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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Don't want to invite fussy guests over...

68 replies

lill72 · 04/11/2013 11:30

Hi,
Love to hear your thoughts. We get invited over often by a couple (no kids) for lunch. The guy used to be a chef so he always cooks amazing food. They invite us over more than we invite them - one reason is because the guy in particular is so fussy about food/alcohol. For instance we had them over yesterday and my DH cooked osso bucco and did a really good job - it was yum. But fussy eater left half most of the meat. He is ever so hard to please as he really will only eat chicken, beef at a push. he won't eat veggies - for a chef it is bordering on ridiculous. we feel immense pressure when they come over and i just don't find it pleasant to cook for them as they expect so much. It becomes a bit of competition I feel too. They invite us all the time so i dont know what to do?

OP posts:

cees · 04/11/2013 11:33

You could decline their offer or suggest a restaurant instead.

harticus · 04/11/2013 11:37

Then don't invite them.
Take them to a restaurant.
I hate foodies. Pompous pains in the arse.

greenfolder · 04/11/2013 11:37

go out.

or just say it how it is- you enjoy going to them but can never seem to get food right for bloke- what does he actually eat? i have a bil like this. in the end i stopped trying to cook for him- do a bog standard roast dinner and say- we are having sunday lunch would you like to come?

they know what is on offer- he can eat before hand if he wants. i bung it on the table- everyone helps themselves. i refuse to notice what people take or dont.

Greensleeves · 04/11/2013 11:38

Awkward. If I really liked them, I would find out a couple of dishes he does like and just cook the same repertoire every time. But it would irk me.

FunkyBoldRibena · 04/11/2013 11:39

I don't know what osso bucco is but if it includes beef and he doesn't eat it then why cook it?

HissyFucker · 04/11/2013 11:43

But he's NOT a foodie, he is a picky eater, but with a background in food prep.

Foodies love food, new things and experimentation.

Never trust a chef who won't eat what he cooks! He's not likely to ever to be a great cook, as he's not open to new/different experiences.

What, out of interest, does he cook for you when you go over?

gobbynorthernbird · 04/11/2013 11:44

You have a guest who only eats chicken or beef and you cook them veal? Poor hosting, IMO.

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 04/11/2013 11:47

I wouldn't cook something that I know my guests wouldn't eat. But I can see how being overly picky is irritating.

WilsonFrickett · 04/11/2013 11:48

TBF, I probably wouldn't eat veal no matter how nicely it was cooked. I also think a lot of people are 'funny' about veal so even if I did like it, I wouldn't cook it for other people.

I think though you have to massively simplify things here.
If you want to have them over, have them over for drinks and nibbles. Or a plain Sunday roast. Or a takeaway. Don't be afraid to 'repeat' dishes. You're letting his 'self talk' (I'm a foodie, so therefore I am a special snowflake who must be pleased) overcome your natural common sense (X is a fussy bugger, let's just roast a chicken and get pissed).

Bearbehind · 04/11/2013 11:49

Surely, if they invite you over all the time, you know what ingredients he will eat so you make something which includes those things when he comes to yours?

Deliberately cooking something you know he doesn't like is just asking for trouble really.

paulagil · 04/11/2013 11:51

Lol gobby - was going to say the same thing. VEAL?????

Thumbwitch · 04/11/2013 11:51

Perhaps, if you feel that the hospitality balance is too heavily weighted in their favour, you should decline more of their invitations until the number of return visits you feel obliged to host is more manageable for you.

harticus · 04/11/2013 12:05

HissyFucker - you are right I stand corrected. He's not a real foody. Bit odd actually for a chef to be so fussy.

firesidechat · 04/11/2013 12:10

I hate foodies. Pompous pains in the arse.

He doesn't sound like a foodie though. Most foodies I know will eat almost anything, but probably not a McDonalds.

Florin · 04/11/2013 12:13

We have good friends who we really enjoy the c

pigletmania · 04/11/2013 12:13

I would not accept their invites, that way you don't feel,obliged to have them. Either that or take them out, but that might be a problem as by the sounds of it they might want a Michelin star restaurant!

firesidechat · 04/11/2013 12:15

Just noticed that it was Osso Bucco. I would be a bit funny about that too for animal welfare reasons and I know that I'm not alone. Personally I wouldn't cook it for a guest unless I knew that it wouldn't bother them. Same goes for foie gras.

I don't think that he was being all that fussy under those circumstances.

Florin · 04/11/2013 12:16

Oops! We have good friends who we really enjoy the company of however between the two of them they are really fussy so it is stressful. We have a mutal agreement now that we just order a takeaway and all order what we want. Everyone happy with the food and we have a lovely evening. We even differ on the type of white wine we like so they have their preference and we have ours.

Laquitar · 04/11/2013 12:20

Tbh as much ad i like food i dont like this kind of high pressure lunches and when all the focus is on the perfect food. It should be about the company imo.
And i wouldnt compete with a chef. The money you spent on veal etc i would go to a posh delli and buy good cold meats, top quality olives and cheese, good bread and i would put that on the table.
If they dont like that and my good company then i wouldnt have them again.

QuintesKabooom · 04/11/2013 12:25

Not sure why you cooked veal if you know he will only eat beef at a push....

You know he eats chicken, why not make it easy on yourself and serve up a nice roast chicken? Or a curry?

Have you tried fish?

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 04/11/2013 12:50

Isn't there 'good' veal available nowadays though?

vladthedisorganised · 04/11/2013 12:54

I'm with Laquitar - try a deli lunch or afternoon tea. Very few people can't be swayed by cake.

ladyantigone · 04/11/2013 12:58

If they invite you then they enjoy your company. I would relax a bit about this.

I know others have pointed it out but if you cook veal for someone who doesn't really eat beef then you put the pressure on yourselves

LtEveDallas · 04/11/2013 13:04

I am not remotely fussy with my food, and have eated many weird and wonderful things (including hedgehog and dolphin ), but I wouldn't eat Veal either. I think your menu was a mistake.

If you like them, then accept their invitations and when you reciprocate, just cook a chicken dish.

Original poster

lill72 · 04/11/2013 13:29

Sorry - should have said he does also eat veal - or at least he has never mentioned he didnt. He tells us all the time the meat he does not eat trust me!!! Pork, lamb no nos. I think it was not the veal more that he hates fat on any meat. He is impossible to please basically!!

he cooks the most amazing roast chicken so we cant cook a roast and he wont eat any other roasts. Or he cooks a shin beef ragu or BBQ.

He doesnt much that he hasn't cooked.

I dont see why you have to bow to someone's limited tastes because they are fussy. I always check with someone to see what they wont eat.

It was not our hosting - he always has a problem with something, very annoying
As my DH said - he knows he cooked a good meal and if our friend chooses to be fussy it is his problem. To be honest i don't even think they knew what osso bucco was!

OP posts:

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