DH says everybody keeps track of their finances by logging receipts

[shewhowines]

After another long night of DH huffing and puffing "doing the finances", we had the age old discussion of him saying he needs to, because that is the only way and most people do it like that (his mum does), and me saying 90% of people don't do it his way.

He makes me keep every receipt and he logs every single item we buy, on a complicated spreadsheet. He uses this to forecast our expenses so that he can transfer money if necessary. Can I just add, he is not controlling as to what I spend. It's just if I spend it, or get money out, I must keep the receipt. The system obviously works, but it is sooo time consuming. I wouldn't mind, but then I have to put up with him moaning.

I say that most people work retrospectively. They scan through their credit card bill to make sure there are no errors, and correlate this with their bank statement. Money can be transferred if necessary, at that point.

I am right aren't I? Nobody keeps their receipts and meticulously logs every bloody transaction.

i don't understand why keeping detailed financial records = being mean and tight-fisted

it's not about 'penny-pinching' for me at all. rather the reverse - i know i can afford to be generous with gifts and treats for myself and others and charitable donations because i am aware of the impact of my spending now on what i need to pay in the future.

i am lucky that i earn enough for this, but i still don't see the problem with logging my spending, especially given that it takes me less than half an hour per month to do

and i already speak 4 languages

What a nutter!! He should re train as an accountant!

I suppose it depends on whether you like doing it, some do which of course is fine, or whether you are making a rod for your own back and hating every minute of it. If it makes you resentful and unhappy about it like the OP's DH why do it?

It is perfectly possible to know roughly how much you have at any given time without documenting every last receipt. So long as you earn enough to have a tiny bit of leeway in your finances (i.e your outgoings aren't quite as big as your incoming money most of the time) then recording every little thing is a waste of time for those who aren't interested.

Not recording every transaction doesn't mean you don't notice mistakes either, just that you don't have two sets of transactions to compare (the bank statement and your own logbook/accounts book/spread sheet or whatever. I don't need to have everything recorded twice to know if something is wrong.

As I said earlier, when I had the time I used to record everything but as our accounts got more complicated and life gets generally busier and I don't do it, we haven't suffered as the result of letting it drop. It was a relief actually.

My mum used to do this - although with a pen and "cash book" from WHSmiths. Nowt so fancy as a spreadsheet .

Didn't make her any better with money though, unfortunately.

I've always done this since I first started earning, I started off with a cash book, writing down all my spends, this was way before internet banking and online statements.

We now use Microsoft Money to track our expenses, yes I keep all receipts and my DH enters them onto the computer, it can't take more than half an hour a week. Yes We cross check our bank statements and credit card statements each month. Yes we analyse what we spend money on. We also have my portfolio of investments we can see their value.

I never feel my DH is controlling my spending or checking up on me, some months he will tell me to stop spending or that we only have £x available to spend, that's fine all our income is pooled so it's the same for him too.

We've never been in debt, have paid off our mortgage and are now saving for our retirement.

I am quite careful with money, but realise I'd rather have the occasional scary moment than spend my evenings tracking my receipts. It takes a valuable five minutes which could be spent doing, well, anything. Or nothing.

Half an hour a week? I'd start to see my life flashing before my eyes. And what's more, would realised I'd spent a good chunk of that life logging receipts.

DH is uber-organised with our finances, in that he checks all the accounts online at least daily (including credit cards, current accounts etc).

But he doesn't check receipts!

Willie With respect, you are describing a whole different league of behaviour from that of the OP's DH.

If you take 30 mins a month, I would hardly describe that as being in the same league as the OP's DH who OP describes thus:

After another long night of DH huffing and puffing "doing the finances"

This is what I call wasting your life; 30 mins a month? Not so much.

Nobody would suggest that paying any attention at all to your finances morphs you overnight into Ebeneezer Scrooge, but when you find yourself in the position the OP's DH is in, you really do have to ask some questions about whether it is really worth it to save a couple of quid.

That is what I call penny pinching and tight fisted.

We do it like this. We keep receipts so we can keep an eye on what is going out of the bank account. We don't log them as such, but we do make a note of what has gone out of our account (not on a daily basis, usually every couple of days) as we like to know what is available to us so we don't overspend.

We don't use credit cards, all our transactions come from our everyday bank. It can take a few days for transactions to show up on internet banking over here, so we keep a record of what we spend, because the online balance doesn't reflect the real balance, so we always have a rough idea of what money we have. We are not well off so we need to be careful with what we spend & this system means that we know exactly where we are, money wise. More people should try it to be honest, it prevents us from over spending & running up debt.

It once took a week for $40 to show up as a debit for something I purchased in Ikea!

And we don't have a speadsheet, but we do have a book where we make a note of what direct debits we have, what needs paying when.

