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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Term time holidays

30 replies

Qabroad · 07/11/2013 10:22

My children live in UK & I live and work abroad. This year the children go back to school on Thursday 2nd January after Xmas and I was hoping they could come and see me from Saturday 28th December till Saturday 4th January, which is the only realistic time when travel arrangements can be made.

I asked the school for permission for the children to take 2 days off for this, and asked their Mother if this was OK.

Firstly their Mother said they couldn't, which didn't come as a great surprise (not because of school though).

Next I get an email from school saying my request for a 'family holiday' had been refused.

Seems absolutely ridiculous to me. Surely it's hardly unreasonable for kids to see their Dad at that time of year. Sad:

OP posts:

redexpat · 07/11/2013 10:41

Do you follow current affairs of the UK? I think (am sure MN will correct me if I am wrong) that children are no longer allowed time off school for holidays during term time. There is a fine per child per parent per day. This is why your wife is refusing.

If it's the best time to travel why don't you come to the UK and see them outside of school hours?

Mim78 · 07/11/2013 13:50

When does their holiday start? There must be some time earlier in the holiday when they could come. Schools aren't going to listen to "it's too expensive at that time" arguments because that could apply to anyone and then you have them all off all the time.

Tableforfour · 07/11/2013 14:02

which is the only realistic time when travel arrangements can be made.

Why can't arrangements be made a couple of days earlier?

coppertop · 07/11/2013 14:04

Why don't you visit them instead?

They get to see you and don't miss any school.

HuglessDouglas · 07/11/2013 14:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mylovelyboy · 07/11/2013 19:03

I think its bloody ridiculous. What is wrong with 2 days. Its hardly going to affect their education. Its a shame you are up against the mother and the school. If you could try and explain and persuade the mother and tell her how important this is to you then you will be ok. With regard to the school I would have left mentioning it to them until the last moment and if the mother agreed then they could have had a sicky from school. Its only two days. I know loads of people who take their kids out for one weeks holiday. Its not instant fine, its the decision of the school at the end of the day. I did phone Education Authority and they confirmed this. In this instance you live abroad so exceptions should be made. Your kids are only young once. All the best.

Merguez · 07/11/2013 19:05

Just do it and pay the fine.

Mylovelyboy · 07/11/2013 19:11

Merguez - I agree with you. Its a non issue. Its the mother that might stop it though. Dont worry about the school. You will not get a fine for two days off. Really hope you get to see your kids

LaurieFairyCake · 07/11/2013 19:15

Why can't you just see them for a shorter time or move it to within the school holiday

livinginwonderland · 07/11/2013 19:18

Come to the UK and see them here.

HRHLadyG · 07/11/2013 19:20

A) Make sure they are back in time for school.

B) Visit them here?

You seem to be questioning the term 'family holiday', but that it is what it is.

ThePinkOcelot · 07/11/2013 19:21

Just do it. Its only 2 days not 2 weeks. Its bloody pathetic.

meditrina · 07/11/2013 19:24

As far as the school is concerned, you could just miss it, and pay the fine if one is raised (and be nice and ay EW's fine too, as it can be levied against both parents).

But I think you have a greater problem as the RP has not consented, and in a worse case could seek to prohibit their travel. Would you be able to come and see them here?

lborolass · 07/11/2013 19:26

You've been caught by the "new" rules. Whatever the childrens mother thinks the school can't authorise holiday leave any more.

lifeinthefastlane1 · 07/11/2013 19:45

you only get fined if its more than 4 days....10 x unauthorised absences 2 per day.

lifeinthefastlane1 · 07/11/2013 19:47

just means they will have 2 unauthorised days on there attendance record.

wowfudge · 07/11/2013 19:48

I don't understand why you can't visit them or change the dates to fit in with school. Or why parents can't fit their holidays into school holidays TBH. Teachers can't go on holiday in term time and very many of them have children of their own.

Oblomov · 07/11/2013 19:51

I would just do it. And pay the fine.

gordyslovesheep · 07/11/2013 19:52

Mylovleyboy is wrong - new legislation that came in during the the summer means it is NOT the schools decision - it is not allowed - if the school grants it they have to show exceptional circumstances - like death ! so a half day for a funeral is just about okay

it's not the mum or the school stopping it - it's the Government who brought in the new legislation and fines system

Mylovelyboy · 07/11/2013 19:54

OP needs the mother on side, might be difficult by the sound of it. Its really ridiculous over two bloody days. If you do get the mother on side then just phone in sick. Dont worry about the fact you asked for those days holiday. Let them prove the kids were not ill. I think this has been been made a big issue by the mother and school when really there is no issue there. Life if too short to worry about 2 poxy days out of school

Mylovelyboy · 07/11/2013 19:58

Gordy I see your point. I did not realise this new legislation came in over the summer. So all they have to do is phone the school when the time comes and say they dont feel well. Its no big deal really.

Mylovelyboy · 07/11/2013 20:00

Gordy if you read the thread, it is the mum stopping it

lljkk · 07/11/2013 20:07

It makes my blood boil the govt dictates this.

Fairenuff · 07/11/2013 20:07

The question about the school is irrelevant, surely, if their mother won't let them go

theoriginalandbestrookie · 07/11/2013 20:14

It's a real shame that they go back to school so early.

Normally I don't agree with term time holidays, but think that a little common sense should surely be applied i.e. 1-2 days at the start or end of term are not the end of the world, but if you can't get their DM to agree to it, you are fighting a losing battle.

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