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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not make her a seperate meal?

827 replies

fairy1303 · 06/11/2013 17:05

DSD lives here full time.

She is currently having a massive meltdown because I have told her we are having... shock horror... CASSEROLE for dinner.

We have this about once a month, it's cheap, easy, healthy.
I know she doesn't like it.

I have said that is what we are having, no I won't make a seperate meal.
She is telling me not to serve her any. She doesn't want it. She is crying because she 'isn't allowed any dinner'. She has phoned MIL to tell her. She is about to phone my mum to tell her too. She has phoned daddy at work to tell him.

Now, I'm pretty strict. I'm also aware of the wsm stuff.

AIBU to say: that is what we are having. There will be nothing else?

Or am I being too hard on her?

She's 8

OP posts:
Joysmum · 07/11/2013 09:07

You sound like a great parent fairy, not that you need anyone's approval!

I feel sorry for those who haven't experience a truly great casserole.

Whatelseisthere · 07/11/2013 09:09

What a fabulously British thread!

'I'm feeding my family cheap stuff in a pot called casserole. They can like it or lump it.'

'Me too. I don't have time to pander to the over privileged whims of a child who doesn't like casserole.'

'Me too. I ate soil and ring pulls growing up and it made me the no-nonsense one-meal-for-all woman I am today.'

Where I come from, it's very different.

The food is delicious but it's not the whole point of having a meal. We want everyone, guests and family, to feel welcome and enjoy what they're eating. There's always bread and salad if you don't fancy the main offering.

Thanks for such a giggle though.

Grennie · 07/11/2013 09:13

I don't think parents should be making separate meals for children. But it seems very harsh to cook her a meal you know she doesn't like.

Grennie · 07/11/2013 09:14

Would you cook your DP a meal you know he doesn't like?

ToysRLuv · 07/11/2013 09:15

Whatelseisthere: Totally agree.

BrianTheMole · 07/11/2013 09:16

Btw, calling someone a hysterical shrew is rude and misogynist.

Well I doubt the intention was to be polite Wink

squoosh · 07/11/2013 09:16

If you don't like to be described as a hysterical shrew then stop acting like one. Your posts have been way over the top.

SO happy to help.

5madthings · 07/11/2013 09:18

i already said earlier on i would not have cooken an alternative. it wasnt somethung the child hated, its something she doesnt really like, there is a difference.

if i gave ds4 what he liked everyday he would eat beans on toast everyday...oddly enough thats not ok.

if i made meals that only my kids like i would be making a bunch of diff meals each night, thats not happening some night they get a fave other nights it will be something that they are not fussed by etc. they help with meal planning so they do get a say in what we eat but they dont dictate.

5madthings · 07/11/2013 09:18

and what laqueen said.

BrianTheMole · 07/11/2013 09:18

Would you cook your DP a meal you know he doesn't like?
Yes, if we didn't have much else. But then he wouldn't be such a big baby about it either, he'd just get on and eat it. Or take the sandwich option.

Grennie · 07/11/2013 09:22

There is a difference between someone being fussy, and someone genuinely not liking something. I wouldn't expect my DP to make something I didn't actually like.

ToysRLuv · 07/11/2013 09:22

Squoosh, I am only disagreeing, and arguing/explaining my point - but there you go. At least I'm not a name-calling misogynist.

BrianTheMole · 07/11/2013 09:26

Actually, no, you're quite rude yourself toys.

diddl · 07/11/2013 09:29

I think it's easily solved by getting her more involved in future-if she's interested, of course.

The meal didn't sound appetising to me-until cous cous was served with it. Grin

The phoning people was OTT.

But we all have days when we don't quite fancy the meal on offer, don't we?

So it's not that hard to make a few sympathetic noises is it?

As well as explaining that that is all there is?

My kids sometimes moan-but if they've had the chance of input & given none, that's too bad!

I also try to vary stuff that they don't like to make it into stuff they do.

ToysRLuv · 07/11/2013 09:31

How? By disagreeing with OP's approach and saying that I would not have liked to eat her "casserole" either? That is an opinion- just what AIBU was made for. "Hysterical shrew" - not so much.

I would not in RL tell someone I disagree with their parenting methods or that they quite possibly can't cook. But the OP has asked AIBU.

Grennie · 07/11/2013 09:39

And I eat almost anything. I don't fancy the sound of your casserole personally.

BrianTheMole · 07/11/2013 09:43

Well I could go back and repost some of your posts for you, but I that would mean I would have to take time out to read them again. It wouldn't enhance my life in any way, shape or form to do that to myself. So I won't bother.

Onefewernow · 07/11/2013 09:49

Mine can be fussy about the odd thing. It's allowed.

But mostly I serve one meal and they eat the bits they want.

I have five kids and a pt job, so it's the only way to stay sane.

They do think some other kids who come for tea are funny because they are so fussy about so much.

Like someone said upthread, meals and taste are cultural.

ToysRLuv · 07/11/2013 09:52

Sure, brian. I think you might mean the posts where I explain why I think totally ignoring children's feelings about food might not be good for them. Highly controversial..

Onefewernow · 07/11/2013 09:55

Also, there are extremes on both sides if the argument .

People who force kids to eat what they hate are wrong and mean. People who pander to their kids every food whim are doing them no favours at all.

I not saying this is a good thing- it isn't- but it is at least interesting that neither of the Eastern European aupairs we had in the past had even heard of "not liking " it. They were genuinely curious, rather than judgey.

squoosh · 07/11/2013 10:05

Toys you are giving me proper belly laughs. What about the posts where you provided a melodramatic narrative to the eating of the meal? Even though you weren't there.

You have been so rude to the OP as you are well aware.

BrianTheMole · 07/11/2013 10:05

No not that toys. Utilitarian slop is one comment that springs to mind. But really, I'm not going to read your posts for a second time just to prove a point and continue debate with you. Because its not that important to me. This is really the dying dregs of the thread now isn't it.

ToysRLuv · 07/11/2013 10:15

Glad I could help. I tend to only laugh at properly funny things, but your sense of humour certainly makes for very jolly existence!

Well, calling that "casserole" a slop is not nice, I will admit, but that is what it is, essentially. No recipe, bunging things together indiscriminately does not a casserole make. Veggie food can be very nice.

LittleBearPad · 07/11/2013 10:22

Well done Fairy - it sounded fine to me and I think there's been a lot of hysteria on this thread. Plus how frequently do AIBU OP's not think they're being unreasonable.

Finally I'm going to chuck grips liberally around in the hope certain posters pick them up. Talk about projection!

IorekByrnisonsArmour · 07/11/2013 10:23

Brian,Squoosh - head hurt much??

I had to go to bed last night it really was like banging your head against a brick wall Grin

Well said Fairy, the brothers Grimm really do have a lot to answer for Flowers