To find this Halloween costume upsetting (WARNING: POSSIBLY TRIGGERING)

[frogspoon]

I have a cousin on Facebook, who is a university student. She recently posted up pictures from her uni Halloween party.

She dressed up as a "jilted bride" in a white dress with headdress, veil, bouquet etc. She smudged her make up to make it look as it she had been crying.

The part I found upsetting was that she had drawn red cuts all over her arms with lipstick, to look as though she had cut herself. I have previously self harmed, several years ago, and it made me feel quite uncomfortable to see the pictures. I am considering hiding them from my newsfeed.

AIBU to feel uncomfortable about this.

How you feel is how you feel but it's not really your cousins fault.

Nor your mums for showing you.

You are overthinking it.

YANBU IMO. But accept that University students are often stupid and thoughtless, often keen to impress/shock/amuse their peers beyond the bounds of even borderline bad taste.

I have a friend aged 28 who went to a 'bad taste party' at Uni (I won't say which because I went there too, suffice to say it's old and traditional).

He told me that two male students turned up in Manchester United T shirts and wigs dressed as Holly Wells and Jessica Chapman .

Sick and clueless. One day they will be proper adults and cringe. To be fair, apparently no one else thought it was remotely funny and they were pretty much shamed into going home.

Re Halloween this year, I agree that tasteless is the order of the day. Never mind the thoughtless and immature, Asda had to withdraw an outfit comprising a strait jacket and blood stained meat cleaver that was called 'mental patient outfit'. How one of their buyers ever let that past them God only knows.

Apologising and making a donation to MIND doesn't really cut it as far as I am concerned; there is enough stigma attached to mental health problems and there is no place for something like that in the 21st century.

YANBU. There's a world of difference between costumes with gore and costumes with "self harm" in them.

Sorry this has upset you btw; your cousin too will grow up. Just let it go. I'm glad you are healthier now x

Really Alisvol you think it wasn't unreasonable of the ops mum to specifically draw her attention to the costume?

Tbh I think the cousin is getting a bit of a raw deal.

I have seen people dress up as all sorts of awful things - stab victims, psycho nurses with knives, various forms of dead people/things.

Halloween costumes could always be potentially triggering for some people. I don't think it's fair to brand the wearer selfish/stupid etc. You could say that about just about any costume, based on offensiveness.

Just click hide and don't dwell on it.

Really Help. Her mum probably didn't even really see the marks the cousin had drawn on herself.

I am not dissimilar from the OP if you catch my drift and it wouldn't bother me. At all. Everybody is different of course and will therefore find different things upsetting.

But I'm not saying it from the perspective of someone who doesn't know what it's like.

How the fuck do you dress up as an anorexic?

Oh I googled it after seeing that and it's crap - it's basically a tight waitress dress with a skeleton print, not remotely anorexic looking iyswim

just looks like a skelington

with huge boobs

Ewww. Thanks Pato

Yanbu. MH issues are a serious medical condition and should never be used for fun factor

I love dressing up and this year I was a zombie police women, I hope to the police service I didn't insult them as they do a very important job.

I was listening to LBC earlier and it had a woman mentioning about her sister finding an Miss Ana Rexia costume with a skeleton and a tape measure around it's waist. Just like this, it's very very bad taste.

I have once or twice self harmed, but not had a specific problem with it. Not had any problems with anorexia, but know people who have. This is completely disgusting to someone who has gone through something like that or knows someone who has. To someone who doesn't see it for offensive, they really don't realise how upsetting it can be.

I would block from your newsfeed.

It's supposed to be bad taste. Wouldn't bother me in the slightest, but I'm not easily offended.

YABU really. I too self-harmed for many years, but it wouldn't have occurred to me to be offended by the costume/make up you describe.

I think the source of your upset lies more with your mother for not having second-guessed your upset reaction (and that was crass of her I agree) than about the costume itself.

P.s. Im also a mental health professional. But still don't agree that your young cousin's costume was poor taste.I also don't agree with the poster who asserted that MH issues are a medical condition. No, in the main they aren't medical conditions; they're mental health conditions (there's a crucial distinction).

OP- I do hope you don't feel too unsettled by the photos you saw, and please consider seeking further support if so.

Scampi - of course they are a medical condition!
"No health without mental health"

candy - Sorry, I don't understand your logic. There may be 'no health without mental health', but that doesn't mean that mental/emotional health are medical conditions. Indeed, the majority of instances of self-harm (and associated behaviours such as eating disorders and anxiety disorders) originate from emotional/psychological aeteologies rather than from organic 'medical conditions'.
Hence the distinction between 'functional' conditions and 'organic'.

I speak as both a mental health professional, a disability studies academic, and a life-long mental health service user.

But not to de-rail through thread- I reiterate to thread OP that however she classifies herself, she should seek some support if she feels she needs to as a result of what she saw.

*the, not "though". Stupid auto-correct.

'I also don't agree with the poster who asserted that MH issues are a medical condition. No, in the main they aren't medical conditions; they're mental health conditions (there's a crucial distinction).'

Not having a go or being snippy Scampi, just interested in why you think mental health problems aren't medical conditions.

I've always thought they were, in the main, exactly the same as a disorder of an organ, that they can be treated with medicine by a psychiatris and are in a a lot of cases recoverable (is that a word?).

It's not the best source but Wiki classes them as a medical disorder, my OCD is a genetic disorder, which can definitely be improved with medical intervention like a lot of other illnesses.

Just wondering what the differences were that you're thinking of (not PA )

Sorry, I didn't see your answer to Candy Scampi.

I don't think this is hijacking the thread as it's just furthering the discussion of the same subject.

I can understand it is upsetting, but I think your niece is just not thinking and doesn't mean anything.
My DD is at uni and told me in first year some boys dressed up as Baby P, and another as Jessica Wells and Holly Champman. DD found it so disgusting and insensitive that she actually told these boys she barely knew how horrific they were. The boys went and changed into normal clothes, came back and apologised, they didn't go out that night. They said they had got caught in the moment and carried away, completely not thinking. They apparently seemed genuinely embarrassed and disgusted at themselves.
I think Halloween at uni can get very excitable and costumes become a bit more inventive, but can at times go too far without meaning harm.