AIBU? DS was ill and the school have marked it as an unauthorised holiday and are threatening to fine me!

[WeAreEternal]

A couple of weeks ago DS (7) had an upset stomach, he D&V over night and most of the next day.
First thing in the morning (a Thursday) I called the school and let them know he was ill.
He was feeling better by the evening but as he had D&V school policy is 24 hours off, so I kept him off Friday too.

I received a letter from to school yesterday saying that those days have been marked as an unauthoried holiday as "although we received a phone call from you stating that (DS) was ill, we are led to believe that DS was in fact on a holiday to XXXX on these two dates"

The letter goes on to say that if he was genuinely ill they expect me to provide evidence such as a doctors appointment card, a prescription, a medication receipt or something simmilar that can "verify my version of events".

I am a medical professional, I know when when my DS needs medication or to see a GP or when he just has a bit of a stomach bug and needs rest and fluids.
Who would take a child to the GP or buy medication for D&V anyway?

How on earth can I prove that DS was ill?
And why are they even querying this?
AIBU to think this is bloody ridiculous?

Anyone have any ideas?

Good luck tomorrow with any communications you might have with them.

Could it be that the op really annoyed them by taking her DS to the funeral against their wishes or they put her on some kind of blacklist of parents who might be sneaky trouble makers

Or, they could simply have made a mistake based on false information.

I know that sounded a bit paranoid but there is just something kind of creepy about the school getting information about the OP and asking her to provide evidence, they aren't the police. And schools never had the power to issue fines before. I don't like it.

I'm not sure if it's actually the school that issues the fines, or just that they dob you in to the LA who issue them.

Can't believe that this is going on. No fines or anything up in Scotland, holidays still authorised, parents believed when they phone in to say their child is sick...

It takes a lot for any action to be taken - I've only once ever known an attendance officer to be called.

I was going to make that point too roughtyping : as a pedantic point it is not the UK which has just inflexible policies.

I hope you get this sorted. Don't allow the staff to bully you.

Not really an update but...

I went into the office after dropping DS off. I asked to speak to someone, said I was happy to wait, but was told I needed to phone or make an appointment if I really felt that I need to see someone.
The earliest appointment she could offer me is Wednesday!
She then made a sarcastic comment about how I should just phone as she told me to on Friday. (Except I did call Friday and nobody called me back!)

So I left the office and phoned, to be told that the person is unavailable at present and will have to call me back.

So we shall see if that happens.

wow they are really giving you the run around aren't they?
I think I would be detailing all this in a letter to the head by now.

macro - "Why are people so amazed that the school doesn't believe a parent who says their child is ill?" - because the flip side of this is to assume/believe all parents are lying when reporting their child sick, which is a ridiculous place to start from. Surely they should be believing the parent/reported illness until it is proved otherwise, rather than assuming everyone is lying?

I find this outrageous!
I haven't read the whole thread & am horrified that you need to prove you were not on holiday. However did you make any phone calls on the landline those days? Or could you get proof from your mobile provider that you were not away? I think iPhones can easily show where you were & when.
I hope you get this sorted out today. I'd also consider changing schools if that's an option as I'm not sure id be able to look at the HT in the same light again.

If I was you I would have refused to leave until they let me speak to someone. And I'm not a particularly bolshy person!

please don't blame the head teacher for this. this is Gove's work. he is systematically destroying the relationship between teachers and parents. there was absolutely no need to change the law on allowing parents 10 days holiday. not only has he done this but he has changed the Ofsted inspection regime. they are questioning all coded absences particularly if a pupil has an authorised code. what has happened is the OP has had one day off unauthorised and now everything she does will be looked at with suspicion. marvellous way to build trust between school and parents. heads are being bullied by Ofsted so they in turn are passing this on to parents because its all about absences now. anyone reading this post with outrage needs to think firstly it could be me in future and secondly needs to write to their MP and the lovely Mr Gove and tell them why this whole policy sucks. its causing uproar now but just wait until the middle of next year when it beds in a lots of people get letters like this. protest now and get him to change his mind.

At this juncture, OP, I would be inclined to keep everything in writing.

This is a great example of how schools can be really really crap. Children and families are not a box ticking exercise, get over it and stop trying to make everyone's lives more complicated than they already are.

Next time just take him in with the bug stay with him until he has vomited all over the school office.

