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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU? DS was ill and the school have marked it as an unauthorised holiday and are threatening to fine me!

893 replies

WeAreEternal · 08/11/2013 14:23

A couple of weeks ago DS (7) had an upset stomach, he D&V over night and most of the next day.
First thing in the morning (a Thursday) I called the school and let them know he was ill.
He was feeling better by the evening but as he had D&V school policy is 24 hours off, so I kept him off Friday too.

I received a letter from to school yesterday saying that those days have been marked as an unauthoried holiday as "although we received a phone call from you stating that (DS) was ill, we are led to believe that DS was in fact on a holiday to XXXX on these two dates"

The letter goes on to say that if he was genuinely ill they expect me to provide evidence such as a doctors appointment card, a prescription, a medication receipt or something simmilar that can "verify my version of events".

I am a medical professional, I know when when my DS needs medication or to see a GP or when he just has a bit of a stomach bug and needs rest and fluids.
Who would take a child to the GP or buy medication for D&V anyway?

How on earth can I prove that DS was ill?
And why are they even querying this?
AIBU to think this is bloody ridiculous?

Anyone have any ideas?

OP posts:
zipzap · 22/11/2013 23:36

Amazing but sadly predictable lack of response from the s school.

Did you ask them about getting a response when they rang you?

For your next letter to them I would be tempted to put some along the lines of if you do not respond within 5 days or whenever then I will consider this admission that you do not have any evidence to substantiate your untrue claims and thus will be dropping the claim and removing all trace of it from ds's records both in and out of school. I also expect a personal written and spoken apology along with an explanation of how such ridiculous claims were made and acted upon to the point of issuing fines without any attempt to verify the truth, and reassurances that this won't happen again.

Sorry not well worded as I'm tired!

PestoFlashissimos · 25/11/2013 08:24

Any news OP?

EdithWeston · 25/11/2013 08:38

The school trip call was (probably) from someone else in the school (ie the trip arranger) who would not be the person who ought to be dealing with the complaint and who may not know about it at all. And if that's the case, then it's an irrelevancy to OP's actual issue, as other aspects of school life do need to keep going.

singarainbow · 25/11/2013 08:57

Marking a place, intrigued at how its all turning out for OP.

SlicedLemon · 25/11/2013 16:46

I dont suppose you have heard anything from the school today have you OP?

Original poster
WeAreEternal · 25/11/2013 19:37

el like a huge disappointment to you all for not having an exciting update.

I took a screen shot of the signature/time/date of the letters delivery, but the signature is just a wavy line, it looks a bit like how someone might draw the bippy line of a heart monitor, somewhat like ////\

I didn't actually speak to them when they called, they left a voicemail, I shan't be returning their call, let's see how they like it.

OP posts:
YouTheCat · 25/11/2013 19:39

WeAre, you contacted them in writing. They have to do the same.

A phonecall this late in the proceedings just does not cut it.

FeisMom · 25/11/2013 19:41

WeAre - I'm still in shock at the shoddy treatment that you have received.

SauvignonBlanche · 25/11/2013 19:45

That's very poor, what are you gong to do next?

Peekingduck · 25/11/2013 20:28

Weareeternal - did you get a copy of the school complaints procedure? You need to do this. Have you looked to see if it's on their website? However futile it seems, follow it through and chase, chase, chase if they miss the deadlines. Remember, if you aren't satisfied with the eventual response from governors that isn't the end of the process (as someone said it was on the previous page). If you feel strongly enough you can make a final stage complaint to the DfE. I posted helpful links earlier in the thread. Read this www.education.gov.uk/aboutdfe/complaintsprocedure/b00212240/making-complaint-school/guidance-on-making-a-complaint-about-a-school
I'm sure the LA will say it's a school matter and "avoid" getting involved. That is because it IS a school matter and the LA have NO role to play in your complaint. The body that would take an interest is the DfE, but only after you follow the school complaints procedure.
Honestly, that is the route you need to take. You're getting some poor advice here from some people. You certainly don't need to start spending money on a solicitor!
I'm not going to tell you what I do for a living, but believe me I know what I'm talking about here.

