Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Don't want to invite fussy guests over...

68 replies

lill72 · 04/11/2013 11:30

Hi,
Love to hear your thoughts. We get invited over often by a couple (no kids) for lunch. The guy used to be a chef so he always cooks amazing food. They invite us over more than we invite them - one reason is because the guy in particular is so fussy about food/alcohol. For instance we had them over yesterday and my DH cooked osso bucco and did a really good job - it was yum. But fussy eater left half most of the meat. He is ever so hard to please as he really will only eat chicken, beef at a push. he won't eat veggies - for a chef it is bordering on ridiculous. we feel immense pressure when they come over and i just don't find it pleasant to cook for them as they expect so much. It becomes a bit of competition I feel too. They invite us all the time so i dont know what to do?

OP posts:
AlpacaPicnic · 04/11/2013 13:30

I eat all sorts (alpaca and zebra was my last exotic meal) and I love veal, but only from the free range veal farm that is local to us. It's rose veal and absolutely delicious!

Thumbwitch · 04/11/2013 13:36

If he used to be a chef then he really ought to know what osso bucco is.

gobbynorthernbird · 04/11/2013 14:11

Why can't you cook a roast? I'm a pretty good cook, but I'm sure that there are dishes my friends do better than I do. Wouldn't stop me making the dish. It'd be tasty, and I know they'd like it.
Put the food out, pour a glass of wine and enjoy the company of your guests.

MrsTerryPratchett · 04/11/2013 14:24

Hold on a sec. Veal is cow, beef is cow. I know they taste different (and I don't eat veal anyway) but it's all cow. I would assume that someone that eats beef, would eat veal, unless they objected on ethical grounds.

Bearbehind · 04/11/2013 14:29

he always has a problem with something, very annoying

Sounds to me like you don't actually like him very much at all but the food thing is the best excuse you can find to channel your dislike.

Stop accepting their invitations then you don't have to reciprocate.

sparechange · 04/11/2013 14:32

I would bet my hat that people who are saying 'I don't eat veal on ethical grounds' are basing that on 20+ year old information about veal crates and live animal transportation.

Modern rose veal production is nothing at all to do with the traditional/continental 'white veal' production, and is no less 'ethical' than eating lamb or chicken

WilsonFrickett · 04/11/2013 14:43

Spare I completely agree, but it's not a conversation I'd have over the dinner table with a plate of veal in front of me, iyswim. As I said above, many people are 'funny' about veal (including me) so it's just not something I'd chose to serve as I find sitting talking about the food on the plate incredibly boring Grin

(Yes DF's BF who chose to bring up chicken production when I'd spent the whole day slaving over a meal for you, I am looking at you)

drudgewithagrudge · 04/11/2013 15:35

I've never had veal but I have always thought there was no fat on it so he can't have left it because it was fatty.

squeakytoy · 04/11/2013 15:40

Plenty of people do not want to eat veal, so it would make sense to check particularly if you know someone is fussy before you make it for them.

firesidechat · 04/11/2013 16:16

Sorry - should have said he does also eat veal - or at least he has never mentioned he didn't. He tells us all the time the meat he does not eat trust me!!! Pork, lamb no nos. I think it was not the veal more that he hates fat on any meat. He is impossible to please basically!!

If someone asked me what food I didn't eat I don't think it would occur to me to include veal because I would assume most hosts wouldn't cook it. However I'm a very polite guest and would probably just eat the stuff rather than make a scene.

I thought veal was very low fat too, but I may be wrong about that.

HissyFucker · 04/11/2013 21:25

Make the ignorant arse a cheese bap the next time and eat what you'd like to eat.

zatyaballerina · 04/11/2013 21:52

Why not cook chicken? You don't need to compete with him for fanciest dish, just make something he'll like. Keep it simple. Or order a takeaway.

maddy68 · 04/11/2013 22:26

I would invite them over for a takeaway. That way he can choose what he wants

JohnnyBarthes · 04/11/2013 22:28

Veal can be lovely. Why are people still so freaked by it?

JohnnyBarthes · 04/11/2013 22:29

I trust the veal refusers are vegan, btw.

withgreatpower · 04/11/2013 22:34

What is wrong with veal? Honestly, can you explain this repulsion to me? I am a foreigner, and in my home country veal is regular meat. It's what you would feed babies at the first stages of weaning, meat- wise, I mean.

Is it because veal comes from a " baby " cow? What about those little cute lambs? Is it ok to eat them?

JohnnyBarthes · 04/11/2013 22:43

withgreat - male calves born to dairy cows in Britain are generally either shot at birth, raised to produce pink veal or shipped overseas in dreadful conditions to be raised in crates.

The first option is cruel and wasteful, the second pragmatic if a bit sad and the third intolerably cruel. Take your pick!

Clutterbugsmum · 04/11/2013 22:43

Is he not a chef anymore because he can only cook roast chickenGrin.

Perhaps he doesn't eat your DH food because he knows it's better then his food.

Trills · 04/11/2013 22:43

Is he fussy about vegetables and sauces and preparation?

Or is he only "fussy" in that he will not eat most meats?

Someone who will not eat lamb or pork but will eat chicken is "easier" to cook for than a vegetarian.

Trills · 04/11/2013 22:45

Lamb that you eat is not "cute little lambs".

JohnnyBarthes · 04/11/2013 22:50

Blush that'll learn me to spout off outdated info... veal crates are banned apparently in the EU. I don't think they have a bundle of laughs on the continent, though. Certainly not on the ferry there.

firesidechat · 05/11/2013 08:36

I trust the veal refusers are vegan, btw.

I don't quite understand this comment. I'm fairly pragmatic about the food I eat, but I suppose publicity (I know it's a long time ago now) has made we think twice about whether I would want to eat veal. I feel the same way about foie gras and I don't that this is particularly unusual. I don't eat bananas because I don't like them, I don't eat veal because I don't like the idea of it. It's a food choice that we are all entitled to make.

I'm not exactly a veal refuser, but the issues with veal are probably a throw back to previous rearing techniques. I don't know enough about whether all veal is now ethically raised and who wants to give your host the third degree about where they bought their meat. With so many other food out there it just seems like an odd choice, especially to feed a so called fussy eater.

Oh and it has nothing to do with them being baby animals as I'm very happy to eat fluffy baa lambs. It's the rearing techniques that have been used, which I accept may have changed now.

ethelb · 05/11/2013 08:46

Whats wrong with a bit of veal these days? Isn't getting funny about veal about 80s?

And why wouldn't you give it to someone who eats beef. It is beef.

JohnnyBarthes · 05/11/2013 09:05

I don't think all veal is naice veal, ethel but I do get the impression that if more people were prepared to eat it fewer calves would be killed or transported soon after birth.

fireside male calves are a byproduct of the dairy industry. They're not generally raised to produce beef so something has to happen to them. I just think it's hypocritical to flinch at the thought of veal whilst eating cheese.

The lamb we eat generally comes from animals who are about 6 months old I think - roughly the same age as calves raised for naice veal. I'm not a farming expert by any stretch of the imagination though.

Coupon · 05/11/2013 09:11

Carry on cooking your perfectly good food. If he leaves it that's his problem. They obviously like your company first and foremost, and that's why they keep inviting you. Also suggest some meet-ups that don't involve cooking.

Swipe left for the next trending thread