Me and my husband do this... I'm 31 and he's 37. Does this make us a sad couple?? :-)

Dad does this. He just likes to know where he is, but does worry about money more than I do.

I just wing it!

He's making a bit of a meal of it.

We keep receipts for anything that might need to be returned and periodically check statements to make sure there's no nasty surprises.

He's not penny pinching Duckworth - it's not apparent that he's actually trying to save money at all - he's just obsessed with watching it flow past him.

But I think he has a bit of a point too- if you find out where the money goes, you can save it a bit more easily

exactly! My friend is not very good with money, neither is her dh. They always struggle the last few days before pay day EVERY month. I suggested they keep their receipts for a month & at the end get them together to find out what was happening.

They don't use cash, just debit card.

He was having a bought lunch a couple of times a week (only a sandwich/drink meal deal, so around $7 - $10) she would have something bought a couple of times a week too. He would see this magazine he liked, she would see craft stuff. He would bring home dinner once a week, she would buy the baby a little t shirt etc.

Each transaction (except dinner for all) usually under $10. But it is those little transactions that add up! They spent (between them) $50 on lunches in one week at point (obviously $200 pm on lunches alone!). They were truly shocked, because, as they said, they didn't realise the other was spending too, and because they were small amounts they were in the mindset of "it's only $7/$10" etc.

They also don't really look at their bank accounts much during the month (just reconcile at the end of the month because they are $200/$300+ overdrawn, so lose quite a huge chunk of the single wage they live on)

They didn't go overdrawn this month, because they took a certain amount of cash out the bank (as I advised) and once they spent it, it was gone. They put their cards away for essentials only! So a few days before pay day, they could afford to get essentials to see them through.

We don't keep cash receipts, as that money has been accounted for as a debit already

As a side issue, I've found the points made about older relatives saving obsessively all their lives and either dying with a fortune, or paying it all out on care home fees, really interesting.

On one hand, who wants a joyless life? My GM was the epitome of lifelong penny-pinching, lived to 97 in a very nice care home and left a legacy - a bit more spending, earlier, would not have gone amiss.

But who does everyone think pays for care homes, if not the user? I've visited enough to see the value in being able to pay for a nice one. That's one bit of financial security I'd really like to have in place - precisely so as to be able to get on with enjoying my life without a fear of ageing in uncomfortable penury hanging over me.

I am also delighted that our DParents have enough savings to cover their own comfortable care - so we don't have that hanging over us either!

Do the people who see 'paying it all out to care homes' as a waste think the state would and should have provided an equal standard of care for free, if the person had had no savings? Therein lies a whole other thread...

I have to do this with all work-related expenses and anything I can blag as work-related for my self employed tax returns. I friggin' hate it an it takes hours and hours that I could be using to actually earn money, so no, I cannot imagine voluntarily doing this with my personal spending.

I do however, go over all internet bank accounts every couple of days, including DH's, and we use cards for most things, so I have a pretty good idea of where we are in each month.

I've got a big 'accounts' book, I always write down what I have spent and what it was for and where I spent it, same if I get any cash out. Then about once a month I do online banking to check the money had gone out, and nothing had gone out that shouldn't have. I couldn't be arsed doing a spreadsheet though!

My BIL does this, it drives my DSis mad. If we go shopping she gives me the bags of clothes when we come home and gets me to pretend I've bought them. That must muck up his spread sheet.

I just use online banking to monitor what's what. The bank remembers all our transactions so I don't have to.

My mum keeps all of her petrol receipts and logs them in a little notebook. It makes her happy to bore me with tales of fuel purchases past.

He's not penny pinching Duckworth - it's not apparent that he's actually trying to save money at all - he's just obsessed with watching it flow past him.

He is entitled to dress it up as he chooses, I call it penny-pinching.

To be honest, I think this is the nub of the issue, we all can get so wrapped up in our own habits and practices that we are unable to see how they appear to the outside world.

I know it's another thread, but unless you are shelling out big bucks, you are in the same care home whether you are paying or whether the council pays. Mil's is £800 a week. And that is for quite a dowdy home with a small single room.

Anyway, at FeetUp spending half an hour every week logging receipts and saving for retirement... That really does remind me of the pil who were punching the air with glee when at last they could go on a SAGA holiday and get a free flu jab.

I'm quite careful with money, but you only get one life and hoarding it to spend on a comfortable care home to me is... astonishing.

Duckworth - my point was that spending all that time, while not even saving pennies, or trying to, is even more pointless than actual penny-pinching - so looks truly absurd.

We're agreeing on the essentials here...

But, you can get wrapped up in idiosyncratic use of vocabulary if you want, I'm just reflecting back how it looks to the rest of us

No, even I don't do that and I am fairly anal!

When I was young, free and single (and money was tight) I did have a budget for everything (from haircuts to presents). I think this is an easier solution and you can account for everything including savings and surprises you hadn't accounted for.