I am posting this here rather than lone parents to get a range of replies.
My ex sees one of our 3 children fairly regularly. We have a private agreement whereby although it was worked out reducing for his stepkids, no reduction would be made for overnights on the basis that i still needed to pay for everything. This was made 3 years ago and the amount has not change but I know his salary has (yes he told me!).
He has now decided that as he took DD on holiday and she is staying for a week at Xmas, plus the various weekends, for December he is reducing the maintenance for all three by one third until March to 'recoup his costs'.
My agrument is that I still have to clothe/feed/provide a home etc and
will still be expected to do so on less money. His argument is that he paid for her to have a holiday, trips out and xmas presents, plus food etc and therefore shouldn't have to pay more.
To avoid any drip feeding - it was/is his choice not to see the other DC - one is disabled and the other always argued with him. I buy all DD clothes, to the extent I got a shopping list from him for the holiday. He is not short of cash as is a high earner. This is the first time he has done this.
So AIBU to think about changing this to a CSA agreement? Although he earns more now, I don't know how much and I could end up with less. Is his argument reasonable? He has told me if I do this, he will get every deduction he can including travel costs.