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AIBU?

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Original poster

To find this disgusting

61 replies

NancyShrew · 31/10/2013 13:28

DPs cousin is staying with us ATM, she is 22, in full time work and has her own flat which she shares with friends back home (still UK).

She's been here nearly a week and so far I have found MASSIVE skid marks with actual clumps of poo right down the back of the toilet above the waterline (how did she even manage that?!). A used tampon floating in the toilet, used tampons loose in the bin and balls of poo floating in the toilet which obviously hasn't been flushed properly, including the remnants of what I can only assume was diarrhoea all over the underneath of the toilet seat. I know it was her because it is only me and her in the house ATM. She is very posh and well to do but every time I look at her I envisage her poo balls floating in the toilet!

AIBU to find it bloody vile?

OP posts:
Tuppenceinred · 31/10/2013 15:45

"I know it was her because it is only me and her in the house ATM."
Hard to dilute the responsibility when there are only two of them there.

Mia4 · 31/10/2013 15:47

Some people really are foul OP. I have awful IBS, as does my DP, however we both manage very easily to use the air freshener, brush and dettol wipes when needed.

I remember at one of my old workplaces- very professional environment with some very posh professional almost scarily-intimidatingly so women in it- there were constantly shit streaks and notes in the bathroom reminding people of courtesy. A very narky email went around after it was noted some of the women (ironically one was the person that seemed the most stern and anal) weren't washing their hands and had left bloody sanitary wear by the side of the toilet on the small partial shelf rather then in the bin.

Rattitude · 31/10/2013 15:53

Grin at Tuppence. i had not spotted that.

ImThinkingBoutMyDoorbell · 31/10/2013 16:25

Ok this is embarrassing to admit, but I was similar to the guest at that age. And I lived with friends at uni and later my DP (now DH), starting from about 17.

I didn't see poo marks on toilets. Just didn't see them, never turned around and checked for them or if I did see it didn't think anything about it. My mum, or our cleaner, cleaned the toilets. We only used the loo brush if a big log got stuck and needed poking or breaking up, in which case you'd swizz the brush round the sides as well while you were at it. It was never our responsibility to clean the toilets of poo marks after use. My siblings and I had a separate bathroom, my parents had theirs en suite and the whole notion of cleaning the toilet of any traces after you'd had a poo somehow completely passed me by. And my siblings. I'm not even sure if my parents thought this was too obvious to need explanation, or it wasn't important to them either. In fact, brace yourselves, it wasn't until I read it on MN that I realised that it is only natural and polite to clean the toilet of any poo traces after you. I dread to think how many skidmarks I've left in people's loos over the years, as a grown woman. My DH always did and still does, but now I'm aware of it and trying to change both our habits.

Some people really need do it pointed out to them, especially if they've grown up with parents who did everything for them.

NomDeOrdinateur · 31/10/2013 16:55

Tuppence - the subtext is more "We both know it was you, but for the sake of making the next week less awkward we can both pretend otherwise as long as you stop doing it now" Wink.

digerd · 31/10/2013 17:28

The skid marks at the back of the toilet are caused by leaning forwards resting forearms on the knees to rest your back instead of sitting upright. But they can be seen when facing the pan to lower the lid before flushing. If they have skidded you then lift up the seat to see if the flushing has flushed them clean and if not you use the brush and flush again and repeat until clean, cleaning the brush thoroughly.

magicstar1 · 31/10/2013 19:25

If she's your niece can you not just say it out straight to her? "You've left a mess in the toilet, go and sort it out. "

I had a party guest once who peed all over the seat and floor, so I told him to go back in and clear it up...simple

magicstar1 · 31/10/2013 19:26

Sorry, not niece, but even easier if she's not a relative.

HALLOsolohowyouWEEN · 01/11/2013 00:11

Magicstar this is the very reason I hate the idea of hosting a party at home. The guests have to use the toilet and would probably leave a mess Blush.

fiftyandfab · 01/11/2013 14:41

Nom's advice/note would be excellent if there were more than the two of them in the house!

I personally would challenge her with the offending loo and say you are joking if you think leaving my toilet in this state is acceptable! If she's that thick skinned not to have noticed it in the first place, she can't possibly take offence at this!

NomDeOrdinateur · 01/11/2013 15:28

Fifty - Nancy said there were only two of them in the house at the time of posting, which I take to mean that there are other people in the house during the evenings etc. I may well be wrong though! Smile

Nancy - if there are just the two of you, I'd still go for a note because I'm too immature to talk about poo with a straight face...

"Dear X, I'm writing this in a note to save us both embarrassment.

Firstly, I'm sorry for not mentioning this earlier, but our plumbing can't take tampons. Please could you tie them up in the little bags we keep on the window sill and put them in the bathroom bin when you remove them?

Also, please may you check the toilet bowl, rim, and both sides of the seat for stains after you've used it, so it's clean for the next person.

Please don't take offense - everybody has their routines, and I should have explained ours to you when you arrived."

Rattitude · 01/11/2013 20:28

Like your new note, Ordinateur. Have you thought about a career as a toilet rules writer? Wink

ImperialFucker · 01/11/2013 20:48

I'd have to shout at the time of seeing it, I'm afraid. It's easier doing that rather than face to face. Just yell, "Niece, can you make sure you clean the toilet after yourself please? It's a real mess here." Then keep away from her for a while. That's disgusting!

NomDeOrdinateur · 01/11/2013 21:04

Rattitude - thanks! I'm concerned to note that it seems to be turning into a hobby: I wrote a poem about macerating loo conduct for somebody on here a couple of weeks ago and once wrote an entire 4,000 word undergraduate essay on the symbolic meaning of defacation in works of post-postmodernist literature... Blush

fiftyandfab · 02/11/2013 10:11

if you're going to write about defecation, at least spell it correctly

NomDeOrdinateur · 02/11/2013 11:00

Fifty - If you're going to pull people up on proof-reading errors, at least put a full stop at the end of your sentence. See, it's easily done Wink.

HellonHeels · 02/11/2013 11:08
Grin
Hawkmoth · 02/11/2013 11:18

I dream of the day when I can go to the toilet without flushing or cleaning it first. I hate other people.

Rattitude · 02/11/2013 11:29

Ordinateur, your serenity in the face of adversity is admirable! One might say that you cope well with shit. wink

Rattitude · 02/11/2013 11:30

Or Wink even!

ReluctantBeing · 02/11/2013 11:32

She is mining. I would have to say something.

ForFawkesSakeNoGuyForSolo · 04/11/2013 00:22

Mining?!! in the toilet Shock Wink

mrsspagbol · 04/11/2013 02:45

[grip] at Nom

mrsspagbol · 04/11/2013 02:45

Grin, even

AdoraBell · 04/11/2013 02:54

The note as suggested, or Get DP To have a word with her.

I couldn't put up with that from an able bodied adult. It's beyond disgusting.