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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU? DS was ill and the school have marked it as an unauthorised holiday and are threatening to fine me!

893 replies

WeAreEternal · 08/11/2013 14:23

A couple of weeks ago DS (7) had an upset stomach, he D&V over night and most of the next day.
First thing in the morning (a Thursday) I called the school and let them know he was ill.
He was feeling better by the evening but as he had D&V school policy is 24 hours off, so I kept him off Friday too.

I received a letter from to school yesterday saying that those days have been marked as an unauthoried holiday as "although we received a phone call from you stating that (DS) was ill, we are led to believe that DS was in fact on a holiday to XXXX on these two dates"

The letter goes on to say that if he was genuinely ill they expect me to provide evidence such as a doctors appointment card, a prescription, a medication receipt or something simmilar that can "verify my version of events".

I am a medical professional, I know when when my DS needs medication or to see a GP or when he just has a bit of a stomach bug and needs rest and fluids.
Who would take a child to the GP or buy medication for D&V anyway?

How on earth can I prove that DS was ill?
And why are they even querying this?
AIBU to think this is bloody ridiculous?

Anyone have any ideas?

OP posts:
AchyFox · 22/11/2013 13:11

Even if one of DS's class mates had said something, or even DS himself, they are 7, surely the teachers know they can't be 100% reliable.

Are you suggesting DS may have said he was in XXXXX ?

I'm curious.

prettybird · 22/11/2013 13:20

I think that was just a case of the OP racking her brains as to where they might have got the idea that they had been on holiday in that city: wondering if her ds might have mentioned something about the place as it's a place that they do genuinely visit relatively regularly as her db iirrc lives there-- but that as it is only 50 miles away, it is not somewhere they would "go on holiday" and were certainly not there on the days in question Confused[anfry]

AchyFox · 22/11/2013 13:59

Prettybird

The curious thing is that OP doesn't appear to have spoken with DS to establish what he did in fact say, yet also expects teachers not to be reasonably led to believe something when 7yo DS says it. Confused

Anyway we await updates.Wink

SlicedLemon · 22/11/2013 17:48

Unashamedly admitting I want to know what's happened or not happened with this.

NynaevesSister · 22/11/2013 17:55

Me too!

Jossysgiants · 22/11/2013 18:32

It's the not knowing I can't bear. Please come back op .... < pathetic pleading>

float62 · 22/11/2013 18:51

I too am waiting for the outcome - do you think someone should send a PM asking for an update?

float62 · 22/11/2013 19:00

Ok, I just have...

alranson · 22/11/2013 19:07

Why would a school do that? They are not the EWO.

I know that technically it's not the school's job to investigate. But we don't know what the school's relationship is like with the EWO. Or how many cases they've had to refer recently. I'm absolutely not saying that the way they've handled it is right, but I just have a feeling that the school might see it as a sign of weakness to call in the EWO, and that they are trying to get a confession/apology/promise not to do it again before it gets to any kind of investigation and outside involvement. The whole thing feels very very Keystone Kops, not the FBI...

AlistairSim · 22/11/2013 19:29

No news?

Wonder ifthe head put a hit on the op??

Original poster
WeAreEternal · 22/11/2013 19:41

Sorry for the slow update.

I've been really busy with my crazy witch of a sil's drama family drama.

I've had no response from the school, I've written a letter to the governors and the LEA requesting a copy of DS's register and demanding to make an official complaint about the situation.

Today I received a call for the school, I prepares myself for some kind of explanation, but the call was just to remind me that I haven't sent back the form about a trip.

OP posts:
clam · 22/11/2013 19:51

Good for you! Keep at it.

ChoosandChipsandSealingWax · 22/11/2013 19:55

A school trip???!!!! ConfusedHmm

They are unbelievable!!!

sarine1 · 22/11/2013 19:57

It's very 'passive aggressive' isn't it? If we don't respond then she'll go away....
Is there any chance of upping the stakes and getting a solicitor's letter done - it's a serious allegation to make that you have deliberately lied to the school. If they're not going to respond then do you have any contacts who could help you use a quasi legal route? Defamation of your character etc? Just a thought.

NadiaWadia · 22/11/2013 19:57

Goodness, they are useless! They can't just ignore an official complaint as well, can they? Can they?

Ezza1 · 22/11/2013 20:04

Oh no Sad I was hoping you would have had an explanation and/or apology by now and not had to take it any further.

I wonder whats keeping them from communicating?

AchyFox · 22/11/2013 20:11

Well if they've not replied by now, it looks a lot like they've fucked up and are trying to bury their heads in the sand.

tinypumpkin · 22/11/2013 20:14

Unbelievable. I think I would see about a response to the next letter and go down the sol route too if I had too. Good for you in terms of upping the ante so to speak. Abysmal behaviour on the part of the school.

JackNoneReacher · 22/11/2013 20:17

Terrible behaviour from the school. They clearly feel they are totally unaccountable to you and there is no need to explain/apologise for their heavy handed, bullying behaviour.

antiqueacorns · 22/11/2013 20:30

From past experience the LEA will probably say it's a school matter and avoid getting involved. The Governors will send a poor response not addressing the issue.They will then say that the complaint has been closed and that they will not answer any further questions about the matter. You then have nowhere to go and they brand you vexatious if you try to persist with the matter.

Ultimately the Governors decision is final and parents have nowhere to go.

OrlandoWoolf · 22/11/2013 20:35

If they won't write to you, I'd make an appointment with the Head. And then expect them to follow up that meeting with some kind of letter.

youarewinning · 22/11/2013 21:57

Please do not pay for the trip. Return the form but no payment.
I suspect they rang you in case a letter reminding you and reminding you of payment incurred another complaint about payment demands - they won't leave a paper trail now!
Good for you for pursuing it. Best of luck

SauvignonBlanche · 22/11/2013 22:04

The school trip? The bastards!

antiqueacorns · 22/11/2013 22:19

Ask if the school trip counts as an authorised absence or not Grin

SlicedLemon · 22/11/2013 23:23

OMG - I actually cannot believe they have not responded at all. i really cant. Even just to say we are looking into the matter.

I am wondering they have binned/ignored your letter after it became seperated/open and it has been "forgotten" by them that they signed for it.

I will piss myself at the irony if the letter has been left on the persons (the receptionist referred to in the initial stages of all this) desk in their prolonged absence.

I seriously hope you get something back from the LEA and governors soon.

Did you ask for a response date from either of them?

Can I suggest that if you have not already done so that you print the signature for the letter you sent the school before Royal Mail remove it from their website - not sure how long they leave the signatures up there for. Also log the time and date it was signed for. You may need this as evidence if they try and deny receiving it.

I am so shocked that you have not had anything. I thought you would have by now. I wonder what the hell they are playing at.

Keep at it WeAreEternal and I hope whatever family drama you have unfolding is nothing too awful.

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