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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU? DS was ill and the school have marked it as an unauthorised holiday and are threatening to fine me!

893 replies

WeAreEternal · 08/11/2013 14:23

A couple of weeks ago DS (7) had an upset stomach, he D&V over night and most of the next day.
First thing in the morning (a Thursday) I called the school and let them know he was ill.
He was feeling better by the evening but as he had D&V school policy is 24 hours off, so I kept him off Friday too.

I received a letter from to school yesterday saying that those days have been marked as an unauthoried holiday as "although we received a phone call from you stating that (DS) was ill, we are led to believe that DS was in fact on a holiday to XXXX on these two dates"

The letter goes on to say that if he was genuinely ill they expect me to provide evidence such as a doctors appointment card, a prescription, a medication receipt or something simmilar that can "verify my version of events".

I am a medical professional, I know when when my DS needs medication or to see a GP or when he just has a bit of a stomach bug and needs rest and fluids.
Who would take a child to the GP or buy medication for D&V anyway?

How on earth can I prove that DS was ill?
And why are they even querying this?
AIBU to think this is bloody ridiculous?

Anyone have any ideas?

OP posts:
tinypumpkin · 18/11/2013 22:32

Hope you get your reply by Weds. I agree it is a good idea to have the letter to go in case you don't. Good luck and hope you don't need to escalate.

MrsBonkers · 19/11/2013 02:33

Can't believe you haven't heard from them.
I wonder if the HT knew nothing about the original letter, (they'd have to be pretty stupid to let it go out.) Maybe the attendance admin bod sent it out thinking they were being clever and now it has come back to bite them. That might explain the receptionist stalling you and not putting you through to the head.
However, now you've sent the letter, the head has been informed and its all kicked off.

friday16 · 19/11/2013 08:22

Be prepared to pay £10 for information under FOI act.

Data Protection, not FOI.

mummymeister · 19/11/2013 14:53

can't believe its now Tuesday and still no reply WeAreEternal. first thread I have ever followed this closely because I am genuinely Shock about this case. please keep us all up to date.

pointyfangs · 19/11/2013 15:54

Actually I can believe the OP hasn't had a reply - the school are hoping she will go away. She won't, though. Smile Cake Flowers

PestoPeachissimos · 19/11/2013 17:29

I bet they respond once she copies in the Governors!

friday16 · 19/11/2013 17:36

I bet they respond once she copies in the Governors!

In a primary school? Most of the governors will see their role as an extension of the PTA, to act as fundraisers and cheerleaders for the head. There are exceptions, obviously. But governance in primary schools is shockingly weak.

OrlandoWoolf · 19/11/2013 17:40

So marking my place here Grin

lborolass · 19/11/2013 19:27

friday16 - I don't now how much experience you have of primary governance but I've had a fair bit of involvement with a number of different schools and I can say that in not one of them did the governors have anything to do with the PTA and certainly didn't get involved in fundraising.
Things have changed since then and I know that Ofsted are really hard on governing bodies, in general I don't think its true to say governance is weak anymore.

If the OP does have to go that far I'm sure they'll be able to resolve the situation.

AchyFox · 19/11/2013 20:23

Have you spoken to DS regarding how anyone might have mistakenly gained the impression he was in XXXXXX ?

jamdonut · 19/11/2013 20:52

fiday16 - Governors have to have their "finger on the pulse" of what is happening in their school - Ofsted grills them and calls them to account, so it is more than their lives are worth to ignore a letter from a parent.

youarewinning · 19/11/2013 20:55

Oh FFS Friday your right! That's twice I've stated the wrong act Blush I even typed a bold message a few pages back to remind OP to correct the letter I drafted.

friday16 · 19/11/2013 21:55

so it is more than their lives are worth to ignore a letter from a parent.

Governors are volunteers. The worst that can happen to them (over any issue short of blatant criminality) is that they cease to be allowed to volunteer. Being removed as a governor is hardly a firing squad.

Apocolipstick · 19/11/2013 22:57

I predict the school will try to fob OP off with a phone call tomorrow, offering an appointment

OrlandoWoolf · 19/11/2013 23:04

I think we need to help the school write a letter back to the OP. Grin

Dear WeAreEternal,

Thankyou for your recent letter. Can I apologise on behalf of the entire staff for not responding earlier but I've been too busy filling in performance management forms.

I have spoke to the person who sent the letter and it seems she overheard your DS talking about his holiday. So she assumed that you'd gone and had lied to us. We believe in empowering our staff so she felt it was alright to send that letter and then totally ignore your response.

She fucked up. I fucked up. We all fucked up.

Won't happen again. I hope this incident does not in anyway impede your view of the school and my management.

Hugs and kisses

The Head

SlicedLemon · 20/11/2013 00:21

I am wondering if the school will deny ever getting the letter not realising once opened and allocated to the person dealing with it that its a signed for letter and the OP actually knows the time it was delivered.

Pennythedog · 20/11/2013 07:29

It's crazy. First they accuse you of lying, then they ignore you.

Good luck with the next letter and don't be fobbed off!

youretoastmildred · 20/11/2013 09:10

I think (disclaimer - I know nothing about standard admin processes in schools) the person who signed for, and opened, the OP's letter, is the same person who sent the original "we think OP is lying" letter, and that person is bricking it because (s)he didn't follow correct procedures for the original letter and in fact people more senior (people who will now have to deal with this) don't know about it. So that person is ostriching the situation, trying to pluck up courage / find the right moment to come clean about the whole thing

mummymeister · 20/11/2013 10:00

unfortunately for WeAreEternal a simple reply wont cut it now I think. aren't we always telling our kids if you make a mistake and screw up then tell us straight away and not to let it linger. the school should have systems in place whereby any complaint type letter gets pushed up the tree of command and it shouldn't just be the h/she that opens it that deals with it. this is about a systems failure at the school. this is about not treating WEA with respect. I don't care how busy the head or anyone else is they should have got back to her the same day not sat on their hands. here we are 1 week later and not even a call. I would be bloody savage by now.

Ezza1 · 20/11/2013 10:04

Wow, still no reply? (I am secretly hoping for one like Orlando wrote Grin )

Whats the next step?

JulesJules · 20/11/2013 12:10

Still no reply! They really are useless aren't they.

mateysmum · 20/11/2013 12:37

It's Wednesday - surely today we'll get an update saying the school have responded. The longer this goes on the more aghast I get.

Look forward to hearing from you Eternal.

Snowbility · 20/11/2013 12:49

Do you think the school are reading this thread?

Gruntfuttock · 20/11/2013 12:53

By ignoring her, the school are treating the OP with such utter contempt, that I'm furious on her behalf.

meditrina · 20/11/2013 12:59

What time the postie typically delivers to OP's house? If it's during the working day, then perhaps she won't know if there has been a response on deadline day until this evening? In which case, next stage first thing tomorrow?