Don't want to invite fussy guests over...

[lill72]

Hi,
Love to hear your thoughts. We get invited over often by a couple (no kids) for lunch. The guy used to be a chef so he always cooks amazing food. They invite us over more than we invite them - one reason is because the guy in particular is so fussy about food/alcohol. For instance we had them over yesterday and my DH cooked osso bucco and did a really good job - it was yum. But fussy eater left half most of the meat. He is ever so hard to please as he really will only eat chicken, beef at a push. he won't eat veggies - for a chef it is bordering on ridiculous. we feel immense pressure when they come over and i just don't find it pleasant to cook for them as they expect so much. It becomes a bit of competition I feel too. They invite us all the time so i dont know what to do?

One of my friends is a cattle farmer, so I have some very limited experience of the industry. I know about male cattle being a by product and all that, but I still wouldn't go out of my way to eat veal. However if it was served to me I would eat it out of politeness and not make a fuss.

Not sure what I would do if I knew for a fact that it was reared in the traditional manner. Far safer just not to serve it.

Those opposed to veal in this country should read up on the RSPCA stance on it and stop drinking milk if they won't eat our ethically raised veal.

I would never eat veal on the continent though.

I cook to please who I'm cooking for. This isn't bowing down to others, it's just a wish to please and a pleasure to do. Having said that I get very fed up with doing the Boxing Day faff as all my step family are very fussy and in a household of 4 people they all have different meals and don't eat variations on the same as their tastes are all so different. I do a buffet so there's something for everyone.

I wouldn't describe this man as 'foodie' at all. Leaving aside the issue of ethical objections to veal-rearing techniques, I know quite a few chefs, and a couple of award-winning ones, plus my husband used to work in a famous restaurant, and we both like eating well, growing our food etc. AND in my experience, chefs love being cooked for, and are very appreciative of food someone else has made at home, simply because people tend to be intimidated at the idea of cooking for them.

Not a foodie, just plain rude and a bit of an arse.

I love being cooked for and really appreciate it since I know just how much effort goes into making a meal for friends.

It sounds more likely that he was a cook rather than a chef and not a very good one at that.

One of our good friends was a restaurateur chef who trained with the Roux brothers. I used to have a nervous breakdown cooking for him, thinking he would be judging me until he said he would be happy with omelette and chips as long as someone cooked it for him for once..

Your friend sounds like an obnoxious prat.

Fussy eaters are an absolute pain the arse! I tend to do tapas style bits and everyone helps themselves when I have irritating people, then serve lots of booze so you don't get annoyed

BTW veal is absolutely fine to eat in this country, in fact it could even be termed ethical due to the using of otherwise useless male calves http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/food-and-drink/news/eat-british-veal-with-a-clear-conscience-says-rspca-899778.html according to the RSPCA

I don't really want to get into a discussion about veal - as this is not the point of my posting. It is the stress of having a guest over that is super fussy to please.

He doesn't like sweet things, doesn't really do vegetables, doesn't like lamb or pork, doesn't like cheese. see my point. They are the couple that bring mase of their own wine, as they don't trust yours may be good enough.

And when they come over, there is much pressure to 'perform' with the food, whilst keeping within the strict guidelines of what he will eat.

We feel very judged by them, which makes it tense. Despite this, I love hanging out with the guy, girl not so much.

We have to do things with them as if we didn't, they get super sensitive about things. We live too close by so it would be strange if we stopped seeing them.

Just think the answer is to vaguely but not rigidly stick to his rigid guidelines when we cook. My DH is a good cook and they know what they are getting - they can take it or leave it. Ugh....

Chicken curry?

I'd just stick with canapés and alcohol or something!

I cook a lot, and I'm quite particular about what I eat. I rarely like anyone else's cooking, I'd be happy enough with company, and wine!

Also, surely he must eat some veg really? I won't eat plain veg. Or over/under cooked veg.

Just have them over for drinks. Is not worth the stress - save your cooking for somebody who will appreciate it.

My ILs are like that. Don't do moist, seasoned or foreign. All food must be dry and bland. I despise dry and bland. We got out of it for a while by eating out (except you can't go anywhere with too interesting a menu, or ambient lighting...)

If you can't get out of cooking, don't try to compete. Keep it simple. Last time we did chicken thighs/ drumsticks (turned out too moist and tasty for DN (sigh)) Better saving the bother and frustration of a good effort being pushed round a plate.

I'm a fussy eater myself -- it is really frustrating when somebody cooks you a dinner and it is stuff you can't stand. I also have many friends who either picky, allergic, vegetarian, you name it.
Deli style or so called Swedish table is the best idea -- you just dish out the ingredients and people can help themselves.

I'm not getting into the veal debate, but this guy sounds like a complete knob. And definitely more of a wannabe-cook than a chef. Sounds like he has self-esteem issues more than anything - he was never that good in the kitchen, so he finds fault with anyone else's efforts.

Why not tell him what you're having beforehand and that way he can turn down the invitation / stuff his face at home before he turns up and you still get to enjoy a nice meal? I really do get that there are some things people really can't stand, but it's just rude to faff about like he's doing with you. I'd say something like "I'm not inviting you again, you're impossible to please" and then actually stick to it. The take-away or deli options are good suggestions if you really want to have him round. I also liked the suggestion that you decline some of their invitations so that your turn comes around less often.

How can you be a chef and not eat osso buco?

Stop doing meals with them, at their house or yours. Just go out for drinks.

nothing wrong with UK veal
see linky here

I would have cooked chicken in this instance. I do feel though if I invite guests into my home it is my job to make them as comfortable as possible.
Having spent 15 years working within the UK dairy industry I would say to all those non-veal eaters take your pick:

1. Eat British veal produced to excellent high welfare standards.
2. Accept that 99% of male dairy breed calves will be shot at 24 hours old a practice so awful that dairy farmers can't even be on the premise when it happens. The code for the knacker man is kill all those calves with baler twine tied round their necks.
3. Don't drink milk.