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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Or is dh - storming off

73 replies

TwoTribes · 28/10/2013 12:01

The storm hit last night about midnight. I was still up watching tv. Dh had gone to bed about an hour earlier.

Anyway, he appeared in the living room with a sleeping bag and asked me to turn the tv off because it was late. I said why don't you sleep on the airbed (we had one pre-prepared in ds's room).

He said, it's late I've got to get up for work tomorrow, so I repeated, well go and sleep on the airbed then. So he angrily grabbed his sleeping bag and stormed out of the room, shouting You fucking selfish cow, and slammed the door behind him as hard as he could Shock

He was obviously expecting me to stop watching my programme, and go up to sleep on the airbed so he could sleep on the sofa. I didn't see any reason why I should.

Who was BU?

OP posts:
eurochick · 28/10/2013 12:02

I don't understand. Why wasn't one of you sleeping in a bed?

But personally anyone who called me wheat he called you would not remain in my life. There is no respect there.

Davsmum · 28/10/2013 12:03

Both of you?

chinley · 28/10/2013 12:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

YouStayClassySanDiego · 28/10/2013 12:05

Another one here waiting for further info.

Don't you have a bedroom with a bed?

His language towards you was appalling!

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 28/10/2013 12:06

Do you not have a bedroom?

Catnap26 · 28/10/2013 12:06

Agree with chinley.i don't think the way he spoke to you was acceptable.

Original poster
TwoTribes · 28/10/2013 12:07

Sorry, not very clear - our bedroom is a loft conversion and the roof rattles when it's windy. As we were expecting the storm, we knew that it might not be the safest/calmest place to sleep so we put up an airbed in ds's room. We didn't think to specify who it was for, it was just another bed if someone needed it. Ds's room is the most sheltered.

OP posts:
DevilsRoulette · 28/10/2013 12:07

don't you have a bed/bedroom?

We need to understand the sleeping arrangements in order to answer your question

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes · 28/10/2013 12:08

nope confused.

SilverApples · 28/10/2013 12:08

You both sound very odd, and your post reads like the middle of a narrative.
Were you squabbling before this incident?

RandomMess · 28/10/2013 12:08

He was being unreasonable.

chinley · 28/10/2013 12:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DevilsRoulette · 28/10/2013 12:10

sorry, xpost Grin

I think he was being unreasonable. There's never any need to yell at someone like that. Why didn't he just sleep in his son's room? Does the child wake in the night? is that the reason he seemed to say that he had to sleep on the sofa because he had to be up early?

If no conversation was had about who was sleeping where, then he needed to wind his neck in, frankly.

SilverApples · 28/10/2013 12:10

He'd already gone to bed before you?
What made him come back downstairs? Confused
Do you not have conversations with each other, before getting stroppy?

Original poster
TwoTribes · 28/10/2013 12:10

Normally, me and dh in our bedroom (loft conversion), dd in her room and ds in his room. But because of the storm, one of us on sofa, one of us on airbed, dcs in their own beds.

OP posts:
BeScarefulWhatYouWitchFor · 28/10/2013 12:12

He was BU. He should have just gone to your DS's room and slept on the airbed.

Original poster
TwoTribes · 28/10/2013 12:13

SilverApples no we had no been squabbling and we do have conversations so this came out of nowhere. I think he didn't even think about me at all. I think he was woken by the storm and decided to sleep on the sofa. Then, because I was watching tv he wanted me to turn it off.

OP posts:
SilverApples · 28/10/2013 12:13

Did your children wake up with the yelling and the door slamming, or are they used to it?
HWBU, did you swear back at him for being an arse?
What was wrong with the airbed? Is he very tall, or heavy?

MrsGarlic · 28/10/2013 12:13

He was BVU to speak to you like he did.

It also sounds like there is not much communication going on. Had he come in and said "Sorry love, but the airbed isn't all that comfy and our room is out due to the storm. As I have to work tomorrow, and need some rest in order to do so, please could I sleep on the sofa? I realise you're watching TV but if you could do me this favour I would really appreciate it" then perhaps you could have come to an understanding.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 28/10/2013 12:13

He shouldn't speak to you like that, but you were being pretty unpleasant keeping him up just to watch TV at midnight.

Lottiedoubtie · 28/10/2013 12:14

Obviously he was U for the rudeness and storming out.

But, I wonder what he would say if asked why he thought he was sleeping on the sofa?

CoffeeTea103 · 28/10/2013 12:14

Does your DS get up and night? If not then he should have slept on the air bed and he was unreasonable.
He should not have spoken to you in that way. That is a disgusting, disrespectful way to speak to your partner.

YouTheCat · 28/10/2013 12:15

How was she keeping him up? He had gone to bed, then he got up and if he had a brain in his head he would have just gone to sleep on the airbed.

chinley · 28/10/2013 12:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 28/10/2013 12:16

I'm guessing because she had the TV on?

It's quite hard to sleep through someone's programme. DH and I usually use earphones if we're watching something that late and the other has to get up early.