AIBU? DS was ill and the school have marked it as an unauthorised holiday and are threatening to fine me!

[WeAreEternal]

A couple of weeks ago DS (7) had an upset stomach, he D&V over night and most of the next day.
First thing in the morning (a Thursday) I called the school and let them know he was ill.
He was feeling better by the evening but as he had D&V school policy is 24 hours off, so I kept him off Friday too.

I received a letter from to school yesterday saying that those days have been marked as an unauthoried holiday as "although we received a phone call from you stating that (DS) was ill, we are led to believe that DS was in fact on a holiday to XXXX on these two dates"

The letter goes on to say that if he was genuinely ill they expect me to provide evidence such as a doctors appointment card, a prescription, a medication receipt or something simmilar that can "verify my version of events".

I am a medical professional, I know when when my DS needs medication or to see a GP or when he just has a bit of a stomach bug and needs rest and fluids.
Who would take a child to the GP or buy medication for D&V anyway?

How on earth can I prove that DS was ill?
And why are they even querying this?
AIBU to think this is bloody ridiculous?

Anyone have any ideas?

Complaints policy should be on the website

I can't add anything OP but I don't think it's ridiculous I think it's disgraceful.

They have accused OP of lying, they have asked for "proof" that no normal parent would be able to provide and are then claiming a financial penalty.

Isn't that fraud ?

Can't believe you've been fobbed off again

If it got to being fined stage, what happens if you don't pay it? Anyone know?

ask the school why they are accusing you of lying - don't beat about the bush as happens so often - write a letter and ask why they think you are a liar? Put the situation firmly and politely but bluntly back with the school.

Just marking my place in that they would take that tone with you.

If you have any lawyer friends, I'd be tempted to write a solicitor's letter pointing out that they're libeling you.

They are not libelling her. A letter is deemed to be private information. If they pinned it to the school notice board perhaps...

This is nothing to do with Gove or the government, that is holidays not sick days. Some nasty little mum at school has probably got the wrong end of the stick from gossip and dobbed her in. The school need to tell the OP who has reported this 'holiday'. Out of interest OP is your son friends with any of the 'mummy mafia' kids - the ones who are PTA, Classroom assistants, dinner ladies, etc?
Also have you asked your son what he told his friends about why he was off - children do make up some wonderful stories?

If you have any lawyer friends, I'd be tempted to write a solicitor's letter pointing out that they're libeling you.

They aren't. Libel would involve publication, which hasn't occurred, and under the Defamation Act 2013 requires a test of "serious harm" to reputation which wouldn't be reached in this case. It's bad enough when schools start throwing around laws they don't understand to make threats they can't execute. Don't compound it by advising the OP to do the same.

At the moment, the OP has the moral high ground, and can use "I'm telling you X, if you disagree, see you in court" quite reasonably. Throwing around empty threats of libel actions shifts that moral balance, and the school might quite properly say "if you are contemplating legal action, we cannot discuss this further without reference to our solicitors, please deal with them" and the OP would just be left looking rather silly. She would also be open to an action for costs, which she would lose.

"I'll sue you for libel" ranks very low down the risk of plausible threats, to put it mildly.

I'd be furious if the school accused me of lying and then could not offer me an appointment till Wednesday.

That is not how to make friends and gives the school a bad reputation. Communication and trust is so important in a school.

Great advice here for the OP.
I just want to echo the point that this must result in a cost to the school. There must be visible retraction and a certain amount of hoop-jumping etc, some embarrassment and a reasonable amount of time put into detailed admin.

this is not just petty point-scoring because it MUST be proven that taking this sort of line is not to their advantage. I suspect that someone somewhere has taken the misguided view that to investigate every case will ultimately be a net benefit, because some of them will prove positive and the negative ones won't matter. This has to be challenged. Negative outcomes MUST cause them a massive headache to discourage this sort of crap.

I agree that someone who doesn't understand the full picture has probably jumped to a conclusion because of the funeral. (actually it is a completely different profile because people who tell the truth and do what they want anyway are completely different from people who lie about things - anyone who has ever managed anyone or, in fact, knows anyone, knows this, so it is a complete misunderstanding of the situation, but there you go)
I would poke around a LOT at "led to believe". That implies (perhaps not correctly, but still) that someone has done some leading. If you have no enemies (lemon drizzle cake, anyone?) then it could just be a clumsy turn of phrase. But all the same, poke around in that question and give them an almighty headache. Poke around legally, with the data protection law on your side.

go into a full interrogation of the sickness policy. point out its complete lack of mention of proof. ask whether other people have been asked to provide proof. ask how you will be able to prove not just that your child has vomitted, but when, in order to demonstrate adherence to the 48 hour rule. tear it to bits to the point that they are forced to admit that the whole thing operates on trust and the notion of proof is meaningless. then ask them what they would like you to do next time your child is sick, and if they foolishly suggest you take them to the GP and get a note, ask them to write this into an updated policy for the whole school and ask them to make sure the GPs are set up to do this, as they aren't now for all the reasons given above, and ask them how it will be funded as there is a cost for a sick note, and point out that unless this is a policy for the whole school it is victimisation. Keep dragging them back to having to admit that the system runs on trust and then ask them how they foster a relationship of trust between parents and the school.

