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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to feel that my feelings have been hurt by a 4 year old!

29 replies

ElleBelly · 07/11/2013 16:15

At school pick up today I overheard a little boy in Dd's foundation class telling his mum "I don't like that one with the short hair" and pointing at me. She went very red and told him to sssh and I looked away as I was embarrassed too. I know kids say stuff, but I feel a bit hurt, his mum is friendly enough to smile and say hi to, and I smile at him if we pass as I'm dropping DD off,but I've never even spoken to him, so why doesn't he like me? Do I look horrible and scary? Am I ridiculous to feel hurt by a 4 year old?! (Obviously yes, but sleep deprivation is making me a bit sensitive!)

OP posts:
squoosh · 07/11/2013 16:25

YABU

Kids and old people have no filter, it's the perk of their job. Grin

Next week he'll love you, they're nothing if not fickle.

Greensleeves · 07/11/2013 16:30

YANBU I would have felt hurt too

But kids get bees in their bonnets about the weirdest things, I'm sure you don't look horrible and scary!

Greensleeves · 07/11/2013 16:31

you probably look vaguely similar to someone on an advert for a food he doesn't like or something

kids are bonkers

Timeforabiscuit · 07/11/2013 16:32

Bit twitish of the mum not to pick up in it and say it was a rude thing to say!

Kids regularly say things that open holes in the ground but I don't think yabu- you're not made of stone

cherylwebb · 07/11/2013 16:35

My daughter does that to her dad all the time,shes very much a mummys girl n will tell her dad she doesn't like him wont kiss him goodnight and is generally quite nasty I no it gets to him but the next day she can love him n want to hold his hand n crys when he leaves for work,kids r so fickle and most of the time theres no reason behind there like or dislike of someone they just open there mouth n stuff comes out that they dont even no why they say it. Im sure your certainly not scary n like someone else said he will like you next week

Original poster
ElleBelly · 07/11/2013 18:26

Hah thanks ladies. I sometimes think it'd be nice to say exactly what I thought all the time! My dd has given me her fair share of ground swallow me up moments to be fair.

OP posts:
TheBreastmilksOnMe · 07/11/2013 18:34

My daughter does this and it's highly embarrassing. She 2 1/2 and will randomly take against people she's never even met before, saying in a loud voice and pointing 'no like her'. I just roll my eyes at the poor, offended person and say 'it's not personal, she says it to everyone she's never met before' whilst cringing inside and dragging dd away.

Please don't take it to heart op, kids judge people on random things like hair colour, facial features, or looking like someone they don't particularly like. Try and forget it, he may be a little brat anyway and just trying to get a reaction.

complexnumber · 07/11/2013 18:37

You probably satisfy all his criteria for being a wicked witch.

Original poster
ElleBelly · 07/11/2013 18:40

Yes but I don't know how?! I don't think I look like a witch...

OP posts:
Lilacroses · 07/11/2013 18:42

Yanbu....well yabu in a way because kids do say things like that at times but it is hurtful! My Dp is a large black woman in a very white area...when Dd was small lots of her friends were scared of her! Even though she understood but since she is a really caring lovely person who loves kids she found it hurtful.

BadgerBumBag · 07/11/2013 18:44

Dd pointed to a man and said he 'Looks mean and silly and I want him to go away now.' She had never met him in her life... it hurts but they don't mean it

SabrinaMulhollandJjones · 07/11/2013 19:13

When my dsis was about 3, mum took us to visit her oldest friends - We'll call them Carol and John. Dsis spent the whole afternoon howling that 'she didn't like John' and 'John must go away' - mum was mortified.

'John' was apparently upset too - as he had always prided himself on being a nice person who was good with children - so Yanbu.

Original poster
ElleBelly · 07/11/2013 19:22

Oh kids are strange. DP says maybe he doesn't like my tattoos, but Im sure when his dad dropped him off I noticed he had some. Anyway, going to stop as over thinking. I hope I don't look like a witch as I'm a school nurse, so work with kids a lot and don't want them to think I'm scary!

OP posts:
NotMeNotYouNotAnyone · 07/11/2013 19:33

A small child told my friend she had a witches nose! Friend saw the funny side fortunately!

Original poster
ElleBelly · 07/11/2013 19:37

Hah well I have a sizeable conk so maybe that's it...

OP posts:
Echocave · 07/11/2013 19:39

OP, never fear, children do seen to say this sort of stuff quite randomly. There was a thread on here the other day (was it in Chat?) about hilarious/embarrassing things children say. Some of it was really embarrassing for the parent. DD (just about to turn 2) asked a young female friend of mine the other day why she had a beard (!). I have no idea why except that she'd seen a beard in a book recently. The woman in question does not have facial hair!

I was quick to point that out though so she didn't feel too embarrassed.

NoIHaventHadTheBabyYet · 07/11/2013 19:43

Theres a mumsnet classics thread where a child told his mum she might be pretty if she had straight hair and a different face.
Kids are strange. And mean.

GrandstandingBlueTit · 07/11/2013 19:44

Bit twitish of the mum not to pick up in it and say it was a rude thing to say!

That's a bit unfair - it probably all happened so quickly and the Mum herself was mortified.

You're on the spot, and the last thing you want to do is put your foot in it by saying the wrong conciliatory thing and make it worse.

OP - YANBU to feel hurt by it, but as everyone says, he'll have changed his mind by the next time he sees you. :)

katese11 · 07/11/2013 19:52

My ds did this to our new lodger when he was 3.5ish - fixed him with a stare and said "I don't yike Ed" even though Ed had been nothing but nice to him. In that context, he didn't like his mummy having an adult conversation instead of pandering to his every 3yo whim. I was soooo embarrassed!

Mim78 · 07/11/2013 20:07

Don't be upset by it. As others have pointed out children have no filter and he probably didn't even mean it - they say first thing that comes into their head at that age.

I thought you were going to say you'd been hurt by own DC which wouldn't be unreasonable I imagine.

Kids do really hurtful things like pick up on a physical characteristic an adult might be sensitive about and point it out - like the big nose example above. This isn't even in that category. Don't give it another thought.

Fairenuff · 07/11/2013 20:12

Ah, young children change their minds for a pastime. They like you one minute and not the next, don't take it seriously.

A child in my class told me last week that her mum doesn't like me Grin

ilovecolinfirth · 07/11/2013 20:44

YABU... You should have shouted 'I don't like you too!!! Nya nya nya nya" (and stick your tongue out). Seriously though, kids say all sorts and think all sorts. Don't take it too seriously.

Amy106 · 07/11/2013 21:57

You are not unreasonable to feel hurt but it really isn't you. It's just a little kid who said something without thinking things through. Kids are like that sometimes.

FergusSingsTheBlues · 07/11/2013 22:01

Yes, YANBU.

My son read the word "fat" on a weetabix box and my pride dissolved a second later when he said "you have lots of fat, mummy...you are a FATTY mummy!"

WorraLiberty · 07/11/2013 22:03

We still take the piss out of my 21 year old DS over a similar comment he made when he was 4 years old Grin

His Reception teacher introduced a student teacher and explained that she's be helping in class for a week.

Everyone 'sang' Gooood morniiiiing Miss so and so...

Except for my son...he burst into tears and said "I don't like her. I want to go home!!" Shock

To this day he remembers it but still has no idea why he didn't like her Confused

Mind you, he missed her when she left and made her a card Grin

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