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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To find this disgusting

61 replies

NancyShrew · 31/10/2013 13:28

DPs cousin is staying with us ATM, she is 22, in full time work and has her own flat which she shares with friends back home (still UK).

She's been here nearly a week and so far I have found MASSIVE skid marks with actual clumps of poo right down the back of the toilet above the waterline (how did she even manage that?!). A used tampon floating in the toilet, used tampons loose in the bin and balls of poo floating in the toilet which obviously hasn't been flushed properly, including the remnants of what I can only assume was diarrhoea all over the underneath of the toilet seat. I know it was her because it is only me and her in the house ATM. She is very posh and well to do but every time I look at her I envisage her poo balls floating in the toilet!

AIBU to find it bloody vile?

OP posts:

Rattitude · 31/10/2013 13:29

Yep, disgusting! The key question though is do you have a toilet brush?

MrsTerryPratchett · 31/10/2013 13:30

IBS? That affects people of any poshness level. Do you have cleaning supplies and a loo brush in the toilet?

5Foot5 · 31/10/2013 13:32

Yuck one can only imagine what her own flat is like if she is this messy!

I would find it pretty disgusting too but I am not sure what I would say to her as a guest. Is she staying long? If it is only a day or two I think I would just grit my teeth and get on with it but if it is a longer term thing then I suppose you will need a tactful word about tying to leave the toilet in a state you would like to find it in.

Jolleigh · 31/10/2013 13:36

Posh people get digestive problems just like everyone else! Do you have a toilet brush? Maybe leave it on top of the loo to give her a hint to remove her own poo from the porcelain?

DevilsRoulette · 31/10/2013 13:40

What about saying oh, just to let you know that the loo brush etc are in and there are little bags by the loo bin.

That way you are telling her to clean up without telling her to clean up, which would be embarrassing for both of you.

I suppose if you still feel that's going to embarrass, you could pad it out with a couple of non loo related directions.

Original poster

NancyShrew · 31/10/2013 13:47

The toilet brush and bleach and nappy bags for sanpro are all clearly visible in the bathroom. I appreciate she may have digestive problems but that really doesn't stop her cleaning up after herself! She is staying another week!

OP posts:

Original poster

NancyShrew · 31/10/2013 13:47

Also that I had to flush her floating used tampon down the toilet. I'm afraid I couldn't quite bring myself to fish it out.

OP posts:

HALLOsolohowyouWEEN · 31/10/2013 13:48

She should not be flushing tampons anyway!!!

Handbagsonnhold · 31/10/2013 13:48

Uggghhhhh Absoultely vile....think I'd have to evict

angelos02 · 31/10/2013 13:49

What difference does it make if she has IBS or any other digestive problem?

She should still clear up any mess and not leave any traces of shit in the bowl.

NoArmaniNoPunani · 31/10/2013 13:49

Minging. There's no excuse for not cleaning up after yourself, even if you have digestive problems

HALLOsolohowyouWEEN · 31/10/2013 13:50

Will she pay the plumbers bill if the loo blocks up? she's old enough to know better!

Fakebook · 31/10/2013 13:51

...I thought posh people only poo flower petals and pot pourri.

phantomnamechanger · 31/10/2013 13:51

looks can be deceiving OP, there's no knowing what folk do in their own homes - my mate house shared with a bank manageress, always very well turned out and glam, and came home from holiday to find 2 weeks worth of poo, pee, paper AND used san pro in the loo cos miss posh business woman could not be bothered to call a plumber/the landlord to sort the toilet out!! GRIM!

gamerchick · 31/10/2013 13:52

The poo thing wouldn't bother me.. Most people just close lid and flush. Not many would have a look afterwards to check it had all gone.

I would ask her not to flush tampons.. show her how to dispose of them.

OvaryAction · 31/10/2013 13:52

Aren't you supposed to flush tampons? I thought you were

DevilsRoulette · 31/10/2013 13:55

Well, if they are there but she isn't using them, you're going to have to have a very difficult conversation.

I don't envy you!

Perhaps concerned is the way to go. I notice that you are having trouble cleaning the loo, would you like me to buy a different sort of brush for you?

Sorry to have to bring this up but the plumbing can't cope with tampons, there are little bags and a bin by the loo for them to go in.

I am not quite sure how you'd make yourself have such an excruciatingly embarrassing conversation but it's got to be better than cleaning up her shit and tampons, right?

DevilsRoulette · 31/10/2013 13:56

No, ovaryaction, click here one of several problems our poor old sewer system is struggling to cope with.

shrunkenhead · 31/10/2013 14:00

No, they end up in the sea.....it's environmentally unsound to flush San pro. I have digestive issues and that makes me even more particular in ensuring guests' toilets are left clean! No excuse as you have the necessary equipment eg loo brush and bin and cleaning products nearby.

coldwater1 · 31/10/2013 14:01

Oh gosh, not even my kids are that gross!!

NomDeOrdinateur · 31/10/2013 14:07

TBH, I'd write her a note - it's less awkward.

"Dear X, apologies in advance for putting this in a note - I'd be a bit embarrassed talking about it face to face.

First off, sorry for not pointing this out before but used tampax etc need to be tied up in one of the little bags we keep on the windowsill and then put into the bathroom bin.

Also, as I'm sure you've noticed, somebody has been leaving the loo in a right state. I'm therefore asking everybody to make sure that they've cleaned the toilet bowl, rim, and seat (both sides) for stains after every use from now on.

I'll be keeping an eye on the state of the bathroom throughout the day from now on, but if you go in and see something amiss please tell me so I can send the culprit back in to sort it out. If you need anything, let one of us know!"

HALLOsolohowyouWEEN · 31/10/2013 14:25

Nooo...never flush anything like that. Only toilet tissue is ok because it breaks up completely in water.

OvaryAction · 31/10/2013 14:40

Thanks Devils I've not had to use san pro for about three years now, but have been guilty of this in the past. I think we were told to flush them back in school sex ed classes.

Rattitude · 31/10/2013 14:47

I like Ordinateur's note. It dilutes the responsibility for the mess (i.e. it could have been anybody in the household) rather than pinpointing she did it, and (re-)states the rules of the household.

NomDeOrdinateur · 31/10/2013 15:00

Ooh-err, I just noticed that my piecemeal editing didn't work very well - the 4th sentence was supposed to say "I'm therefore asking everybody to make sure that they've cleaned the toilet bowl, rim, and seat (both sides) of any stains after every use."

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