RandomMess · 25/11/2013 20:35

Blimey I cannot believe they have continued to ignore your complaint!

paxtecum · 25/11/2013 20:40

Eternal: Contact Royal Mail.
They will have a record of the name of the signatory.

On receipt of a Signed For letter, as well as signing the postman's machine, the postman types the receivers name into his machine.
Good luck!

Lariflete · 25/11/2013 20:58

Paxtecum has made a very good point and is definitely worth having as much information as possible to carry on the fight so to speak. I can't believe that the school are so blatantly ignoring you though.

OrlandoWoolf · 25/11/2013 21:01

I would make an appointment with the head.

float62 · 25/11/2013 21:47

Thanks for keeping us updated WeAre, it's much appreciated.

Snowbility · 25/11/2013 22:12

Time to suggest you are seeking level advice as they have accused you of lying without proof, isn't that slander?

Ime Headteachers like to spend their time bossing everyone around, they rightfully expect high standards of staff, pupils and parents but their own conduct is frequently suspect - are they the untouchables?

BitOutOfPractice · 25/11/2013 23:32

Only slander/ libel if communicated to a third party. Slander is verbal. Libel is written.

scaevola · 26/11/2013 10:26

It might be worth returning the call (do you want to be in a race to the bottom in non-communication?), but all you need say is that you have requested a written response and do not wish to have any discussions about the situation until that has been received (repeat ad nauseam).

Unexpected · 26/11/2013 13:16

I don't think you should return the call as it had nothing to do with your complaint, did it? They were just reminding you to return a form for a trip, the person calling may not even have known that you have sent a letter?

hooochycoo · 26/11/2013 13:47

The longer they leave it to respond the stranger this is. You definitely need an appointment with the head.

tobiasfunke · 27/11/2013 10:21

I have been following this from the beginning and what a saga it is. The school has been unbelievable.
If I were you now I would make an appointment with the head. I think the school governors are more likely to take you seriously if you have done all you can to resolve it in person.
I think in general school governors tend to believe the staff at the school more than the parents as they have a closer relationship with them- although not always.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 27/11/2013 12:24

Gosh - I can't believe that the school are failing to even deal with this. Either they had "evidence" as to why they thought your son had been on holiday which they should have provided you with straightaway to respond to. Or they didn't really have any evidence in which case they should have backed down immediately and marked your son as sick on the register. This behaviour on the part of the school is a disgrace Angry

mateysmum · 27/11/2013 16:44

OP I really think you need to book an appointment with the head. If they insist on knowing what it's about, I'm sure you can find something legit as your way in. Don't let this go. MN is relying on you.

zipzap · 27/11/2013 16:51

I wouldfollow up on the call so they can't say later that you didn't call them back and that the ball was in your court.

Even if it is just for the school trip, I would actively remind them that you have sent them the letter, it has been signed for and they haven't even done you the courtesy of acknowledging the letter, let alone reply to it and it is now a week past the date you had asked them to respond by. Accordingly as outlined in the letter, you are going to escalate complained as outlined. Then follow up with an email confirming your conversation with xxx, making sure you put a delivery and read receipt request on it.

If you don't follow through soon they'll try to wiggle out of things because you haven't chased them - attack is the best form of defence and all that - by deflecting away from their appalling behaviour by nit picking trivial things about you, so don't give them that opportunity.

Good luck!

friday16 · 27/11/2013 16:56

As I've said on several occasions, primary governance is very weak. The head has had a formal complaint. The next stage is escalation to the governors. The head has just ignored it to the point of not even acknowledging it with a holding letter. What does that tell you about their relationship with the governors? It says that they are a bunch if PTA ers who won't say boo to a goose. Useless.