I'd like to ask people not to use the word 'Aspie'.

[DavyCrockett]

I find it really offensive.

To me it is like calling someone with Downs Syndrome a 'Downie'.

Am I being unreasonable? I ask as it seems acceptable in a lot of places and I honestly don't think it is.

I totally agree Maryz.

I do see Aspergers as a disability but only because we have to live in a neurotypical world. We are in fact differently abled. Einstein and Newton were almost certainly both on the spectrum as is Bill Gates.

Yes, we're all proud of it here and view it as a positive thing, even though others don't always see it that way.

hmmmm

I do see aspergers as a disability, the world is not going to change to fit folk on the spectrum anytime soon.

DP and I are trying to come up with ways of helping relative with aspergers as his world is becoming smaller and smaller - he stays up all night watching TV/internet and cataloguing programmes and occasionally signs on.
He lives with his elderly parents. This would fine if it wasn't for the fact that he will sooner or later, have to find himself somewhere to live and support himself. And at the moment, at the age of 32, he doesn't want to face this.

So in an ideal world, he would be supported have somewhere nice to live which would reduce his social anxiety, in reality he's going to have to get out into the big bad NT world and function in it

(any ideas about how we can help him would be appreciated, he won't discuss it with anyone at all)

Maryz
Asperger Syndrome is still an accepted term. A huge amount of fuss was made, unnecessarily about DSM V removing AS as a diagnosis, but as I say, in the UK we take very little notice of it. He can still put AS down on anything official.

AS no longer recognised?

I haven't read the thread. I don't have a diagnosis of any autistic spectrum disorder (although I would not be remotely surprised if I was found to have something of that kind; however, I have no interest in finding out one way or another). I can't, therefore, refer directly to my own experiences.

Nevertheless, the term 'Aspie' does really bother me. I don't know if it is because it is referring to people as 'being' a condition they have; I don't know if it is acting like it is all so super-cute, when it is not; I don't know if it is because it is used to refer to things which are only vaguely connected to Asperger's Syndrome (lol so aspie lol ). I find it really unpleasant and I wince when I hear it.

(I think my feelings about this might be influenced by the fact that I have OCD, and the references people make to OCD, and especially being OCD [Wow! You are Obsessive Compulsive Disorder? Go you!] , along with the way that the term is tossed around like psychiatric confetti by people with only a vague understanding of what it is, tend to make me very upset. I realise that there are major differences between the two conditions, and I am in no way implying equivalence.)

If you are worried about offending someone by referring to them as an Aspie then use a more "PC" term. Nothing wrong with people describing themselves in that way though.

what is a more PC term?

Person with autism/Aspergers maybe? That's probably what those who don't advocate the term Aspie would use.

The first time I read on MN " I have an aspie." I thought it was a breed of dog. So I don't think it is polite. My DS has AS sounds better.

ProudAS Wed 06-Nov-13 14:05:12

Janey the term Aspie was invented by and for people with the condition.

It is not a label - it is about being special. Our minds work differently and we are proud of how they work.

If we "Aspies" don't have a problem with it then why should anyone else? Political correctness gone mad!
__

THIS is why I object to it.

You are describing 'us' as a discrete group of people with ONE BELIEF. This encourages others to as well.

I have AS and I don't want to use the term. You have AS and do want to use it.

And I do have a problem with it but then - maybe I'm not an 'Aspie' anyway? Maybe that term only describes those with AS who like being called Aspies....

You have really kind of shot your argument in the foot with that post. iyswim

Athelstane since a change of school placement 2 yrs ago we have seen a massive reduction in violent incidents, this is due to the simple fact that he is now in a school where the knowledge and understanding of AS is important, and there for the anxiety/distress has been greatly reduced, and we are now seeing the true side of Asperger's. The social skills are now improving and he is less likely to lash out in frustration because his understanding of socially acceptable responses is growing.

However a child I know still calls him a f***g Aspie arsehole.

Plus I don't think of myself as special in any way.

Different perhaps to someone without AS in some ways

but not 'special'.

I have AS. I use the term to describe myself sometimes. I would never use it to describe someone else with Aspergers, because I have heard it used as an insult ("Are you aspie or something?" when in an argument). I personally don't like NT's using the term ^because* of these experiences. I guess it's similar to the 'N' word being used by white folk v black folk - it can be used with either connotation by either group but is probably best avoided by people it doesn't concern due to mixed feelings about the term.

DavyCrockett. You are a person with Aspergers who doesnt like people calling you an aspie.
Others or/and their children have Aspergers and do like the term.
Everyone is entitled to their opinion.

So yes, going back to your op, you can find it offensive.
And yes, you can ask people you know in rl not to call you aspie.
but no, you cant ask other people with it not to use the term about themselves.

Which leaves the question, can you ask the general population not to use the term.
Tricky. I have always wondered where the tipping point with such matters is.
In America at the moment there is a argument running about the name of the American football team the Washington Redskins. It has been called the Redskins for years. Now there has been a survey where 10% of native indians find the name offensive [so presumably 90% do not].At the moment the owner has said no,he isnt going to change the name, but at what tipping point should it be changed. 25% saying they find the name offensive?

Sorry I CBA to RTFT but my son who has Asperger's refers to his 'aspie' traits or behaviours but wouldn't refer to himself as 'an aspie'.

It's a subtle thing but it's the difference between saying 'a dyslexic child' and 'a child with dyslexia'. The second puts the child first. The first statement defines the child by their learning difficulty.

Asperger's is one part of who my son is, but it's not the whole of him. So he is a young man who has Asperger's and aspie traits

Will now RTFT

If we "Aspies" don't have a problem with it then why should anyone else? Political correctness gone mad!

But people with AS on this very thread are telling you that they do have a problem with it. 'Political correctness gone mad' is a phrase usually recognised as an excuse to continue to offend people because you want to use a particular term.

I didn't realise the DSM didn't apply in the UK. Our school has taken 'aspergers' off the paperwork of any children previously diagnosed as such and replaced it with ASD, HFA or social communication disorder, as appropriate. Maybe that is unusual though.

And another thought. Aspie is less of a tease target than 'Ass-burgers' which might be why parents of children/younger teenagers use it? It may seem a bit friendlier sounding too.

I think to not want it being used at all is the unreasonable bit, to not want people to use it in conversation with you isn't unreasonable though.

Nobody can tell someone what they should or shouldn't be offended by by though.

If someone with AS does not want to be referred to as an Aspie then they don't have to be. Some of us are happy with the term - please respect our feelings.

Nowhere did I suggest that all Aspies are the same. We are as diverse as NTs.

We are special - everyone is special.

Maybe it is Ok if people only use it to refer to themselves. (or their own children)
If like proudAS they are using it in a way that properly segregates us as a group then I think that's arguably quite wrong. But then that would be wrong if she hadn't used the term Aspie, as well.

Perhaps - people should be free to use it for themselves or their children but not about anyone else, because even if they themselves have AS, other people with AS may not appreciate it.

'Nowhere did I suggest that all Aspies are the same. We are as diverse as NTs.'

You totally did!

'Our minds work differently and we are proud of how they work.'

'If we "Aspies" don't have a problem with it then why should anyone else? '

Can you not see what you did there?

Sorry, I have just realised I changed my name back after my earlier post (after Skully's rant) and hid the thread and went out and came back, and though my posts look pink to me, they won't to you lot - I am the OP.

apols for any confusion, no intention to sock puppet.