I used to get the same thing with antibiotic meds. They refused to administer them, the child can't take them alone, YOU have to go in and administer the lunchtime dose. The HT even said to me 'well it's not as if you are working'. (I was, she assumed I wasn't).

For some schools, 'inclusive' is an adjective rather than a commitment. They do nothing for children with needs outside what is on a statement. This is why I am actually anti-statement and pro accountability. But that's another argument.

passedgo as you feel so strongly I hope you are now e mailing your MP and copying it in to Gove. if all the people on MN who are completely fed up with this change e mailed their MP, told them they wouldn't vote for them again and also e mailed Gove this law would be changed. Gove has done it before and will do it again but only if we all kick up a stink about it. what's he and his fellow MPs most worried about? not getting voted in. so we should be focussing out attention on worrying them imo.

Letter to the head teacher - include details of the stupid run around you are being given right now.

Copy of the letter to the governors.

Include in the letter the fact that you are keeping/sending copies of letters, and to whom you are sending them.

I'd also include the fact that if the response is unsatisfactory then the next port of call (with the letters) is going to be the LEA.

I thought Gove just changed the authorised holiday thing?

Sorry if I've missed something.

passedgo as you feel so strongly I hope you are now e mailing your MP and copying it in to Gove.

The school behaving like arses is only tangentially related to the policy Gove put in place. Most schools don't behave like this. The OP's does. That's the school's problem.

That's a good idea about putting it in writing.

So any tips on whqt I should write?

I like the previous suggestions of quoting the schools own policy in regards to D&V and the NHS advice.

Any other suggestions?

Definitely put it in writing and include a log of each date and time you have tried to speak to someone and been sent away from the office or left a message and not been called back.

Don't let the school make you feel you have to 'prove' you were not on holiday. It's for them to show that you were or at the very least there are reasonable grounds for suspecting that you were, and say what those grounds are.

Could you find out who deals with this at LEA level? I'd be tempted to copy that person/dept. in even at this stage. They'll very likely have bigger fish to fry, and might say so to the Head.

Well, i love writing a stiff letter :)

I would stick to facts. The first 3 paragraphs of your OP would be a perfect opener for the letter.

I wouldn't get involved with saying about you being a medical practitioner.

Your 2nd post would be good after that. It sticks to the point.

Then set out the steps you have taken to speak to someone at the school. Include the receptionists snotty reply. As you have told us here.

Then say you are keeping copies of all letters, and that you are sending a copy of this letter to the governors.

Good stroppy letter writing dictates that somewhere you must say what you want to happen next. So ... appt. with HT asap i think, and some kind of retraction of these accusations they are making.

When writing keep the letter as short and icily factual and formal as possible. State that you followed their procedure for reporting and could not get and cannot now get medical evidence, but don't give detail. State that you have tried to speak to the person dealing with your case but they have failed to get back to you as promised. Ask what leads them to believe you were on holiday.
When complaining I like to ask questions that they then have to answer - then when they don't respond you have a further point to add to your side. So here I would ask what evidence is required for a D & V absence of 48 hours, also what the school considers is an appropriate response time to an enquiry, i.e. when should this person have phoned you back. I usually say at the end that I would like a response within 3 working days or I will escalate the complaint.

Call again, tell them that you would like a copy of the school complaints policy and procedure which you will collect when you come into school this afternoon together with the name and contact details for the Chair of Governors. Tell them that you now wish to start a complaint and they should take your phone call as formal notification of this, you do not have to put this in writing.

Most procedures are pretty similar and say you should try to resolve it with the person concerned. However, as you have not been allowed to speak to the person concerned ie, whoever signed the letter which was sent to you, you now consider you are at the next stage of the process. This means that you escalate to the HT with a copy of a written complaint to the Chair of Governors. Follow the procedure to the letter and keep them to the timeframe.

To be perfectly frank, it would seem that a member of the office has gone into overdrive and has exceeded there authority. Yes, this has been foisted on schools... I spent nearly an hour discussing this with my GB back in July when we, as a GB rejected it to discover a couple of weeks later that the DfE had introduced it. Absence due to illness should be dealt with sensitively and no-one should be accused of telling untruths. As to evidencing it with GP certs, we all know that most GPs are too busy to undertake this and there is nothing in law which requires you to do this. When you have appointment letters, it is polite to share them but it is not a given, even though it may be local practice and custom. Your word should be sufficient.

eek... I used a "there" when I meant "their"