prize. She was pretty gutted but don't want to mention it to the teacher as don't want her to think I'm pushy.

Oh and dd1s (9) class goes in register order, I'll ask dd who was star of the week and when she says "x" I'll say 'oo I bet its you next week' and shes always amazed im right

I've never noticed any bad feelings towards those who have won.

Just to clarify - I think very few children have 'bad feelings' toward those who have won. DD is always pleased for the winners. But disappointed for herself. This is fine, she has to learn to deal with disappointment (as do all children), but it's hard on young children who watch others get two or three awards when they themselves have had none. At least going by the register is fair, if somewhat predictable .

We have child of the week and have never noticed any issues. DD1 was a bit sad last year in reception when she didn't get it but was happy enough when I told her she would one day. In the event she was the child of the week at Christmas and had it 3 weeks over the holidays so she was well pleased. She hasn't had it since but her turn will come and she barely mentions it now.