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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have sent my 14 year old off alone on a cross country train journey....

126 replies

BurberryFucker · 29/10/2013 17:05

from Wales with changes at Birmingham New St and London (Euston to Liverpool st) to the other side of Colchester?
am going out of my mind with the arguments between him and his twin sister so have sent him off to stay with my dad for a few days to save my sanity and give them both a break.
now am freaking out as he doesn't have a mobile with him......
ETA at Colchester approx 6.20....
AIBU?
ps he is quite streetwise.

OP posts:
KirjavaTheCorpse · 29/10/2013 17:08

Why doesn't he have a mobile with him? How is he supposed to contact you or his dad if something goes wrong with trains/tickets?

Original poster
BurberryFucker · 29/10/2013 17:09

not his dad, my dad.
I imagine he would use a phone box....

OP posts:
OvaryAction · 29/10/2013 17:09

Nah I used to travel alone quite a way on trains and buses at that age. There's staff to ask for help if he needs it, it's not like he's wandering the streets.

suprisepitstop · 29/10/2013 17:10

Ni, 14 is plenty old enough for that IMO, it will be an empowering experience for him.

usualsuspect · 29/10/2013 17:11

He will be fine.

SquinkiesRule · 29/10/2013 17:11

I'm sure he'll be fine if he's pretty streetwise, we all survived trains and buses without mobile phones when I was a teen.
My Mum stuck me on the bus to London, then I caught the train to Spain when I was 16 and looked like a 12 year old. Never had any problem, never needed a phone. Aunt picked me up at the other end.
He'll probably call as soon as he arrives.

KirjavaTheCorpse · 29/10/2013 17:12

Ah I see, misread. I remember travelling quite far at 14 (I was pretty much free of parental influence) and getting in some right pickles.

Has he done the journey before?

GrendelsMum · 29/10/2013 17:12

If he's a streetwise lad, I'm sure he'll be fine. Like Ovary says, there are staff to ask for help if it goes wrong. FWIW, I accidentally took the wrong train the other day, ended up some way from where I was meant to be, and the train staff got me on the train to the right place without any particular surprise or problem.

Original poster
BurberryFucker · 29/10/2013 17:14

thank you everyone for answering and putting my mind at rest a bit....
grendelsmum he has done both journeys before and knows the tube system pretty well....

OP posts:
Original poster
BurberryFucker · 29/10/2013 17:15

sorry i meant Kirjavathecorpse......

OP posts:
oscarwilde · 29/10/2013 17:17

If he's got emergency cash and the sense not to leave his bags unattended he'll be fine. Grin

My question is would you send your daughter at 14? Smile

jasmine3663 · 29/10/2013 17:17

As he has done the journey he should be ok. But, perhaps, next time he should have a PAYG mobile for YOUR peace of mind

SatinSandals · 29/10/2013 17:18

It will be very good for his self confidence. I think I would be happier if he had a mobile with him though.

Original poster
BurberryFucker · 29/10/2013 17:22

no i wouldn't send my daughter she looks small and vague and short sighted and doesn't know north from south. Also she wouldnt want to go on such a journey alone.
yes i would be happier if he had a mobile too.......Confused

OP posts:
LynetteScavo · 29/10/2013 17:23

I did journeys like this as a teenager and .......I had no mobile!!!! If necessary I used a public telephone. (Which I recently discovered cost a lot more than 20p!)

He will be fine. (I'm sure my 14 year old would be). The only issue might be if trains are delayed, and your dad has to wait around at the station for him.

MrsAMerrick · 29/10/2013 17:26

I'd say it's fine to send him, but I do question why he hasn't got a mobile with him. I used to travel everywhere by train at that age, and of course there were no mobile phones back in the dark ages but there were phone boxes at every station. I don't think it's as easy to find a phone box these days.

CloserLook · 29/10/2013 17:28

I took several long journeys alone at that age and younger with no major problems. As long as he's got time to ask for help between changes and some spare phone money I'm sure he'll be fine.

Does he know where exactly to meet your dad at the other end? That was the only time I ever had any problems (waiting on platform when my dad was outside the station).

Just try and relax, I'm sure he'll be fine. Next time you could give him a cheap mobile for your peace of mind though.

miaowmix · 29/10/2013 17:28

Can't see the issue unless he's spectacularly silly. But don't quite get why he doesn't have a mobile? I know we all did similar back in the day pre mobile phones, but there were plenty of phone boxes then. Don't recall seeing many around any more...

Original poster
BurberryFucker · 29/10/2013 17:28

he hasn't got a mobile with him cos he keeps losing them or their chargers.
There are still phone boxes at terminus stations eg Liverpool St

OP posts:
Original poster
BurberryFucker · 29/10/2013 17:29

and he isnt meeting my dad, he will walk to my dad's house from the station - it is only a step and a quiet village beyond Colchester - God does that make us sound really slack?

OP posts:
5madthings · 29/10/2013 17:32

He will be fine!

My 14 yr old has down joureys into Liverpool st, then give and then out the other way to relatives.

Mobile would have been good for your peace of mind but as you say he can use a payphone.

CinnamonPorridge · 29/10/2013 17:32

No, it makes you sound normal.
Have my 14yo nephew here, he travelled across the country with changes. No problem.

frogspoon · 29/10/2013 17:34

I think if he had a phone, he was being met at the station, and it was light outside then I would say that YANBU

As the situation stands: a 14yo arriving at a little station in the middle of nowhere, with no phone, in the dark, YABU. I hope you sent him with plenty of money to get a taxi if there is a problem.

usuallyright · 29/10/2013 17:35

how long is the walk from the station to your dad's house?
My biggest concern would be if the train was delayed or cancelled and be ended up getting there after dark or something. I'd definitely send him with a mobile next time.

usuallyright · 29/10/2013 17:36

and after a complicated journey like that, I'd definitely want him met at the station, especially if he arrives in the dark