I'd like to ask people not to use the word 'Aspie'.

[DavyCrockett]

I find it really offensive.

To me it is like calling someone with Downs Syndrome a 'Downie'.

Am I being unreasonable? I ask as it seems acceptable in a lot of places and I honestly don't think it is.

It's really interesting Dawn, I used to work in an area of mental health, and when I stopped using that kind of terminology it really changed the way I viewed people. I (not long ago) took an online Asbergers test and it recommended that I get assessed (I identify with some of the issues of ubik's friend, but not staying in bed all day).

I looked into it and did some more research and actually think it's around this issue that has put me off - I feel like Davey! I wouldn't mind the diagnosis but don't want to automatically become defined as an Aspie! But it is interesting to hear your points about this Donna, as clearly it's not something that hasn't been thought about in the "Aspie" community.

I am slow at posting so hope the thread hasn't moved on too much.

I didn't know it had closed. I haven't been over there for years.
What happened?

Which test did you take, Nose. I always recommend the CLASS one.
here

Fallout between the two that ran the site and banning people, accusations of bullying. Weird Planet is still going strong, but DD likes AFF.

I hate the word.

I am a person with Asperger's.

I often see self diagnosed people using it online on wrong planet etc. It makes my teeth itch.

Ubik recent research shows that in fact those with AS have a tendency to over empathise.

That's very interesting. My relative was not diagnosed until late 20's and still struggles with expectations that he will conform to the stereotype when his behaviours do not present in a 'tickbox' format.

He has been in tears over perceived social errors, errors that for NT people go almost unnoticed, he worries constantly about the 'right' thing is to do. He has 'self medicated' in social situations by drinking far too much which has resulted in even greater anxiety.

It's irritating when people on here attribute abusive behaviour by husbands to them possibly having aspergers .

Then that is your prerogative, and you set the terms of how you wish to be addressed.

I don't think it was that one, and I can't remember now tbh. Will have a look thank you. It's also been suggested that I might have secondary ptsd, but really not sure about that either!

'It's irritating when people on here attribute abusive behaviour by husbands to them possibly having aspergers'

Yes, that makes me jump up and down and get frothy. ubik.

Mary I am really sorry for using that term. I wasn't sure how else to phrase it. Hands up to that.

I think referring to yourself as something is different to calling other people it iyswim.

And I definately identify with over empathising and struggling to know how to cope with that.

"He has been in tears over perceived social errors, errors that for NT people go almost unnoticed, he worries constantly about the 'right' thing is to do." Could be written about me!

I agree with you. It's too jocular.

But if others choose to define themselves by this term then they are also by default defining me by it, because we share a syndrome

and I have a problem with that.

I feel it disadvantages me.

In what way does the term someone else choses to use to describe their condition define you? If you are going down the line of trying to tell people what terms they can use to describe themselves then surely that will leave a very narrow range of acceptable words as there is the possibility that any term used could offend someone.

If I knew you IRL and I knew it offended you, I wouldn't use it in front of you, even if I was talking about me, because I'd respect your wishes.

Yes. I don't know how to rationalise it.

I don't want to curtail the freedoms of others

I also don't want them to curtail my freedom in the sense that the more people with AS are defined as 'Aspie', the further I lean from admitting that I have it.

How is this sort of problem addressed in the black community? Does anyone know?

But Davy, you are then telling them they cannot define themselves in the way they want to, just because you do not like it!

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Is it a problem which has needed addressing in the black community? (or any other?)

Obviously some words used to describe people become socially unacceptable but generally that is because they have been used in such a negative way they become a derogatory and therefore unacceptable term. Even then though it can often come down to context and people may be happy to describe themselves in a way that others would find offensive OR would be offensive if someone else called them that dependant on context.

Davy how does it disadvantage you?

It's a very personal thing. My friend's son has Aspergers and she likes the term Aspie as does he. She says it's his own "gang" thing...makes the diagnosis friendly for her. You can't tell her and her son not to use the term. So YABU