And someone up-thread is paying a fine of £60 for a child with chickenpox? I'd be contacting my local MP over that.

My children have had all the normal childhood illnesses and we've visited doctors 3 times in total. Never for D & V nor chickenpox. Who wants to spread these through a GP's waiting room? The system the schools are asking parents to use simply doesn't exist.:- we are constantly exhorted not to go to the GP, to use the pharmacist, to self medicate.

sherbetpips actually yes it does have everything to do with gove and the changes to the law. the changes are in relation to "absence from school" that's how they are headed both in the law and all the discussion documents and background papers. Its not about holidays its about being absent. the reason they are linked is that so many parents would just say "oh well , if I cant have Friday off for the long weekend holiday we will take it as a sick day" you would then see the number of term time holidays go down but with a corresponding increase in the number of sick days. schools have been told to clamp down on all absences because of it. the two are inextricably linked. the head is clearly taking this line because the OP previously took her child out for a day which was unauthorised. the school coded it as such and now know that Ofsted and the LEA will be looking at all future absences of any kind that this child takes.

Wow, mildred! You ROCK!!!!

OP I'm not sure what I am more horrified by! The original letter to you or the terrible way you have been dealt with since. Just appalling!

More power to your elbow in taking this further. I hope you're logging all your contact with them...and their lack of contact with you!

Just as an aside, are you on FB? Did you post a status update on one of those two days? If you did it'll show your location....

I am just so on your behalf. What a waste of time and resources, not to mention the lack of trust, and the breakdown in relationship with the school. Grrrr

Reading this in utter shock. Good luck to you WeAreEternal, don't let them fob you off.

I don't know what shocks me more

accusing you of taking your child on holiday when he was ill

or how impossible it is for you to see the HT/ someone in charge.

I would seriously consider changing schools.

mummymeister the issue isnt that the child was off, its that the school have accused her of lying and being on holiday when she wasnt.

Either you were on holiday or you were not.

They either have proof or they don't. You say you were not and they claim to have proof.

The least they can do is sit down with you and either put up or shut up and apologise. In writing.

What can you write?

Dear HT,

My child was off on X dates due to D&V. What you are led to believe is bollocks and you know it which is why you won't speak to me.

Love Eternal.

No?

How about;

Dear xxxxx,

During the night of X date, DS had D&V. The schools policy and the NHS infection guidelines state that in these cases a child or adult should not return to a communal workplace or area for at least 24/48 after the last normal stool or last vomit.

I rang the school on the morning of X date and spoke to Y person to inform them due to D&V DS would not be attending school that day. He returned to school at y time on X date.

He has not been absent since that day.

On X date I received a letter asking me to 'prove' my DS was ill as you 'are led to believe' that we were on holiday at X place during this time.

I did not attend the surgery with my DS as his illness was a run of the mill bug, and because NHS guidelines state to remain away from communal areas due to the risk of infection.

The statement 'led to believe' is not a statement of fact and therefore you are asking me to prove something which you do not have counterproof against.

I requested to discuss this with a member of school staff at y time on Friday 8th November 2013. I was informed to ring them as they were unavailable. I rang and was told I would get a call back. I did not receive a call on Friday.

On the morning of Monday 11th November 2013 at y time I came into school to once again request a discussion with regards the letter. I was told no-one was available and I had to ring the person. I rang and was once again told no-one was available until Wednesday 13th November.

I rang on X date at y time with a statement of fact - my DS was ill and would be absent from school. I hereby ask you to provide the information which has led you to believe I am not telling the truth.

I will give you one week from my sending this letter to reply with the information or to correct DS register to authorised absence due to illness (code I).
If I have not received this information or proof that DS absence has been recorded correctly by this date I will be contacting the LEA for a copy of his records under the freedom of information act and to be lodging a formal complaint.

Yours Faithfully
Eternal.

I am confused. I thought the child had to be absent for a period of 10 sessions (5 days) in a term, OR the parents and child were caught together, not in school on a school day.

How can the school threaten to fine for absence of 4 sessions?

This is crazy. I would definitely write, as they have contacted you by letter, a rebuttal in writing feels like the most appropriate response. I'd say write it today, including all the wonderful advice you have been given, and drop it in after school. That way when you see them on Wednesday the ball is in their court to respond to it. Don't wait til the meeting to say what you want to - you'll be much more eloquent in writing than you will be in person because they'll talk back in person, but you can get your whole point across on the page! Good luck!

I'd go for the first letter. Short and to the point.