I'd like to ask people not to use the word 'Aspie'.

[DavyCrockett]

I find it really offensive.

To me it is like calling someone with Downs Syndrome a 'Downie'.

Am I being unreasonable? I ask as it seems acceptable in a lot of places and I honestly don't think it is.

My main reason is it makes me feel like a 'thing', that can be put into a box marked 'Aspies' and it makes it easier for people to categorise me.

It also sounds patronising to me, it reminds me of a little fluffy animal like a tamagochi or something

hideous

Moist said her dd hates it too.

She hates it too.

She also hates being called a retard because she does separate lessons ftom her peers.

I tend to refer to myself as an aspie - I really can't be bothered to say it in full. But I think it is a term that people with ASD can use about themselves (or their children etc) but it's not really appropriate for others to use it. It would be very easy for it to become perjorative, as like Mongol or spastic.

I've come across many, many references to people or their behaviour being described as autistic when they actually mean insensitive. I think long term, aspie is bound to become perjorative.

loads of xposts!

I think if people were going to lump people with AS together and categorise them, they could just as easily do it by referring to 'all people with AS' as with the term aspie.

If I were ever to hear it used negatively I may think differently but at the moment I only know it as an affectionate term which people used to describe themselves or those close to them. I am yet to hear it said by someone about someone else's child or a stranger.

Many terms start off as shortenings but get turned ito insults. I've heard people bandying Aspie around in the same way as spaz or mong, which after all are just shortenings of medical terms.

I also think it is in part a product of a lack of understanding of AS in that people with it have had to find an easy-to-say word to describe it to the masses

that is depressing in itself

You do raise a fair point that it could be used negatively, but equally calling somebody autistic/ saying they're on the spectrum could be said in a negative tone. Anything could be said negatively.

I think if you don't like the term, then of course you should feel able to tell people not to use it when referring to you. But for a lot of people it's not negative, it's just shorthand, and actually can be quite a positive/relaxed way to describe a particular way of experiencing the world.

In your shoes I think I'd try not to get offended by it, people will describe themselves however they want.

Sorry - outdated medical terms (but still used in many other countries)

Using a term 'affectionately' is patronising in itself.

It implies a context of 'Bless him, he can't do such and such but it's just because he's an Aspie'

It's so horrible. Why on earth would I expect or require more affectionate terminology than any other person, unless it was to excuse my unacceptable AS based behaviour?

I've come across many, many references to people or their behaviour being described as autistic when they actually mean insensitive. I think long term, aspie is bound to become perjorative.

that.

Yes. It's all cutesy and fluffy.

And autism isn't

But whatevs. Call yourself whatever you want. I still don't like it.

I agree that it's a word people with Asperger syndrome sometimes use about themselves but it doesn't sound right when people who don't have AS use it.

My oldest DC has AS and occasionally uses the word 'aspie'. I've never used it and can't imagine a situation where it would feel okay to say it.

I don't think you are being unreasonable at all.

And basically it takes away my right to be regarded as an unfeeling bastard which I would be anyway, ASD or not...

I have heard many people refer to themselves as Aspie, including IIRC Wendy Lawson.

Its the same argument as the whole Autistic child/child with Autism debate and becomes very personal to what the person it effects feels. There has been many debates on the subject on the SN boards and wider in RL. I prefer the term 'with autism' because I feel that the other way means that the ASD becomes the defining characteristic. Others would argue that my was is wrong because their child cannot be 'without autism' so describing them as such is offensive'

Its each to their own. I am sorry if it upsets you.

Depends how you feel about having such a diagnosis. I know someone with Asperger's who calls himself an aspie because he quite likes being as... efficient... as he is.

I don't call myself an aspie, or tell anyone else anymore in RL that I have Aspergers, because I have found I become (like Moists daughter) An Aspie on all occasions, relevant or not.

And like it or not, many people hold many (probably subconscious) prejudices about people with Aspergers. Heartless, soul-less, dead behind the eyes, incapable of feeling emotion, robotic, unresponsive, a bit suspicious, self-absorbed, selfish, fussy, joyless bastards...

I find it baffling that so many people live (and noisily express) their thoughts and feelings constantly on the outside - but I wouldn't therefore assume nothing extra is happening on the inside. A courtesy that is rarely extended to those of us with Aspergers if we don't jump to it emotionally the second it's demanded of us.

As most others on this thread it is a phrase I have only ever heard used by people with aspergers and their families, I have never heard it used it anything vaguely negative.

Of course that doesn't mean that anyone else has to like it but personally I wouldn't see it as an offensive thing.

'I don't call myself an aspie, or tell anyone else anymore in RL that I have Aspergers, because I have found I become (like Moists daughter) An Aspie on all occasions, relevant or not.'

YES

and who is Wendy Lawson please Shade?

I never heard of the term until coming on here. I have a friend with aspergers. And that's how I would describe him, I would not say he is aspergers. It's the same with my friend that has downs syndrome. People who have these conditions are much more than their condition.

Wendy Lawson is an adult with Aspergers who has written many books and undertaken research on the subject of Autism and Mental Health. I have seen her speak a few times and she is quite fantastic.

Thankyou, she sounds cool.

I think people expect folk with aspergers to conform to some sort of 'Rainman' stereotype instead of realising that people with aspergers are as different to each other as NT people.

So yes people with aspergers have a reputation for 'efficiency',for not picking up on social cues - and yet a relative of mine has aspergers and is spectacularly inefficient - he spends all day in bed, he finds it very difficult to manage to his life and he does pick up on social cues he is caring and emotional but finds people endlessly confusing which makes him extremely anxious. He finds it hard to follow conversations with multiple voices, he frequently absents himself from social situations and finds it very hard to control his emotions.

As for the 'aspie' thing - i've never seen it used any more negatively than 'aspergers' is used.