Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this Mum was horrid and ruined a little girls birthday party

93 replies

WonderBarbara · 27/10/2013 21:10

We were at a party today, and the kids were playing happily on the bouncy castle, parents chilling and supervising. Suddenly, from what seemed out of no-where, one Mum, who had been watching the bouncy castle from the other side of the hall, came running up and shouted (and yes, I mean she actually shouted) "STOP IT, DON'T YOU DARE KICK HIM, HOW DARE YOU, YOU STUPID BOY!" We called for her DS, who was not crying at all and who otherwise seemed unharmed, and left with him without saying anything. She didn't even put her ds's shoes back on.

Now, the little boy who she had been shouting at did not have a parent who stayed at the party, and I felt so sorry for him. he stopped playing on the bouncy castle and went to play with some balloons and although he seemed happy, I just couldn't believe that another mum had just screamed a him public like that!

I asked my Dd what had actually happened (she had been on the bouncy castle) and she said that the boys had been playing a game and had been pushing each other down and standing and stamping on each other. Ok I admit no a very safe game, but surely this mum could have got the whole story before going crazy.

The Mum of the birthday girl was horrified and she went out after the Mum I assume to talk to her, but came back in shortly after and tried to act like nothing had happened. Most of the children left the bouncy castle, and a few of the children, including my DDs then came over and started being clingy, whereas before they had been fine. Most of the other parents, like me were shocked, and embarrassed. The atmosphere changed. The birthday girl from that moment on would not leave her mums side.

I just feel like this woman behaved abysmally really and I feel really unsettled about it. But then again, children being called stupid usually is enough to set me off......I wanted to give the poor little boy a hug.....

OP posts:
Original poster
WonderBarbara · 27/10/2013 21:11

Sorry that should have been "she called for her DS" not "we"

OP posts:
weneedtotalkaboutkettles · 27/10/2013 21:13

Honestly? I can see how it was a tiny bit off but a mum yelling in public isn't exactly ruining the child's birthday party, especially as from your description the child she yelled at was not the one who whose birthday was being celebrated!

AlexaChelsea · 27/10/2013 21:15

kettles I disagree.

It sounds horrible and the woman sounds mental. She shouted at another child that he was stupid, and then instantly grabbed her child and just walked out?

Crazy behaviour. Really bizarre.

AuntieStella · 27/10/2013 21:16

Would it have seemed such a harmless game if stamping on a prone child had led to a broken nose, or smashed teeth, or teeth through a lip?

How on earth did anyone think such a "game" was a good idea?

LindyHemming · 27/10/2013 21:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
WonderBarbara · 27/10/2013 21:18

Ok. Maybe I ABU then.
It's just that the atmosphere really changed and the birthday girl went from playing happily to clinging to her mum, so I thought that she might have been a bit distressed by it, as my dd, so put a huge downer on her party.

OP posts:
Original poster
WonderBarbara · 27/10/2013 21:19

The children are 3 and 4

OP posts:
CoffeeTea103 · 27/10/2013 21:20

Her reaction must have been to that horrible game being played! So I don't think she was being unreasonable. The kids probably got over it after a few minutes though and I'm sure they still had a good time.

ProphetOfDoom · 27/10/2013 21:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

weneedtotalkaboutkettles · 27/10/2013 21:21

Well yeah but then you do just have to explain as other people have that she probably got a fright and so on. I'm not defending her per se - massive over reaction and very rude - but I do think that if we react to things like this in an over the top manner ourselves, gasping and hand wringing and "won't someone think of the children" we give the kids the impression that there IS something to be really upset about and I'm not sure there was, here, with the exception of the little boy who WAS yelled at.

My brother was always doing stupid stuff like that growing up, was always being yelled at for it, and everyone just carried on much as before Grin I don't remember any parties or events being ruined by it although I did pretend not to be related to him

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 27/10/2013 21:22

She handled it badly. She could have intervened in a calmer way and stopped the rough play without creating such a drama.

