To think MN should not turn into arguments

[lindalooloo]

I very rarely post on here but i do lurk a lot . I have noticed that recently reply's to posts appear to becoming more and more argumentative. I have just read a thread and whilst lots of posters were supportive there was as normal the few posters that disagreed with the OP and made it quiet obvious they did by basically calling the OP stupid. I know that not everyone in the world will ever agree but does it have to get into sarky comments that insult people, i know we all hide behind our screens and i'm sure the people who post some of the comments wouldn't really say them in the "real world", but if we have our opinions we should be able to share them without making out the other person is wrong for even thinking different. a simple "i understand what your saying but my opinion is " would be much nicer.

I am sorry to post this but I just wanted to get it out there. I will now go back to lurking in the background.

Plenty of fun to be had, and I can laugh, weep, beat my phone with anger or frustration , sigh, despair and learn all sorts, and often all in one day.

I do agree about not being an arse, but disagreeing with someone is not necessarily arse like, tis the way one does it.

I was called a goady fucker yesterday by BIWI, was a joke, made me absolutely hoot I'd started an AIBU thread about parma violets being the work of the devil.

Which they are.

More of this needed

It ain't what you say it's the way that you say it' as Bananarama once sang. Or something.

We should have a banana smiley, folk could use it as a reminder to others on a thread It ain't what you say it's the way that you say it

Could you imagine the abuse of a banana smiley?

Oh yes! Goady fucker as well and asked if i had name changed as i reminded them of someone else whose opinions they don't want to hear so they must be a troll

Piste or an arse smiley?

[arse] [banana]

Blimey Just what on earth was the thread about to attract such venom?

but what if they ARE stupid?

But seriously - there is a lot of support to be had here but if you are lurking on AIBU you aint gonna see it! Its a free for all really and most people after a while on the site know this and don't post here unless they are not that bothered, have a thick skin or are really bloody angry and cannot see how anyone would think they are UR - those are the best ones :)

Parma violets are the devils gallstones!

Problem is that if you disagree with a person face to face you tend to be more diplomatic but on the net it's easy to either be or at least come across as aggressive or big headed.
You can't see facial expression on the net as you can in real life it have a previous relationship with the other person.
To be honest if I notice someone getting a bit shirty with me I hide the thread these days, I just can't be arsed.

iwhat is someone posts something that is offensive am i really meant to think well i respect their opinion when i don't

there is sometimes bitchiness and ganging up on here which i do not like but i am not going to be all nicey nicey to someone who i have no reason to be like that towards

some subjects are very emotive, people get passionate about what they are debating is it because we are mainly woman we are meant to act in a more controlled, less assertive way

I am always being told to ODFOD and would you really say that to someone's face in real life?
I am always amazed by this because I really try on AIBU not to be unkind or rude.
Perhaps because other posters can't hear tone or see facial expressions that my words read harshly.
In real life I think my family and friends would say, I hope, that I am a kind compassionate person. But from comments from other posters on AIBU I am most definitely not!!

Sparkling. Parking!

Ooh the old parking chestnut Just. Gets everyone all frothy. You were probably being very entitled.

on AIBU I think it's to be expected (though calling someone stupid is unnecessary)

But, I have recently borne the brunt of it, on both a thread that I took part in (in feminism) where a poster literally said let's move past the person trying to make this thread all about her , because I had a differing opinion, and another which I started, about depression, which many people were really very horrible and rude.

If you don't like what you read, don't reply.

I don't have a diplomatic bone in my body, online or off.

So, yes, I do tell people to fuck off in real life. But I never call them dear.

I agree OP.

There is a contingent of MN that is argumentative for the sake of it or does not RTFT and responds to what they wish had been written so that they can have a bit of a ruck.

(Mild) example: So people shouldn't disagree?

I mean - how do you get this from the OP?: I know that not everyone in the world will ever agree but does it have to get into sarky comments that insult people

And it is not just fawning over or disagreeing with members that are recognised because of who they are. A lot of lurkers/infreuent posters get a very hard time unneccessarily. Not everyone can cope with that though and relative newcomers may not understand that "ambience" of AIBU. Conversely a lot of the really prolific posters (some of whom do fawn sometimes - yuck) are usually familiar enough with each other to actually have a good disagreement without it carrying over into other threads which I tend to quite enjoy.

Lots of people say that they behave on MN exactly the same as they do in RL but I very rarely encounter people in RL as forthright as those on MN so I think that is not true of everyone who declares this.

i doubt a forum that is mainly men you would have a man come on and tell each other to respect peoples opinions and be less argumentative, well i have never seen it but have here often

i love debating, it gets heated at times and as for thinking well if i have nothing nice to say i should keep quiet sounds like something my nanny would have told me so i came across as nice

i am nice but i can be argumentative, assertive, sarcastic and sometimes rude if i feel i am in the right to be so

How can it ever be right to be rude though?

Sparkling. No, apparently Im in the "selfish cunt" category!

Aah yes Just sounds like the usual course of events on a parking thread. Did it involve P&C spaces?

Parma violets are the devils gallstones!

Yes!!

I have seen some right scratchy folk who are just wilfully out for the ruckus jump in, sometimes as early as post one and attack. And sometimes when the OP is asking for advice. Not giving examples, I'm sure we have al seen. And I do think WTAF?

Then we need [arse] [banana]
Was going to say Sparkling's [arse] but that would sound wrong

But no problems with genuine disagreeing or arguing. How dull it would be if we all agreed...

AIBU.......?

No
No
No
No
No
No
No
No
No
No
until 1000

I have seen some prolific posters have a hard time unnecessarily, not just infrequent ones tbh.

Parking is as much a firework display I reckon as anything political or benefit bashing.

Blimey was interrupted there by the bloke who wanted to read my meters, am still in my jams. Now that is BU.

Because one person's rude is another person's direct.

That's true Tee. Thinking about it I have often sent a text to good friends and had to send a follow up 'sorry' one because it may have come across as wrong/direct/rude, when i was just innocently replying IYKWIM.

[banana]

This section is "Am I being unreasonable". Some people will think the person is being reasonable, others won't. Of course there will be arguments. Lots of people use it to vent too, I admit I do sometimes. So long as the arguments don't turn nasty or very personal I don't have a problem with that.

if we have our opinions we should be able to share them without making out the other person is wrong for even thinking different. a simple "i understand what your saying but my opinion is " would be much nicer.

But sometimes people ARE just wrong :-)