LEMisafucker · 27/10/2013 21:23

I get really fucked off when people describe people as mental why is that considered ok???

OP YANBU i was actually at a party when a similar thing happened, a rentagob mother started bellowing at her own child and anotehr child who was getting abit ott. Thankfully it was at the end of the party, but most of the children did a sharp intake of breath and my DD (8) was at my side like a shot. This mother has a mouth like a foghorn and i avoid her like a dose of the shits

Original poster
WonderBarbara · 27/10/2013 21:23

Stella I agree that it wasn't a good game, I had seen the boys playfully pushing each other over I admit, but didn't see them stamping, if I had I would have calmly told them to play a different game or to come off the castle, but I wouldn't have shouted. As it happens, this mum saw before I (or any of the other parents presumably), so I am not saying the boys game was acceptable, I just think she handled it frightfully wrong.

OP posts:
soontobemumofthree · 27/10/2013 21:24

I agree with Euphemia she probably just saw the bit of the game where they were jumping on her son and got a fright.

The game was a bit stupid. I don't condone shouting this at any child, especially in these circumstances but sounds like a gut reaction. Sometime that feeling of needing to protect your child to me feels a bit ??animal. Don't know how else to describe it.

It would be awkward afterwards but not sure that is a ruined party IMO.

fanjofarrow · 27/10/2013 21:24

She sounds like Sharon from EastEnders. Shock

Original poster
WonderBarbara · 27/10/2013 21:26

Sorry I you are offended with the term mental Lem, I don't like it either

OP posts:
mojojomo · 27/10/2013 21:33

Well at age 3 or 4 I think it's more understandable that the mum felt she had to intervene, rather than trust that the children in the bouncy castle were playing within safe limits.

I say this as a parent of a 2yo who had to remove their child while at a soft play type place today. A slightly older child was holding my child's face while trying to bite his face. I removed my child from the situation without shouting at anyone, but was close enough to intervene immediately. Otherwise if I was further away I probably would have shouted at the (approx) 3yo to stop.

ArbitraryUsername · 27/10/2013 21:33

No matter how much of 'a fright' she'd had, it doesn't really excuse shouting at another child and calling him a 'stupid boy'. Kids do stupid things (like have jumping in each other games on the bouncy castle). Having a go at a child is really mean. And being scared is no excuse really.

Maybe I'm weird though, because I'd usually assume that my previous second born was part of the stupidly, and would just have shouted about it being a dangerous game that they should stop. And not because he's never been injured as a result of such stupid games. He broke his nose at a birthday party because he was running around wildly with his friends. Two of them ran in to each other and DS2 emerged holding his nose and screaming. (Waves to anyone who recognises the scenario). The other boys' mum was mortified but it really was just an accident and both boys were as silly as each other.

HappyHalloweenMollyHooper · 27/10/2013 21:35

Fright or no fright you don't bellow at small children calling them stupid.

There is always a chance children will get rough with each other in these situations and parent should be prepared to deal with it properly, not go around calling children names.

mojojomo · 27/10/2013 21:40

Genuine question to those who say adults shouldn't shout at young children. What would you have done in my situation if you were further away and knew that in those few seconds before you got there, your child could have their face bitten ?

killpeppa · 27/10/2013 21:40

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

ArbitraryUsername · 27/10/2013 21:41

I'd shout 'stop'. And maybe that whatever was happening was dangerous.

I wouldn't shout at a child and call him names. Just as I wouldn't call an adult names.

soontobemumofthree · 27/10/2013 21:42

Mojojomo I'd probably have shouted (not too loud!) "Hey hey hey" or similar to try and get their attention, and give me enough time to run over

LEMisafucker · 27/10/2013 21:43

Killpeppa - i must be a crazy bitch then because i need my meds! I would not however be screaming at children at a party Hmm Your post is extremely prejudiced and offensive

mojojomo · 27/10/2013 21:44

Ok so you would have shouted. I don't think anything else would work but interested to hear other ideas.

Swipe left for the next trending thread